July 28th, 2001
Welcome Centre, Pitsea, Essex
Attendance: 2,350
TV rating: 3.5
(Flashing lights illuminate the entrance way and the ring as loud music blasts through Pitsea’s Welcome Centre. The crowd respond with deafening cheers – Saturday Fight Night is on air and Hammerlock has returned to Sky Sports! Chris Freeman and Adam Wheeler are seated at ringside.)
Chris Freeman: Hello everyone and welcome to
Pitsea here in Essex…Hammerlock is BACK!!!
(The camera sweeps around the jam-packed crowd.)
CF: After a one week absence from your screens due
to the mind-numbing yawnfest that is the Copa America…
Adam Wheeler: The what?
CF: Copa America. It’s a football tournament. You
know, real football. Not that American crap.
AW: Well, who’s gonna win?
CF: The final is between Colombia and Mexico,
which you can watch live on Sky Sports Extra this Sunday night at 7pm!
AW: That was the cheapest plug of all time. Hey,
why don’t you sell this show as well as you did the Copa final?
CF: I don’t need to sell this show, the wrestlers
do it all by themselves with wonderful athleticism and natural ability, the
like of which you can only see right here in Hammerlock. Ladies and gentlemen,
we do have some huge news to bring you as regards the Heatwave card. Last time
we were with you, Ben Winter and Byson brawled to a double count-out in a World
Championship number one contenders match. Now rather than go through the whole
process of booking another bout between the warriors, the championship
committee have decided to grant both men a shot at the gold, which means that
at Heatwave on August 5th, Hiro Kakuhari will defend the World
Heavyweight Championship against both Byson and Winter in a Triangle Match!
AW: That’s a major decision, but I doubt very
seriously that it will sit well with Kakuhari, who injured his neck on our last
show. He’ll be sidelined until Heatwave, and he now has two opponents to
prepare for!
CF: Let’s go straight to the ring, where two
American kids fresh out of Hammerlock’s wrestling school, Brandon Alvarez and
Kyle Coulbourne, take on the devious Bodysnatchers.
AW: You know, I really hate pretty boy tag teams,
but these youngsters have potential in abundance. I hope that Burke and Blair
don’t underestimate them, or they are in for a shock!
The New Young Lions defeated The Bodysnatchers
when Alvarez pinned Burke after
an Asai moonsault in 0:18:25.
Rating: * 3/4
CF: He got him! What an upset!
AW: I can’t believe that! These young kids didn’t
appear overawed by the occasion, and they’ve ended up scoring the biggest win
of their careers!
Post-match:
(Brandon Alvarez and Kyle Coulbourne are ecstatic
after their huge victory and start to celebrate, when The Bodysnatchers attack
them from behind. Burke stomps away at their fallen opponents while Blair goes
to the outside and pulls two bodybags out from underneath the ring. The
Bodysnatchers try to stuff the two rookies into the bodybags, but a chair-wielding
Ian Powers intervenes and chases Burke and Blair from the ring. Powers then
helps Alvarez and Coulbourne to their feet and raises their arms in victory as
the crowd gives them a nice reception.)
CF: Thank goodness Powers came out here to make the
save.
AW: Whaddya mean?! It was just getting to the good
part!
CF: A very impressive debut there by Brandon
Alvarez and Kyle Coulbourne here on Saturday Fight Night, despite The
Bodysnatchers’ bad sportsmanship. Up next here tonight, M.J., who faces Steve
Bailey at Heatwave, battles the “Female Fighting Phenom” Valkyrie.
AW: Yeah, the broad that injured our champion. Why
is she even being allowed back in the ring? She’s a liability.
M.J. interview.
(M.J. makes his way out from the back with an
arrogant swagger. He gets in the ring and takes the microphone.)
M.J.: Steve Bailey, in just eight days time I’m
going to show the whole world that I am better than you. Everyone already knows
it, I just want to make it official.
AW: I’ve never seen M.J. this confident before.
CF: That’s true. I’m sure he’s up to something.
M.J.: Tonight however, I’m going to prove that
when it comes to pure athletic ability, Valkyrie, and all other women, are NOT
in my league. But don’t feel so bad sweetheart. Maybe after this match you can
take a trip down to my fitness centre and I could give you The Rub Down…
(“Flight of the Valkyrie” hits and Valkyrie
sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring to a huge pop. She attacks M.J.
and the bell sounds.)
