Mommy, Mommy!! I'm getting dizzy!
Shut up son, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! ! When is the pool going to be ready?
Shut up son and keep spitting.

Mommy, Mommy! ! When is the pool going to be ready?
Shut up son and keep pissing.

Mommy, Mommy!! Am I done with my bath yet?
Shut up son or I'll flush you down.

Mommy, Mommy!! Are you sure this is the right way to cook Peking Duck?"
Shut up and close the microwave oven door behind you.

Mommy, Mommy!! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?
Shut up son and get back in the oven.

Mommy, Mommy!! can I have a bike for Christmas?
Shut up son, you already have your wheelchair.

Mommy, Mommy!! Can I have tomato soup!
Shut up son, you know we can only have it once a month.

Mommy, Mommy!! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.

Mommy, Mommy!! Can I play with grandma?
Not today son, you've already dug her up three times this week.

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy fell in the campfire!
Shut up son and get the barbecue sauce.

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy just threw up all over the kitchen table!
So what son!
Sister's getting all the big pieces!

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy went through the meat grinder!
Shut up son, you're the one who wanted hamburgers!

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up son and get the marshmallows!

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up son and accelerate!

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Mommy, Mommy!! Grandma's got a bruise!
Shut up son and eat around it.

Mommy, Mommy!! Helen got run over by a steamroller!
Shut up son I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the door, and don't forget the maple syrup.

Mommy, Mommy!! How come sister gets to watch TV and I can't?
Shut up son or I'll cut your ears off, too!

Mommy, Mommy!! I can't breathe!
Good son, it's working.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't like shark fishing!
Shut up son and stop squirming.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea soup!
Shut up son, I'm too busy to pour Grandpa's vomit through a sieve.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want a cookie!
Shut up son and open your mouth, I'm busting for a dunk.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want my hair braided!
Shut up son and lift the other arm.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to empty the compost heap!
Shut up son and keep eating.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to holiday in Africa!
Shut up son and put your other foot in the CARE package!

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to see Niagara falls!
Shut up and get back in the barrel!

Mommy, Mommy!! I hate Daddy's guts!
Well push them aside and eat your vegetables.

Mommy, Mommy!! I just sucked Daddy cock and it tastes like shit!
Well son, your little brother does have diarrhoea.

Mommy, Mommy!! I like my brother very much.
All right son, you can have another slice.

Mommy, Mommy!! I want to play with uncle Harry!
Shut up and close the coffin!

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Mommy, Mommy!! Is this the way to make pickles?
Shut up son and get back in the barrel!

Mommy, Mommy!! It's cold and dark and damp down here!
Shut up son or I'll flush it again.

Mommy, Mommy!! Jimmy is biting grandma's nail!
Stop it Jimmy, or I am closing the coffin lid.

Mommy, Mommy!! My bottoms sore!
Shut up son we need the money.

Mommy, Mommy!! My head hurts!
Shut up son and lift the dart board higher!

Mommy, Mommy!! My teacher says my head is too big!
Shut up son and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in.

Mommy, Mommy!! The milk man's here
Have you got the money or do you want me to go out and play?

Mommy, Mommy!! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
Shut up son and comb your face.

Mommy, Mommy!! There's something in Daddy's eye!
Shut up son and eat around it.

Mommy, Mommy!! What am I gonna be when I grow up?
Nothing, dear. You know you have AIDS!

Mommy, Mommy!! What happened to all your scabs?
Shut up son and eat your cornflakes!

Mommy, Mommy!! what is incest?
Shut up son and keep licking.

Mommy, Mommy!! What's a delinquent child?
Shut up son and light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

Mommy, Mommy!! What's a delinquent child?
Shut up son and pass me the crowbar.

Mommy, Mommy!! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up son and help me get Grandma off the doorknob!

Mommy, Mommy!! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up son and keep humping!

Mommy, Mommy!! What's an orgasm?
Shut up son and hump faster, you'll soon find out.

Mommy, Mommy!! What's for dinner?
Shut up son and get back in the oven.

Mommy, Mommy!! What's oral sex?
Mmmmrmmph mmhhh mmrph mmrph mmhhh.

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Mommy, Mommy!! When are we going to have Aunt Ruth for dinner?
Shut up son, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.

Mommy, Mommy!! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Shut up son, you know that grandma's cured from her yeast infection.

Mommy, Mommy!! Who will I stay with while you are gone?
Grandma Dear, now get in the coffin.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why are we celebrating Christmas in August?
Shut up son, you know you have cancer.

Mommy, Mommy!! why are you moaning?
Shut up son and keep licking.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why can't I play with the other kids?
Shut up son and deal.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why can't we give Daddy a decent burial?
Shut up son and keep flushing.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Shut up son or I'll chop off the other leg!

Mommy, Mommy!! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why do they call me spastic at school?
Shut up son and take your legs out your pockets.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why does Daddy have his cock in the biscuit jar?
Ignore him son, he's fucking crackers.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why does Daddy's cock taste so bad?
Shut up son and give your sister another tampon.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs?
You will when you're older, Annie!

Mommy, Mommy!! Why is Daddy bent over and crying?
Shut up son and eat your hot dog!

Mommy, Mommy!! Why is Daddy so pale?
Shut up son and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy!! Why is everybody running away?
Shut up son and reload.

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Mommy, Mommy!! are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Shut up son and get back in the sack!

Mommy, Mommy!! can I have a cookie?
Yes son, the cookies are on the top shelf.
But Mommy, I haven't got any arms!
No arms, no cookie son.

Mommy, Mommy!! can I lick the bowl?
Shut up son and flush the toilet like all the other kids.

Mommy, Mommy!! Can I play marbles now!
Shut up son, you can't use Grandpa's glass eye today!

Mommy, Mommy!! can I wear a bra now? I'm 14!
Shut up Johnny.

Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy's going out!
Shut up son and pour some more petrol on him.

Mommy, Mommy!! dad's been run over in the street!
Shut up son and don't make me laugh; you know my lips are chapped.

Mommy, Mommy!! do we have to have hamburger?
Shut up son and keep your hand in the meat grinder.

Mommy, Mommy!! how far is America?
Shut up son and keep rowing.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't like red and blue spaghetti!
Shut up son or I'll rip the veins out of your other arm.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to be a Daddy!
Shut up son and get into bed.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to go to China!
Shut up son and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to go to England!
Shut up son and keep swimming.

Mommy, Mommy!! I don't want to see grandma!
Shut up son and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy!! the kids at school call me a werewolf!
Shut up son and go brush your face.

Mommy, Mommy!! what does "Horny" mean?
Shut up son and help me get off the gear lever.

Mommy, Mommy!! what happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up son and eat your meat loaf.

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Mommy, Mommy!! what's a vampire?
Shut up son and eat your soup before it clots.

Mommy, Mommy!! why am I running around in circles?
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mommy, Mommy!! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?
Shut up son or you'll wake your father.

Mommy, Mommy!! why is Daddy running so fast?
Shut up son and reload.

Mommy, Mommy!, I don't like the milk!
Shut up son and keep on sucking my nipple.

Mummy, Mummy! Annie won't come skipping with me!
Don't be cruel son, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

Mummy, Mummy! Everyone at school calls me a pansy.
Don't worry dear, just hit them over the head with your handbag.

Daddy, Daddy! What is a paedophiles?
Shut up son, and keep licking my balls.

Daddy, Daddy! What's a poof?
Shut up son and unhook my bra.

Daddy, Daddy! What's a pervert?
Shut up son and keep sucking.

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