Mystery Menagerie Theatre (6.561*10^27)^0.125 By Eslington "Something Unexpected" by Ivica F. "The Class Menagerie" is the property of Vince Suzukawa and other people that make money off it. No profit is being earned from this MiST and none is intended. All I want is C&C and maybe some fan art. (Hint hint) The various other webcomics mentioned in this strip are property of their respective owners. No profit is intended to be made off this MiST, but I'm sure they would like it if you took a look at their strips, which are linked at the end. "Something Unexpected" was written by Ivica Folnovic. Don't use it without his permission or you shall be frowned upon by both me and Ivica. This here MiST was written by me, Eslington (c) 2001. Distribute it as you wish but do not alter it without permission or I'll get miffed and rant about you on various Keenspot message boards for months. *** Clickclickclickclickclick. The sound was a familiar one to the ears of those who lived in the house. "Heh." Click. Clickclickclickclickclick. Clickclick. Indeed, the sound was familiar to quite a few people around the world, but it is the people who lived in the house that concern this narrative. "Hahaha..." Click. Clickclickclickclickclickclick. Clickclick. Makoto groaned as he sat up. This happened every now and then, usually on weekdays at six thirty AM. On weekends it was normally delayed until seven AM. "Tee hee hee..." Click. Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick. Click. Makoto climbed out of bed and walked over to the hook on his door where he kept his dressing gown. Putting it on, he turned to take a look at himself in the mirror. "Hmm..." Clickclickclickclickclick. Clickclickclick. As his light green eyes adjusted to the light, he was able to determine that his short brown hair was a bit messy. Running his fingers through it, he opened the door of his room and stepped into the corridor. "Huh? Oh... Heh." Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick. Clickclickclick. As Makoto walked down the corridor, another door opened and Angela stepped out. Angela's long black hair was a little more mussed than his, but she was still quite pretty. Angela stretched and rubbed her eyes, placing her round glasses on the bridge of her nose once she had finished. "Ha... No wait, that's not funny." Clickclickclickclickclickityclickclick. Clickclickclick Angela looked over at Makoto as her eyes adjusted to compensate for the lenses. She didn't mind waking up early in the morning, as she wasn't the sort who stayed up until after midnight, but the laughter and clicking did get on her nerves. She noted that Makoto looked quite tired, probably as a result of staying up all night to watch programmes the television networks couldn't show before eleven PM. "Heh-heehahaheh..." Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick. Click. Makoto and Angela walked down the corridor outside their rooms and descended the stairs. There, by the bottom of the stairs, was a door. It was normally closed so as to block out the irritating clicking and laughing noises, but today it had been carelessly left ajar. Angela sighed and pushed it open all the way. "Ahahaheheehahahah..." Clickclickclickclickclickclick. Clickclickclickclick. Behind the door was a study, decorated with dark purple wallpaper and blue carpeting. Against one wall was a desk with a computer on it. Seated at the desk was a young man with shoulder length brown hair. His eyes were staring at the screen as a web page downloaded onto it. A brightly coloured picture appeared on screen, and after a few seconds of staring, the man burst into laughter. "AH-HAHAHAHAHA!" "Webcomics again?" asked Angela. The man spun around in his swivel chair, turning to face Angela. "Yes, what of it?" he asked. "You left the door open again," said Angela, pointing to it. "Ah, sorry." "What's that you're reading, Eslington?" said Makoto. Eslington turned back to the screen. "It's called 'Unlike Minerva.' It's a comic strip about anthropomorphic animals working at a Vaudeville theatre," he explained. "It's got this cool cat-guy in it called Caleb." "Furries seem to be appearing in a lot of strips nowadays," noted Makoto. "Actually, about a quarter of the strips I read regularly feature anthropomorphics," said Eslington. "There's some really great characters out there." "I know," said Angela. "Actually, one of my favourite webcomic characters is an anthropomorphic wolf." "Oh? Who?" asked Makoto. "Florence Ambrose, from 'Freefall'," she answered. "She's an intelligent and kind engineer who acts as the voice of reason in a group of three characters." "Gosh, I wonder why you like her," said Makoto sarcastically. "Well who's your favourite?" asked Angela. "Zig Zag, from 'Sabrina Online.'" "Gosh," said Angela. "I wonder why." "Well she's friendly, affectionate, she has good business sense and large, round-" "Makoto..." said Eslington warningly. "I was going to say eyes, actually." "Yeah, right," said Eslington. "Well, what about you?" asked Angela. "Ah, my favourite's Kit from 'Acid Reflux'," said Eslington. "He's a were-fox who travels around with an adventuring party in search of... um... adventure I guess." "What was that comic strip I saw you reading yesterday?" asked Makoto. "The one with the cute dachshund in it?" "Oh, 'The Class Menagerie'?" said Eslington, typing in the web address. "Yeah, that one," said Makoto. "Actually, I think I read through this a while ago..." "I like this one," said Angela with a smile. "Great jokes, interesting characters-" "Occasional fanservice," added Makoto with a similar smile. "And lots of fanwork too," said Eslington, clicking a link on the webpage. "Actually, I've been thinking of MiSTing this fanfic." "'Something Unexpected'," said Angela, reading aloud from the screen. "Sounds like it might be worth a try." "What's it about?" asked Makoto. "Something unexpected," replied Eslington. "I see..." said Makoto. "Well, I think we should try it," said Angela. "Great," said Eslington. *** > "SOMETHING UNEXPECTED" Makoto: Boo! Eslington: Eek! Angela: Goodness, how unexpected. > > Written by Ivica F. Eslington: That's a really short surname. > CM and all of its parts are owned by Vince Suzukawa, Eslington: Even the parts other drinks do not reach? Angela: Now that was obscure... > and > have been used with permission. All original characters are my own. Angela: Let's just hope they are original... > I'd just like to say that this story has