Are you listening to me!?
Too late, you're dead
Be romantic, turn out the lights
I have flabby thighs
Do what you want
You'll pay for this later
Do you like this recipe?
It's easy to cook, so you'd better get used to it
Do you love me?
I'm going to ask for something expensive
Hang the picture there
NO, I mean hang it there!
How much do you love me?
I did something today you're really NOT going to like
I heard a noise
I noticed you were almost asleep
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I need wedding shoes
The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
I want new curtains
and carpets...
and furniture...
and wallpaper.....
I'll be ready in a minute
Kick off your shoes and watch the TV
I'm not emotional!
And I'm not over reacting!
I've got my period
I'm not upset
Of course I'm upset, you moron!
I'm not shouting!
Of course I'm shouting because I think this is important
I'm sorry
You'll be sorry
Have I got a fat bum?
Tell me I'm beautiful
It's your decision
The correct decision should be obvious by now
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Maybe
No
No - No
Sure...
Go ahead
Don't you dare!
This kitchen is so inconvenient
I want a new house
Was that the baby?
Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
We need to talk
I need to complain
We need
I want
Yes - No
You have to learn to communicate
Just agree with me
You're ...
so manly
You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight
Is sex all you ever think about?
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When asked - she means
What's wrong?
Everything
(My PMS is acting up)
What's wrong?
I don't want to talk about it
(Go away, I'm still building up steam)
What's wrong?
Nothing, really
(It's just that you're such a pain in the arse)
What's wrong?
Nothing
(Everything)
What's wrong?
The same old thing
(Nothing)
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Drink to her only?
A man is drinking beers at the bar and every time he finishes a beer
he pulls out a picture, looks at it, then puts it back in his pocket
and orders another beer.
The guy sitting next to him watches this for about an hour then asks
"Is that your wife?"
The man answers "Yes"
"Well did she just pass away?
You look very depressed."
The guy enquires.
"No, it's just that when she starts looking good to me,"
the man replies
"I know I'm drunk enough to go home."
(from JP)
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In the Garden
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.
He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes; she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God: "What will a woman like this cost?"
God said, "arm and a leg."
Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
The rest is history.
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