AW: Was it something he said?
CF: You think?! That was no way to talk to a lady!
AW: I thought he was talking to Valkyrie…
M.J. made Valkyrie submit to the Total Body
Workout in 0:10:55.
Rating: **
AW: M.J. picks up the win, and I think Valkyrie is
unconscious…
CF: And he’s not letting go of the hold. Come on,
let’s get some help out here!
Post-match:
(M.J. keeps Valkyrie locked in the Total Body
Workout and refuses to let go, despite the pleading of several officials.
Suddenly, Steve Bailey hits the ring for the save, clotheslining M.J. in the
back of the head and grounding him. Bailey stomps away at the fitness expert
until Society Bites run in and blindside Bailey. The NWA-UK Tag Team Champions
dish out a beating to Bailey as Big Poppa Pete shouts encouragement to them.
Luke Champion then runs down to the ring and evens the odds. The scheduled Tag
Team Title match gets underway with the crowd going absolutely crazy.)
CF: Here we go! Tag Team Titles on the line!
Steve Bailey and Luke Champion defeated Society
Bites when Bailey defeated
Bradley by disqualification in 0:03:05.
Rating: 1/4*
(Society Bites retained the NWA-UK World Tag
Team Titles.)
CF: I cannot believe this! A cheap disqualification makes sure that Society Bites keep their gold! It’s sickening.
AW: You know, I don’t think that Pete tripped
Bailey. I think Bailey just tripped on the bottom rope…
Post-match:
(The champions walk to the top of the ramp and
face the ring, holding their title belts aloft. Bailey and Champion look on in
disbelief. Suddenly, The Punk Junkies attack Bradley, Harris and Pete from
behind! The crowd goes wild. Brainstorm and Twitch grab Big Poppa Pete and
throw him off the stage, to a huge pop! After beating the hell out of the Tag
Team Champions on the ramp, The Punk Junkies throw Bradley and Harris back into
the ring, where Champion blasts Bradley with the All She Wrote and Bailey nails
Harris with the Pistol Whip.)
AW: That is no way to treat our tag champs,
Freeman!
CF: Well, a DQ is no way for our tag champs to
retain the gold. I’m sure that Pete has taught his protégés every dirty and
dishonest way he knows to keep their titles.
AW: They don’t need dirty tactics to keep their
belts…
CF: That’s right, they don’t! And that’s why it’s
such a shame that they rely on these methods, because they are so capable as a
team.
AW: And when they face The Punk Junkies at
Heatwave, it is gonna be a war.
CF: Coming up here on Saturday Fight Night,
“Everybody’s Favourite Wrester” Devon Ferrari, who has been on a
well-documented run of wins lately, takes on Midnight Blue, a man who has been
hearing the cheers of the fans lately.
AW: That’s true, Blue has developed quite a fan
favourite following in recent weeks. It would be a shame if Midnight Blue had
to turn to the troglodytes for support.
Midnight Blue and Devon Ferrari battled to a
double countout in 0:09:45.
Rating: ** 1/2
CF: Alex Fletcher has counted both men out!
AW: What a physical battle! I don’t think that this is over between Blue and Ferrari!
CF: The World Television Championship is on the line next!
Pre-match:
(Jawaid Kaleeq waits patiently in the ring for the
entrance of his opponent, NWA-UK World Television Champion Jason Prentice.
Prentice’s music hits and the champion makes his way out from the back with
Linda O’Neil by his side. Picture Perfect takes the mic from the ring
announcer.)
Prentice: Unfortunately…
(The crowd groans. They have heard it all before.)
Prentice: …unfortunately…
(The fans begin to jeer Prentice, who is not
amused. Kaleeq stands in the corner, growing more and more aggravated.)
CF: Can’t we just have one show where Prentice
doesn’t try to wuss out?
Prentice: UNFORTUNATELY, I have a problem…
Byson: That’s right Prentice, you DO have a
problem!!!
AW: Wha…?