no (repeat NO) Makoto: No no no no no no no no no no... Yes. Angela: With apologies to those who can't watch the BBC. > effect on the CM > comic, and has been done independently. > Comments, suggestions and criticism? Send it in to me, Ivica Folnovic > Now on with the story. Eslington: It was a dark and stormy night... Angela: A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... Makoto: Tsubasa and Konatsu walked through the streets of Nerima, heading for the public bathhouse... > > > "Danged laces." Mikey grumbled as he knelt to tie his shoe. These shoes are > just falling apart, he thought, maybe its time for new ones. Or he could > just duct tape the laces onto the shoe, Eslington: Remember folks. Whether it's old shoes, loose warp engines or torn chair covers, duct tape will see you though any mechanical crisis. Angela: Unless your ducts are broken. In which case you're screwed. > and just wait it out. He chuckled > quietly to himself at the thought, and decided to schedule a little trip to > the mall as soon as a time slot could be found. > > Satisfied with the knot, Mikey would have rose to continue his morning jog, Makoto: Hey Rose! I'm feeling a bit tired, could you run around campus for me? Angela: No. > had not some unseen object crashed into his body. Eslington: Aliens! It must've been Kangaroo hating aliens! Angela: Somehow, I doubt it. > He laid stunned on the > sidewalk for a second or two. > > "Oh my! Excuse me!" Said a lovely feminine voice. A hand extended to the > kangaroo, and before he was hoisted up, he looked at the body attached to > the arm. Angela: Makoto... Makoto: What? I didn't say anything! Angela: But you were going to. I just know it. Makoto: ... Well you were right, I was going to say something, but now I've forgotten what it was. > > She was a lovely lupine, with everything seeming to be perfect, her body, > her face, everything. Angela: Body's okay, face is quite good, everything else is just window dressing. > Her face was blessed with a pair of hypnotic blue > eyes, which Mikey could not help but to fall deep into. Eslington: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *THUD* > Her tail was swaying > lightly, and just as hypnotically as her eyes. Makoto: Yeah, I notice that girls swaying their tails have that effect on me too. > She smiled. Perfect teeth > too. Eslington: My, what nice eyes you have. Angela: All the better to see you with. Eslington: And what a large tail you have. Angela: All the better to give you signals about my emotional state with. Eslington: And what sharp teeth you have. Angela: All the better to eat you with! Makoto: Already? But we only just met! Shouldn't we at least go on a date first? Angela: Makoto... > > "Sorry about that. Didn't see you. Angela: I was too busy being hypnotic, it's had to see past the whole swirly eyes thing you know. > Name's Laura Fishburn." The same hand > that brought Mikey to his feet shook his hand enthusiastically. > > "Michael Hopkins." He shook back, her eyes leaving him speechless. Eslington: How could he speak if he's speechless? Angela: It says he shook it back. He must be using some form of Morse code handshaking. > > "Yeah, I know." How? "My roommate- you know her? Name's Kris. Anyways, she > told me that I was just as loony as 'that Mike guy', jogging at this time." Makoto: Really? But it's only three in the morning! Angela: Yeah. Kris stays in bed until *SIX* you know. What a wuss. > > "And you just figured that 'that Mike guy' was me?" > > "Uh huh." She said, nodding at the same time. Angela: I wonder if she's using Morse code nodding... > > "I haven't seen you around. New here?" Mikey knew that it was pathetic small > talk, but he couldn't have her leave. > > "Yeah, I- we, my family- Eslington: Me, myself and I. > moved here. Dad got transferred. We lived in > Washington before. I didn't get a chance to register with any of the schools > up there, and so I'm here." Mikey listened intently to the responding small > talk. Maybe Laura didn't want to leave either. Angela: That or she's a chatterbox. > > A soft beeping suddenly interrupted the conversation. Laura looked up at her > watch and gasped. Makoto: CRAP! My briefcase nuke is going off in two minutes! I gotta go! > "Jeez. Listen Mike, I've gotta go. Something I promised my > roommate." > > "Well, maybe I'll see you 'round." > > "Hope so. I'll pay more attention next time." She laughed. "Bye." And with > that she was gone. Mike had little time to simply say "Bye." To the > retreating form's back. > > Mikey stood motionless for a few moments, and continued his daily routine. Eslington: Jog, study, exercise, study; repeat until dead. > Throughout the dawn, his mind would not stray from the lupine's face, and > the oh so deep blue eyes. > > > Scott was interrupted mid-stretch by the dorm room's door creaking in. His > roommate broke the protruding crack of light Angela: *SMASH!* Makoto: I told you to be careful about that Mikey, that's the third crack of light this week! Eslington: Sorry, sorry. Makoto: *Sigh* Dani's going to have a fit over this. > and stepped into the room. An > odd, out of place grin was on his face. Makoto: And an even more out-of-place grin was on his wrist. > > "Hey Mikey, what are you so happy about? Did you run an extra mile or > something?" The lizard joked. Eslington: Yes, actually. Want to hear about it? Makoto: Erm, no. > > "Or something. Met someone." The grin never faltered; it seemed to grow, as > if Mikey was remembering the person. He was. > > "You're kidding. Someone as insane as you to be up that early?" Eslington: Nope, I decided to bring the benefits of getting up early to people by knocking on their doors at 5AM and cheerfully helping them greet the day! > > "I don't see what's so insane about getting up at five and getting the day > started with." Scott could only laugh. He took a quick gaze at the bedside > clock revealed that the time was seven. > > "My fine marsupial, it's seven in the morning, and I can hardly stay > upright." Makoto: Oh, now this one's too easy. > He finished his stretch, as if to prove something and then dropped > back onto the bottom bunk. > > "Believe what you want to. I think its laziness." Was Mikey's response. > > "Tell Kevin that." > > "Many times." > > Scott sat up. "Tell me about this someone," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Is > she pretty?" Eslington: She's got hair all over her face, protruding fangs, no colour vision, large, pointy