DARK BLUE DREAMCHASER
(False Dawns and the
Depths of Despair)
Dundee fans have seen more false dawns than a GMTV Weather
Forecast. Over the last twenty years, there have been too many occasions when
even a super optimist would have been reaching for the Wilkinson's.
Nevertheless, in 1993 we became the most northerly senior
club in the world to reach our Centenary. Simon Stainrod was boss at the time
and we celebrated ineptly by going down 2-1 to Motherwell at Dens. As part of
the centenary events, a six mile road race was held on a zig-zagging course
between Camperdown Park and Dens. The inimitable Hawkhill Harrier Charlie Love
won the race, but I managed to overtake young Craig Nicoll from the Tayside club
in Sandeman Street to take second place and win £15 of club vouchers presented
by S.S. himself, courtesy of football’s most vice-like handshake.
Simon was one of several managers who put a few good
results together, before hitting the skids and a 4-3 win over Rangers at Dens in
1992 was probably the highlight of his reign ; with Weighorst and super tackler
Vrto his best signings.
But, it’s always enjoyable to stuff the Teddies and, as
Doddsie swept in a late penalty for the clincher, we revelled in Stainrod’s
sheer presence in his long dark coat and fedora.
"Who’s the bastard in the hat?”, the Weedgies chanted – “
There’s only one Simon Stainrod” we enlightened them ; clearly, you don’t have
to be the sharpest tool in the woodshed to follow the Old Firm !
I have always strongly believed in our divine right to beat
Rangers and our record against them between the 60’s and 90’s is astonishing and
we could always rely on Cammy Fraser, John Brown or Jimmy Murphy to expose their
shortcomings. We even managed to cuff them on my wedding day in November 1979.
During the speeches, my dad was giving thanks to something or other and he took
the opportunity of announcing to all and sundry that the Dees had cuffed the
Huns 3-1 at Dens.
We cuffed the Dabs a few times as well during this period
and, of course there was the famous 5-1 win over the Tims at Dens (and we still
got relegated !).
Then again, we reimbursed Celtic in full on the 3rd
May, 1986, well at least Albert Kidd did as his two late goals denied the Jam
Tarts the title and Albert became a hero simultaneously in the east ends of
Glasgow and Edinburgh, although most Dundee fans had him down as Vince Mennie
with a dodgy moustache!
So we missed out on Europe on goal difference and instead
of Continental opposition, Dens Park was invaded by a plague of clowns in the
shape of Angus (Cook the Books), Ron Dicko and Coco himself – Dave Smith. They
promised fans the moon and delivered hell on earth. New stadium plans kept the
architects busy, but it wasn’t until Peter and Jimmy came along that there was
any need to find the on button for the cement mixer.
Dog track Dixon allegedly saved us from going under and he
did plough some cash into the club, before squeezing the life blood out of us
and Neil McCann and Jimbo Hamilton went for peanuts – but Cookie was in a class
of his own and he even managed to unite ourselves and the Dabs fans, with his
madcap schemes for mergers, takeovers and a name change to Dundee City.
The ultimate bogeyman, or what?
But the diehards hung in there, always believing that there
might actually be a future and defiantly celebrating morsels of success. It is
debateable when the lowest point was actually reached; being bottom of the First
Division and 2-1 down to Berwick Rangers at Dens in September 1980 certainly
took some beating, although new signing Cammy Fraser managed to come up with an
equaliser and then miss a penalty. He was probably Donald Mackay’s only decent
acquisition.
That was a definite low point, but my vote goes to the New
Year’s day game in 1997. It was Cowboy’s first game in charge and we had
managed to go 7-1 down at McDiarmid farm, with Chick Charnley taking his usual
route of early bath and in the pub well before the final whistle! . On this
particular occasion it was for aiming a punch at Robbie Raeside!
All this was played to a backdrop of the animated inbreds
gleefully chanting, “ Dundee’s Goin’ Bust!” They seemed more interested in this
rather than their own performance as, through some perverted Perth logic, the
worse we got – the more they hated us. Only a few hundred of the two thousand
odd Dees fans were left in the ground when we pulled it back to 7-2, but we
cheered the goal and ignored the rabble – why encourage them? What goes round,
comes round Mr. Cosgrove. By the way, I am reliably informed by Dees Down South
secretary Alan Kettles, that the Off the Ball man was a Tim at
school.
