"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in the living room and tell me about it."
Little girl asked her Mom,
"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your Father.
I think he's in the garage."
Little girl goes to the garage and says,
"Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block.
I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat,
and that I should ask you".
Dad said, "Bring Susie over here."
He took a rag, soaked it with petrol,
and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said,
"Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash
and only go one time around the block."
Little girl left and returned a few minutes later
with no dog on the leash.
Dad said, "Where's Susie?"
Little girl said, "I think Susie ran out of petrol about
halfway down the block, and there's another
dog pushing her home."
(from Jim S)
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Maths Problem
A teacher was helping her students with a math problem.
She recited the following story: "There are three birds sitting on a wire.
A gunman shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?"
A boy pauses. "None," he replied thoughtfully.
"No, no, no, let's try again," the teacher says patiently.
She holds up three fingers.
"There are three birds sitting on a wire. A gunman shoots one," she puts down one finger, "how many birds are left on the wire?"
"None," the boy says with authority.
The teacher sighs. "Tell me how you came up with that."
"It's simple, says the boy, "after the gunman shot one bird, he scared the other two away."
"Well," she says, "it's not technically correct, but I like the way you think."
"Okay," chimes the boy, "now let me ask you a question.
There are three women sitting on a bench eating Popsicle's.
One woman is licking the Popsicle, one woman is biting the Popsicle, and one is sucking the Popsicle.
Which one is married?" he asked innocently.
The teacher looked at the boy's angelic face and writhed in agony, turning three shades of red.
"C'mon," the boy said impatiently, "one is licking the Popsicle, one is biting and one is sucking.
Which one is married?"
"Well," she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, "the one who's sucking?"
"No," the boy says with surprise, "the one with the wedding ring on. But I like the way you think."
(from Gurg)
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