ears and a wet nose. Makoto: Wow, she sounds hot! > > Even the mention of 'she' seemed to have an effect on the kangaroo. "Yes, > she is," he said, his voice becoming dreamy, under a tone of sarcasm. "But I > only talked to her for a few seconds." > > "Does this lovely lady have a name?" Angela: Nope. She's just plain old girl #2654464. > > "Laura." That was it. Mikey just seemed to melt right there. > > "Laura..." Scott said, repeating it a few times in an attempt to jog his > memory. Eslington: That's not what I meant when I said you should start jogging in the morning... > "She's that new girl. Canine, right? Eslington: No, she's lupine. Makoto: Well if you want to get technical... Eslington: Which I do. Makoto: *Sigh* > Yeah. She's a floor down." > > Mike perked up. "How do you know that?" Scott could easily hear excitement > in his voice. > > "It pays to listen to the conversations of women, my boy." Makoto: And it's also a good idea to buy a glass for putting it next to the wall. > > "Well, thanks. That may prove helpful." Mikey was having a difficult time > hiding immense joy. His insides were going into Fourth of July mode. He > decided to end the conversation now, and went out of the room, after > grabbing his essential books and daytimer. > > Meanwhile, Scott's brain was scheming. Eslington: Heh heh... Soon I shall conquer the stomach and gain a controlling interest in the digestive system. Then I shall rule this body as king! NYAR-HAHAHA! > This was one of those things that > wasn't meant to be a secret. "And besides," he said aloud to no-one, "He > never said that it was to remain between just us." > > > "You've got to be kidding me!" Cried Kevin. His eyes were huge, and with the > grin on his face, he could have eaten a banana sideways. Angela: But he wouldn't. He had tried to do that two months ago and had learned not to the hard way. > "We're talking > about Mikey Hopkins, the I-don't-have-time-for-a-social-life Mikey?!" > > "One and the same." Replied Scott. His face had a large grin too, as did > everyone else in Room 303. > > "So what did he tell you?" asked Brad. > > "Nothing. If anything interesting happened, he didn't say." Eslington: Great! Rumour time! Makoto: Let's say he's dating Lisa. Eslington: No, how about he's dating Dani? Makoto: Hey, why not both? Angela: Because we're standing behind you. Makoto: Eep! > > "Him being attracted to someone is interesting enough." Laughed the feline. > > "Her name is Laura, she's that new girl, came in from Washington. He knew > less about her than I did. But he's hooked. I don't think I've ever seen him > that interested in anything, let alone a person." Eslington: I dunno, he seems quite interested in nagging... > > Tony, who had remained quiet the whole time (but still had a small smirk on > his face) finally spoke up. "Y'know, I think it's great. He needs something > to take his mind off of work. But I'm a little worried." > > "Bout what?" Asked Brad. > > "Lisa finding out..." > > > Laura was in her room, getting ready for the day. She stood in front of the > pre-supplied vanity, while her roommate Kris stood impatiently beside her. Makoto: I still can't believe the college gave us this vanity for free. Angela: It's a good thing they did, that avarice we needed was pretty expensive. > "Hey Kris, you know that Mike you told me about?" > > The ermine waited for a second. "Yeah. Did you meet him or something?" > > "Uh huh. Ran into him would be the correct way to put it." She took another > brush of her hair and continued. "You never mentioned that he's cute." > > Kris couldn't help but giggle. "You really think so?" Angela: Well, yeah. The guy looks like a plush toy. > > "You sound surprised." Laura glared at Kris sarcastically. > > "Well, you know, its not like he doesn't catch my eye either, but he's too > busy for anyone." > > "How can anyone be too busy for anyone?" > > "His schedule keeps him moving a full sixteen hours a day." > > "And the other eight?" Angela: He stops moving and starts studying. > > "He's a health freak. He spends those either sleeping or jogging. Did you > know that Lisa, she lives a couple doors down from him, has been trying to > get his attention since she's first laid eyes on him?" > > "And how has she fared?" Makoto: She charges five dollars for a piggy-back ride but for a quarter she'll drag you around by your ankle. > > "Not one date. He's just too detached." > > "We'll just see how detached Mr. Hopkins can be..." smirked Laura, a crafty > look leaping onto her lupine face. Eslington: That line sounds like foreshadowing for a really interesting murder some time in the future... > > > There was no way to describe how Lisa felt when Tony broke the news to her. Angela: Well, there is one or two, but they're unsuitable for a PG-13 audience. > One had to deal with it in layers. Makoto: Lisa, however, dealt with it with lawyers. Angela: Okay, Brad, ten kilos now and ten kilos more once the target is destroyed. Eslington: Murder may be illegal, but Ah'd have t'be mad to pass up twenty kilos of coffee beans. > She was filled with a kind of jealous > hatred, but even she knew that it was superficial. Deep down, she was glad > that Mikey might possibly return to reality. Deeper still, of course, she > wanted to rip his throat out, and Laura's too. And as deep as you could get, > she was disappointed. She was sad, to the point of being hurt that all her > attempts were for naught. At the least, she thought, Tony was the one that > told her. Had anyone else done it, someone would have likely lost an > internal organ. Angela: Fortunately for Tony, he only had to lose an external organ. Makoto: Unfortunately for Tony, it was his most valuable external organ. Eslington: NOOOOO! Not my antique Wurlitzer! Angela: Nice save. Eslington: Thanks. > > "I just don't know what to do." She said to Cindy. And it was true. For the > first time in a while, she felt lost. > > "You could just tell him how you feel." Was all that Cindy could say. Eslington: Lisa smiled. Whenever she was feeling down she could always rely on her old collection of action figures to cheer her up. She pulled the string again. Angela: Let's go shopping, and then we can bake a cake for our boyfriends! > > "Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him being attracted to someone. But he's > hardly acknowledged me all the time I've been here. He sees her for the > first time, and BOOM, Makoto: -The chemistry lab explodes and buries