Talking of Perth, I had done some missionary work there in
the early 80’s as Secretary of the Constituency Labour Party (in the days of
0ld Labour), prior to moving to full time union work in London in 1984. Our
parliamentary candidate was an Aberdeen fanatic and I had been drinking with him
and a few other North East worthies in the Ladywell Before a Dees/Dons
game. It was shortly after segregation had been introduced, but we gleefully
ignored it and all went into the stand
A reporter from the Perth Advertiser who was not known for
his progressive views spotted us and asked me pointedly, “What are you doing in
the Aberdeen end Boyack? To which I replied, “ Never mind that, what are you
doing in a Socialist toon?”
He left the scene, pursued by loud laughter, but as was the
norm, the sheep dipped us 2-0. Nevertheless, we did manage the odd win at
Pittodrie in the eighties, particularly in cup competitions, although I remember
one year listening to a New Year commentary as we headed south after the
festivities. Going into the Tyne Tunnel the Dee were 2-1 up. Twenty minutes of
delays and lost reception later, we came out of the other end just in time to
hear that Aberdeen had gone 4-2 ahead. The air was pure azurri!
The only win against them at Dens came on Xmas Eve 1988,
when the Dee played out of their skins and T.C. slotted in both goals at the
Provy Road end. I remember after we got home, I initiated a jig round the
living room with my mother to the tune of, “Tommy Coyne – Tommy Coyne, Tommy
Coyne! Well how was I to know that we would not beat them at Dens again in the
league until 2003!
Yes Tommy Coyne and Keith Wright were some double act,
although Scottish football at this time was on a downward spiral.
Getting back to the wrong end syndrome, I remember a game
at Parkhead in the run up to Christmas 1983 when I’d been sitting an exam in
Glasgow and had got trapped in a grid locked Corpy bus on the way to Parkheid ;
I had got chatting to a couple of Celtic fans and, when we had rolled up ten
minutes late, they had dragged me into the Jungle, Dundee colours and all. As
it turned out, there was no hassle, but –of course, we lost 1-0 ; what would it
have been like if we had given them a cuffing?
Incidentally, there were only 15,000 at the game and it
makes you wonder where all the glory hunters have come from. Believe it or not
in the late 40’s and early 50’s, Dundee’s average home gate surpassed that of
Celtic on a couple of occasions.
One place which was normally a joy to visit was Dunfermline
; friendly fans, good pubs and decent stewards – pity about what was usually
happening on the park! When Scottish football largely succumbed to the long
ball pressure game in the 80’s, there were no more enthusiastic exponents of
this style than the Pars. They also had an ultra agricultural approach to
defending and I’ve seen Dundee kicked from one end of East End Park to the
other, with Doog Rougvie and Jimmy Nicholl blootering everything that moved, or
breathed.
Sticking in the gullet, were, two defeats early in the
89/90 season ; 2-1 in the opening league game and 1-0 in the League Cup.
Although at least these dire games were sandwiched by Keith Wright’s glory
hat-trick in the 4-3 win over the Dabs at Dens. Talking of Doog Rougvie, a mate
of mine who supports Chelsea tells a story from the early nineties about
Rougvie’s errors in losing the Blues a home cup game against Villa. The
accompanying song goes something like this –“ Two nil up in the cup, big Doug
Rougvie f’cukd it up!” Wish he’d done that against us!
Two other traditions were kept up in this period – we sold
player after player for sweetie money : Coyne, Brown, Fraser, Ferguson,
Wright, Dodds, McCann, Hendry, McKimmie, Mckinlay, Redford, Weighorst – c’mon –
who have I Missed ! Believe it or not the Jambos paid £300,000 for Tosh –
Hearts with money? Now that’s a novel idea.
The other tradition was educating my kids in the faith ; I
took our Claire up to Dens from around 88/89 and she was with me at the ’95
league cup final.. Ryan came along some years later and when the Liverpool F.C.
training in the community initiative visited his primary school recently (Mikey
Yates included), his was the only Dees shirt in a forest of L’pool and Man U
tops and he will insist to anyone that will listen that the Dees are best.
Blind faith – where would we be without it?
Andy Boyack
MAVERICKS, MARRS AND MAIR DESPAIR