him under a ton of rubble. It's so unfair. > he's in love." > > "You don't think it's fair." > > "That's right." Lisa sighed. > > "Just go up to his room, and tell him. He'll understand. It'll probably get > a big load off your chest." > > Lisa nodded in agreement. She got up off her bed, and proceeded to 302. At > each step, she recited what she planned to say. Eslington: Thirty days hath September, April, June and November... Angela: How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics... Makoto: I'd like to thank my mom... and Elvis... and Jesus... > If it worked out that > nicely, she thought, I could get on with my life. > > She finally reached the door. She politely knocked, and was slightly > surprised that Mikey answered the door. She realized for some reason, she > didn't want to go on. But she did. > > "Lisa, hey, how're you doing? I was just getting some work done. Do you need > anything?" Mikey was no different, his words still a mile a minute, Angela: That's weird, most words would travel at least twelve miles a minute in air. > he was > still Mikey. > > "I need to talk to you." When she said this, Mikey sighed. She knew that he > knew what she wanted to say. > > "It's about Laura isn't it." > > "Yes." Makoto: Can't I keep a secret around here for one, single day? > > Mikey nodded and let her in. His voice seemed to change. Eslington: Mikey's still going through puberty? Well that explains why he still looks like a twelve-year-old. > It transformed from > the neutral, superficially caring sound to a more honest, regretful voice. > "I'm not sure what to say. I guess you're probably angry." Makoto: Damn right! Laura's mine! And don't you forget it! Angela: Makoto... Makoto: What? Vince suggested that idea himself in one of the strips. > > "A little." > > "It's strange. I can't explain it." > > "You don't need to. I hope she feels the same about you." Here it came. "But > I need to know why you've never... noticed me." Eslington: I did. Didn't you notice the screams of terror? > > The kangaroo sighed again. "I, I can't really explain it. I suppose that > I've noticed you, but I've always thought of you as- how am I going to put > this without sounding like a jerk? - Angela: As the bane of my existence. Eslington: As an ego-booster. Makoto: As a loyal minion. > As a friend. As someone who I could > trust, and have faith in. I like you. Don't think there's something wrong > with you, but, ah jeez, I simply can't explain it." Angela: Mikey, why did you just break characterisation and say "jeez"? Eslington: Well Gee-whillickers, Lisa, I just can't explain that one neither. > > "I guess I see you're point." Angela: No, I'm Mikey. That guy over there is point. > She did. He was just as confused as she was. > There wasn't more left to say. "Thanks for clearing it up." Lisa smiled. > > "Likewise. You've relieved me of a big burden. I was worrying about how you > would take it." He smiled back. > > "Thanks." She got up, and gave Mikey a quick, friendly kiss, and left. Lisa > walked back to her room, back to her own, light-hearted self again. Makoto: Now I've stopped chasing Mikey, I don't have to feel guilty about chasing Damon behind his back! Yay! > > ***The Next Day*** > > Mikey was once again having his morning jog. Today, however, he had his eyes > open, watching for any sign of Laura. He was so preoccupied with looking for > her that he crashed into her. > > "We've got to stop meeting like this." Said Laura, sucking in Mikey's > attention like a magnet. > > "Sorry." It was his turn to help her up, and he did so. "It's nice to meet > you again." He noticed that whenever she was around, he changed, becoming > slower, more deliberate. Angela: I thought running into her was too convenient to be an accident. > > "Same here." She smiled, "I couldn't get you off of my mind for some > reason." Eslington: Mikey allowed himself a quiet smile. His Neuro-imprinter was working well. > > "Me too." This was only partially true. Mikey never tried to get her out of > his mind. "I was wondering, what were you majoring in?" Let the worthless > small talk begin. Delay the question. > > "Biology. I'm also minoring in engineering. What about you?" > > "I'm triple majoring." Mikey noticed a change in Laura's facial expression. > Disbelief? Eslington: Disgust? Angela: Disillusionment? > "Physics, economics and music." Angela: Really now? Okay, what would be the macroeconomic effect of a new law requiring all guitar strings to vibrate at a frequency no higher than two hundred and fifty six hertz under penalty of death? Eslington: Well, that would mean higher notes would be unobtainable, rendering some songs unplayable, which would result in a fall in the supply of new music singles from America. This would cause bands and publishers to relocate abroad where no such laws exist where they could export their music to the consumers back in America, causing a the balance of payments to fall and the value of the dollar to fall. The fall in aggregate demand caused by the increase in music imports could cause a fall in the real income of the country depending upon whether the Keynesian model or the supply-side model applies to America. Angela: Okay, story checks out... > > "Music? Do you have any musical talents?" The face changed back, and a smile > was on her face. Angela: No. Of course I have no musical talents. I'm majoring in music just for the hell of it. > > "I sing. I can play the piano a little, Makoto: Can't act, can't dance, can play the piano a little. > but I haven't really gotten a chance > to do the latter." He could feel the question burning a hole in his tongue. Eslington: What is this thing burning my tongue? > > "No kidding. I took lessons when I was five. I personally prefer the > guitar." > > The question, angered at being held back, finally sprang out of Mikey's > lips. "Will you go out with me?" It seemed to shock him more than Laura, who Angela: -Slapped him silly. > was now wearing a grin on her face. > > "I was wondering if you'd ask that. Sure. When?" Something Mikey hadn't > planned on. > > "Uh, I don't know, how does Thursday night sound?" A negative look was her > response. "Friday?" Makoto: Mikey has free time? Eslington: Well, now I'm dating I'll have to cut back on having amusing adventures with Tony and Kevin. > > "Sure. See you at... shall we say six? I'll meet you outside the Hall's main > doors." She took a quick glance at her watch, and went off, waving goodbye. > Mikey waved back, knowing that she could not see him. Angela: I'm waving to someone who can't see me... Why am I so inefficient when I'm around her? Makoto: Love is never efficient. *Sighs wistfully* > > Friday. That gave him three days to get everything ready. Michael Hopkins, > who had never been on a date in his life, now had to learn everything > possible about the field in three days. > > Could be worse, he smiled, she could have agreed to Thursday. > > > Kevin was sitting at his computer, the latest in violent games bleeding > across the screen, when a knock came from the door. Eslington: Knock knock. Makoto: Who's there? Eslington: Mikey. Makoto: Mikey who? Eslington: Have you seen Mikey? I've locked myself out. Angela: That was just... Bad. > > "Tony? Would you get that?" No answer. Kevin smacked his forehead, > remembering that Tony left an hour ago (was it that long? And for what?). He > got up from his chair, and went to answer the now repetitive, rapid rapping Makoto: Why the hell did I buy this Eminem album anyway? It's not as if they don't play his stuff twenty-four hours a day on MTV. > (Every time I sit down and have fun...). > > The door opened to reveal Mikey, grinning and, for a second, still knocking > at the now empty space. "She said yes, and I need your help." > > It didn't take a med major, let alone an engineering major, to figure out > what Mikey was talking about. "So you've got a date. Why would you need > help? And more importantly, why me?" > > "I just figured that you would be the best one to turn to." Makoto: Asking a man who's never had a girlfriend for dating advice... Mikey must be losing it. Eslington: Nah, he'd lost it long before that. Angela: I doubt he ever had it. > > Kevin's ego decided to take control, hearing this. "I guess so." Was said > with slightly false modesty. The brain couldn't take it, and snatched > control back from the id, and Kevin was back to normal before anyone could > notice. "But what do you need me to tell you? There's a lot to know." > > "To put it simply, everything." > > A whistle escaped Kevin's lips. Makoto: Freedom! Hurray! > "That's a good amount. When's the date set?" > > "Friday, at six. I think I gave you ample time." > > "But how much have you dated." Kevin retorted. The kangaroo didn't reply. A > sheepish look was on his face, Eslington: Which made him look VERY Australian. > which gave Kevin the answer as easily as the > words. "So you can't really say you've given me a fair amount of time." > > "Yeah. I guess so. Well then, can you at the very least tell me the > necessities?" > > The feline stopped a moment, and instead of pondering the question, pondered > why Mikey's words slowed down when excited, instead of the opposite. All for > the better, I suppose, Kevin thought. "Come in and I'll see what I can do > for you." He led Mikey into the messy depths of his room, and sat down in > the still warm computer chair. Mikey took the bed. Makoto: Hey! Give that back! Eslington: Not a chance. I'm going to get you to exercise if I have to steal every bed, couch and futon on this floor! > > Kevin took a deep breath and began. > > Mikey could only regret not leaving more time in his schedule for this. > > ***Friday, AKA the Big Day*** > > > Mikey stood at the doors, waiting. His palms were heavily greased with > sweat, an incredibly large problem for someone with fur. She's just making > you nervous, floated Kevin's voice inside his head. Mikey took a look at his > watch. It wasn't even six. He would never make it that long. > > He was dressed, at Kevin's advice, casually, but not ratty. Eslington: More hamstery. > Clean long > jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, (new) shoes, etc. But the clothes did not help. > Really, none of Kevin's words helped. It simply made things more complex. > The end result left him more nervous than if he hadn't gone to him in the > first place. > > Mikey was leaning against the cold brick wall when his watched beeped, > informing him that it was six o'clock on the dot. Angela: And I'm cute at any time of the day. > And, like a ghost, Laura > was there. It gave Mikey chills, from both how eerie her sudden appearance > was, as well as her still stunning looks. She too was dressed casually, and > it made Mikey a little more confident. Just a little. As she talked to him, > he could only smile and move his head. > > "It's great to see you!" Nod. "Hope you haven't been waiting long." Shake. > "So what do you have planned?" No possible head movement for this one. Makoto: Oh yes there is. *Licks lips and winks* Angela: ¬_¬;;; > > "I really hadn't thought of anything." Not a lie. "Maybe just dinner and a > walk in the park..." He decided that trailing off would be the best way to > end the answer. Didn't sound to planned out, or to loose. > > Laura smiled. "Sounds great." Then she let out another question that Mikey > had to make a quick decision on: "Where?" > > Mikey's brain went into overdrive, Angela: Considering whose brain that is, this is probably a very scary thought. > trying to think of a good, inexpensive > restaurant before she realized he was flying blind. "Do you know that place > out by the gym?" Long shot. > > "No. I think I've heard about it. Place with the good milkshakes?" > > "Where do you get all this information from?" he answered, smiling right > back at Laura. > > "Kris doesn't know just names." Angela: She can colour in and count to ten as well. I'm ever so proud. > > > So there the two were. They sat in a small booth. All the while, Mikey's > head was filled with Kevin's voice, dictating what to do. Eslington: Go to the restaurant, steal the cash from the register, hide it under that bush in the park and then turn yourself in to the police. > Say this, don't > say that, act empathetic... Eslington: Your card is... The seven of diamonds! > now, etc. etc. etc. But he found it better just > to shut out his friend's voice. After all, the first thing Kevin said was > 'be yourself.' Makoto: Mind you, the second thing was "No, on second thought, be Tony instead. All the girls like him." > > "So you're really triple majoring?" She asked between bites of a massive > hamburger. > > "You heard right the first time." He was at the other side of the booth, a > simple salad sitting before him. Eslington: Two dollars for three slices of tomato? Next time I'm ordering something more complex. > > "I know. I can imagine double-majoring, I've thought about it myself, but a > triple seems like too much." > > "Really, it's no different than getting up at five and jogging, and you and > I both do that." Makoto: Oh really Mister Author? You think triple majoring is that simple, huh? That it's no more strenuous than setting your alarm early and doing a little running? Well let me tell you this. Triple majoring is a hellish experience, involving many hours of long, hard work, professors screaming at you for papers, total confusion over where to go and when to get there, and the never ending desire just to collapse and fall asleep. Triple majoring isn't easy. Eslington: Wow... I didn't know you triple majored. Makoto: Well, I haven't actually triple majored myself... Angela: Have you ever actually been to university? Makoto: Er... Let's get back to the fanfic. > A brief pause "You've got ketchup on your chin." > > Laura made a quick wipe. "Thanks. Seriously though, with your schedule, have > you had any fun recently?" > > "Does this date count?" Angela: No. And what's it doing in your salad? Makoto: Oh no, they've given me the fruit salad. *Sigh* Idiots. > From Laura's reaction (modest smile), Angela: *Shy smile* Eslington: *Confused smile* Makoto: *Predatory smile* > Mikey saw that > he said the right thing. To a degree, anyways. Take that, Kevin. "No, not > really, I guess. Tell me this though, what qualifies as fun?" Angela: Anything with a BA in Frivolity. > > "The usual. Clubbing, parties, movies. Makoto: Movies about the usual, clubbing partiers... > C'mon, don't tell me that with all of > the people you hang out with, you don't do any of that." Laura's expression > changed to more like one of disbelief. Moreso when Mikey replied: > > "And if I do tell you that?" > > Laura didn't respond. She sat in her seat for a second, and dropped a few > bills on the table. Eslington: Excusez-moi, Mademoiselle, aren't you supposed to be paying us? Makoto: Oh, that's just the charge for services rendered this restaurant. Eslington: ...eye candy, conversation piece, eavesdropper magnet, gossip spreading... Strip-o-gram? Makoto: Whoops! Wrong bill. Angela: Guys... > Then she grabbed Mikey by the arm and they promptly left > their half-eaten meals behind in the pursuit of Laura's idea of fun. Angela: Let's go STAMP COLLECTING! Eslington: For Michael Hopkins, the longest evening of his life was just about to begin. Makoto: Later, at Madame Vava-Voom's house of pleasure... Angela: Much later, at Eurodisney... Eslington: Much, much later, at Milliway's... > > > They stopped walking when they reached a small street corner. Eslington: Wow! Look at the angle between these streets! Angela: Yes, it's only five degrees and the smallest one in California. It's a big tourist attraction. > Although the > sun was still up in the sky, the sidewalk was bathed in the prismatic neon > glow from the sign. Looking up at the sign, Mikey was blinded by the > brilliant lights, and couldn't read it before he was dragged into its much > darker innards. Eslington: I wonder what that sign said... Makoto: Probably something like "WARNING: Do not try to read this sign." > > Inside, the sounds were as loud as the colors outside were bright. Eslington: If it's a disco club, the clothes will be even louder. > A > bass-heavy, techno beat played while a variety of people danced to it. > Offside there was a bar, and some tables set around the dance floor. > > Laura, still holding tight to Mikey's wrist, began to drag him onto the > dance floor. "Don't tell me you don't dance either." Makoto: I told you earlier: "Can't act, can't dance, can play the piano a little." Weren't you listening? > > "It's not that I don't, it's that I can't!" Mikey pleaded, silently cursing > the zero-traction of his shoes on the floor. > > Laura's unending, mischievous smile only replied: "Everybody has to learn > sometime." > > Unable to come up with a good defense, Mikey was brought onto the > multicolor-lighted dance floor. The music changed from a rabid, techno beat > to a slow dance. Laura got close to the shaking, nervous marsupial and began > to show him basic steps. > > "I know you're a natural athlete, so timing is easy for you. Just keep your > feet close to mine." A few moments later, she continued. "Close, not on... > Okay, better." She continued giving pointers, and soon Mikey's natural > learning talent had enough. He was dancing as if he had always known how. Anglea: Hmm... We haven't had anything amusing to say for the last few paragraphs, have we? Eslington: Maybe we should make a joke about the music or something... Makoto: Okay. o/~ Young man! There's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town. There's no need to be unhappy. o/~ Eslington: On second thoughts, maybe we should just leave it unriffed... Makoto: o/~ Young man, there's a place you can go. I said, young man, when you're short on your dough. o/~ Eslington: I said we should stop that. Makoto: o/~ You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find. o/~ Angela: Stop singing that. It's getting on my nerves. Makoto: o/~ Many ways to have a good time. o/~ Eslington: Quit it! Makoto: o/~ It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.! o/~ Angela: Just stop it, please! Makoto: o/~ They have everything for young men to enjoy. o/~ Eslington: Have mercy! Makoto: o/~ You can hang out- o/~ Angela: If you don't stop singing, I'll jab you in the eye with this screwdriver. Makoto: Oh, okay. > > The song ended, and yet another repetitive electronica tune began its > unending rhythm. Rather than continue teaching, she dragged him back off. > His resistance was just as strong as before. > "I've been told that women's minds are impregnable," she started, "but I > can't imagine something more complex to understand than you." > > "Well, now I'm enjoying myself." Was the reply. The speaker was now smiling. Eslington: Laura only started to worry when the dance floor started singing. Angela: Whoa. What was in that burger? > Laura smiled back "Do you want to keep dancing?" > > Suddenly, for no reason, Kevin began to creep back. Once again Mikey > couldn't decide what to do. The voices, the voices. If you continue, you'll > end up making a fool of yourself. If you don't she'll think you're no fun. Makoto: The voices! The terrible unending chattering voices! Make it stop! BY GOD MAKE IT STOP! Eslington: It was then that Laura realised that she probably wasn't going to get that romantic walk in the park she was hoping for. > Take your pick. He would have frozen up entirely had not Laura given him the > suggestion. > > "How about that walk?" > > Mikey nodded, thanking God that he didn't have to answer. Whatever it would > have been, he thought, it wouldn't have been gracefully done. The two got up > and left the club as quickly as they had entered it. > > > Dusk was beginning to at last seize the day, Eslington: Wahoo! Ah gots me a Friday! Angela: Hey, no fair! I was here first! Makoto: Dibs on Tuesday! > but it made no difference to > Mikey. For once he had slowed down. On the other hand, it wasn't very kind > to just jog the last leg of the date. Inside the park (a favorite place of > Laura's- she had suggested it), there was a minute, perfect lake. Makoto: C'mon! We've only got sixty seconds before this thing dries up! Angela: That's... Um... "Minute" I suppose... > The sun > gave a wonderful golden sheen to it, and Mikey could only wonder how he > could not bother with things this nice. And to add a cherry to the top of > his euphoria, he and Laura were walking hand in hand. > > It was true that Kevin still plagued his mind, but everything clicked into > place, and the constant, confusing voice took backseat in Mikey's current > state of mind. Makoto: Which, coincidentally, was currently occupied with thoughts about him and Laura in the backseat of- Eslington: Makoto... > > "Lovely." His awestruck vocabulary was quite limited at this time, but the > word summed it up nicely. > > "You think so?" > > Mikey nodded softly. "I'd want to thank you for the good time. Makoto: But that would be sweet and therefore bad for my health. > I don't do > this much." Never. "Thanks." > > "I've had fun too. We should do this again." Eslington: Yes, doing this is fun. Angela: I really like doing this. Eslington: I never thought this could be so much fun. Angela: Really? Then you've really been missing out. Why some of my best memories are of times when I've been doing this. Eslington: Erm... What is this again? Angela: I... I don't know. I assumed you knew. > > Mikey took no time in deciding whether or not to agree. And they continued > to walk in the park, watching the sun go down. Makoto: Actually, the sun isn't going down. It just seems to be doing so because California's currently being turned away from it. Angela: *Sigh* I won't go out with you if you're going to be pedantic. > Anxious thoughts of another > date flew through Mikey's head, Eslington: That last one was really tasty... I wonder if the grocery store's still open. > shoving out the last remnants of Kevin. Makoto: Sad, isn't it? He goes out with a girl like Laura and he spends the whole date thinking about Kevin. > > Th'end. Angela: What a strange ending. Makoto: I guess the author's never read 'Bob the Angry Flower'... > > Author's Notes: Yeah, it may be pointless, but it should help clear things > up. > 1. I'd like to stress again that this has NO effect on the strip. Laura will > not make any appearances there. Eslington: Ivica was later proved wrong when Laura appeared in a strip as "Miscellaneous girl #2654464". > 2. That's another thing. Laura's name may seem odd. That's because it's too > close to actor Lawrence Fishburne's name. This is coincidental, since I > decided on a first name (inspired by looking through old PC Games magazines- > figure it out), Eslington: Well, it could've easily been worse, at least she wasn't called Tanya Adams or something... > and her last name just 'popped.' I have no wish to change > it. > 3. I'm sorry if you read this expecting Shakespeare. I'm not quite at that > level yet. Sorry for any disappointment. Makoto: Hey, I sat through this hoping to see everyone getting killed at the end. Of course I'm disappointed! > 4. I'm only a high school student, so anything I mess up is because I'm > clueless about college (there's a name of a support group for you). If you > have any corrections or points to make, send them in by all means. I would > truly appreciate it. > 5. Please please please! Eslington: Huh? Makoto: Maybe he's politely asking us to make some guy called Please happy. > Send in comments! I need to know! Angela: Need to know what? Makoto: Yeah, we need to know what you need to know. Eslington: I'm afraid that's on a need to know basis. > You can be > critical, but at the least I'd also like to request no flames. > 6. The ending is kinda corny I'll admit, but romance isn't really my thing > (my dating skills are at the same level as Mikey's FYI). > 7. And finally, thanks to Vince, Telus (my ISP), Microsoft (for IE4 and > Word, which this is typed upon), Furnation (for hosting CM) and you, for > actually reading this far :) > Ivica F. > > > Angela: Looks like it's over. *** "Well, that wasn't bad," said Eslington. "Yes, a few grammar mistakes and a little mischaracterisation, but mostly okay," said Angela. "I liked it," said Makoto. "It was sweet, somewhat funny in places and should anyone ever want to write a sequel about the second date where Mikey and Laura have wild, passionate-" "Makoto..." "Speaking of writing," said Eslington. "I'm going to write something in response to this." "One with Mikey and Laura in the backseat of-" "No." "Aw..." "But that's been done," said Angela. "Someone wrote a fic called 'Something REALLY Unexpected' where Mikey gets a boyfriend." "I know that," said Eslington. "Now, I'm not a good enough writer to do something as good as that fic, so to compensate, I'm going to write several mediocre fanfics!" "You've been doing that for two years," pointed out Makoto. "Anyway," said Eslington, ignoring Makoto, "we begin with..." *** Something Expected. By Eslington. Another bright, sunny morning at DeMontfort university. Mikey was returning from his early morning jog around campus, ready to get in a good long morning of study before his five-minute lunch break. In the bushes beside the entrance to Richter Hall, Lisa shifted slightly, watching Mikey as he proceeded along the path. She crouched, ready to strike once Mikey jogged past her. Mikey continued along the path adjusting the volume control on his personal stereo. Lisa waited for the right moment and then, with a war cry of "KYOOOOOOOOOT!" pounced at the kangaroo. At the last moment, Mikey came to a sudden stop, avoiding Lisa's pounce. Lisa landed flat on her face at Mikey's feet with a painful sounding thud. She groaned and looked up to see him, looking down at her with a smirk on his face. "You're getting predictable, Lisa," he said. "I'd clean myself up before classes start if I were you." And with that, Mikey stepped over Lisa and jogged through the doors of Richter Hall. THE END. *** "Good, huh?" said Eslington. "Mediocre, as promised," said Angela. "Hmph. Well maybe you'll like this one." *** Something No One Expects. By Eslington. Mikey jogged down the path, humming a few bars of a song he had heard earlier in music class. He mentally identified and catalogued each individual note, preparing for the class tomorrow, where he would play the tune on the grand piano, hopefully earning him a fairly good grade for his efforts. "Hey, Mikey!" Turning his head towards the voice, Mikey saw Scott standing on the side of the path, waving to him. Mikey jogged over to him. "Yes? What is it?" asked Mikey, jogging on the spot while he waited impatiently for Scott's answer. "I've got a message for you, something your Music teacher wanted me to tell you." "What is it then?" asked Mikey. "Let's see... The piece you're supposed to practice has been changed to one of the lesser known works of the classical era. It's... er..." "Yes?" "I think it's called... 'The Spanish Inquisition.'" Mikey stopped jogging and blinked. "I wasn't expecting 'The Spanish Inquisition.' In fact I don't think-" Suddenly a familiar vixen leapt from the bushes and grabbed Mikey from behind, pinning his arms to his side. Two other people dressed in red robes stepped out from the bushes by the path, one recognisable as Tony and the other as Kevin. "No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" declared Kevin, grinning madly. "What's going on?" demanded Mikey. "Why are you dressed like that?" "Well me, Tony, Kevin and Lisa were watching a Monty Python Marathon on TV last night," said Scott. "We thought this would be funny." "Further proof that too much television is bad for you," noted Mikey, struggling against the affectionate but tight hold of Lisa. "Silence infidel!" cried Kevin. "Or we shall be forced to torture you!" "With what?" asked Mikey curiously. Kevin responded with a grin, obviously enjoying himself far too much. "Cardinal Tony, bring me... THE COMFY CHAIR!" Tony nodded and walked into the bushes, and returned dragging a small, but plush armchair, complete with fluffy cushions. "Aaah!" cried Mikey. "Anything but that! Comfort leads to laziness! AAAAH!" "Now," began Kevin. "You shall stay in the comfy chair until lunchtime, with only a cup of coffee at eleven!" "No! No! Anything but that!" cried Mikey finally managing to break free from Lisa. "NEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrr!" he shouted as he ran off, his voice fading in the distance. "I think we went a little too far," said Tony. "I suppose we should have expected this," said Scott. *** "That's it," said Angela. "I'm going back to bed. I've had enough fanfiction for today. "But I'm only just getting started!" said Eslington. "There's plenty of other jokes about expecting stuff I can use." "All the more reason to leave now," said Angela, as she walked out the door. "I'm glad to see you're still here," said Eslington, smiling at Makoto. "Actually, if you'll let me sit down for a few minutes, I could write something a lot of people really want to see..." "I don't think Vince would give you permission to write that sort of fanfic..." "Hey, it's nothing like that," said Makoto. "It's suitable for all ages in fact." "Oh okay," said Eslington, standing up from the chair. "Go ahead." "Thanks," said Makoto as he sat down and began typing. *** Something I Expect Most of You Have Been Waiting For. By Makoto. THE END *** Author's notes: Well, this was fun. Which is why I did it of course. This fic was brought to my attention by the announcement of the year 2000 version of "Something REALLY Unexpected" and a few riffs popped into my head right there and I decided it would be fun to MiST. It was a little tough in places and I put off finishing it for way too long... But now it's done and I hope you all like it. ^_^ Send C&C, fan art and directions to the lost valley of the catpeople to Eslington@bigfoot.com My other MiSTings (Most of which are of Ranma 1/2 fanfics) can be found here: http://members.tripod.co.uk/Eslington/ Credit where credit is due: Vince Suzukawa came up with the comic strip "The Class Menagerie", and it's a good thing he did, as it's quite amusing. "Something Unexpected" was written by Ivica Folnovic, who also gave me permission to do this, which was nice of him. This was pre-read by my good friends Stephica and Candace and some guy I met on the Class Menagerie message board called Timber Bram. I would like to thank all three of them for being so nice and sorting out my lousy grammar and spelling. Ahem. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Webcomics mentioned in this MiST: "The Class Menagerie" is a strip you're probably familiar with if you're reading this. If not, it's a really good strip about college roommates and the hilarious events that inevitably happen when you put a large number of college students in close proximity to each other. Updated on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. http://www.theclassm.com "Unlike Minerva" is an amusing strip based around characters working in a vaudeville theatre. A lot of artists work on this strip, meaning the art style changes quite a lot, which is quite interesting. Updated on weekdays. http://www.unlikeminerva.com Florence Ambrose is from "Freefall", a great sci-fi strip about a scarf-wearing alien, a robot and a lupine engineer. Updated Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. http://www.purrsia.com/freefall Zig Zag appears in "Sabrina Online", another great comic about life, Amigas, transformer toys and roommates. Updated monthly. http://www.sabrina-online.com Zig Zag was created by Max Black Rabbit. A talented artist who doesn't have a regularly updated comic strip, but does have a neato furry gallery. http://www.furnation.com/black_rabbit Kit appears in "Acid Reflux", a fun and amusing strip about medieval adventuring and keeping the universe running. Updated daily. http://www.acidrefluxcomic.com "Bob the Angry Flower" is a strip about an angry flower named Bob. That's probably the most constant theme of it, aside from the theme of amusing non-serial (Well, most of them are non-serial...) comic strips. Updated every Friday. http://www.angryflower.com A big thank you to all the authors of these strips for letting me mention them. Visit their sites. I did, and look how amused I am.