(“Linchpin” by Fear Factory blasts over the
speakers and Byson storms down to the ring holding a microphone. He rolls under
the bottom rope and into the squared circle.)
CF: I have no idea what Byson is doing out here.
AW: It doesn’t matter what he wants. Everyone
better get out of the way, get out of the way for Byson!
Byson: The way I see it, you two have a choice and
I’m gonna make it real GODDAMN SIMPLE! You can either get out of this ring and
live, or you can stay in it and DIE!!!
CF: Whoa!
AW: I know what I’d choose!
(Prentice, not needing a second chance to get out
of a title match, bails out of the ring in record time, taking his belt and
Linda with him. However, Kaleeq jumps Byson with a barrage of punches, to a hot
reception from the crowd!)
CF: What the hell is Kaleeq doing?!
AW: The kid is either very gutsy or very stupid!
Byson gave him a choice, now he’s gonna have to face the consequences!
Byson pinned Jawaid Kaleeq with the Bull Rutt in
0:14:32.
Rating: *** 1/4
CF: Byson destroys Kaleeq, but you have to admire the youngster’s courage.
AW: Yeah, and now you can also admire all the
bruises and broken bones that Byson just gave him!
CF: Byson is on a real tear, and looks prepared
for Heatwave and that Triangle Match for the World Championship. Now we all
know that Junior Jones and Scottie Hero stole Cuthbert D. Fharquar’s Rolls
Royce several weeks ago, which had led to a ladder match between the young duo
and the aristocratic tandem of Fharquar and Lord Potemkin for the keys to the
Rolls Royce at Heatwave. Now however, singles action is the order of the day as
Potemkin faces “The Upset Kid” Junior Jones.
AW: I hope Potemkin teaches Jones a lesson
tonight. Do these punk kids think they can break the law and get away with it?!
Think again!
CF: Let’s go to the ring.
Lord J. T. Potemkin III pinned Junior Jones
after a power bomb in 0:12:04.
Rating: ** 1/2
CF: Potemkin reverses that huracanrana attempt by Junior Jones into a power bomb for the win!
AW: What presence of mind by Potemkin!
Post-match:
(Cuthbert D. Fharquar runs down to ringside and
drags a 10 foot long ladder out from under the ring. He slides it under the bottom
rope and follows it into the ring. He and Potemkin then brutally clothesline
Jones with the ladder.)
CF: My God!
AW: They almost decapitated Jones with the ladder!
(Scottie Hero tries to make the save, but Potemkin
swings the ladder and smashes Hero in the face with it, knocking Hero off the
apron. Fharquar then lies the ladder on the mat and Potemkin nails Jones with
the Cultural Suplex onto the steel!)
AW: These upper-class snobs are teaching Jones and
Hero a lesson they’ll never forget!
(Fharquar lifts Jones’ limp body off the canvas
and plants him with the Silver Spoon cradle piledriver onto the ladder.
Potemkin lifts up the ladder and dumps it onto Scottie Hero’s prone body at
ringside. The aristocrats then bow patronisingly to the disgusted fans in
attendance as Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 starts to play.)
CF: What a beating Fharquar and Potemkin just
dished out! Hero and Jones are in serious need of medical assistance!
AW: I think the moral of this story is clear:
don’t steal Fharquar’s Roller!
CF: Junior Jones has been busted wide open. His
brains had to have been scrambled after the piledriver onto the ladder.
AW: Maybe now he’ll think twice about grand theft
auto.
CF: That ladder match could be the show stealer at
Heatwave, but everybody is looking forward to the World Championship Match…
Bryan Campbell interview, w/ Hiro Kakuhari.
(“My Own Summer (Shove It)” by The Deftones hits
and “Blue Chipper” Bryan Campbell makes his way out, flanked by World Champion
Hiro Kakuhari. Campbell looks on in disdain at some of the fans about ringside,
before getting in the ring and taking the mic. The crowd boos incessantly.)
CF: There’s the dangerous World Champion Hiro
Kakuhari, along with the manipulative Bryan Campbell.
AW: Now hold on a second…
Bryan Campbell: I think it’s time for everyone in
Pitsea to shut up now!
(Predictably, the boos grow louder.)
Campbell: In case anyone hasn’t heard yet, the
main event of Heatwave will feature your World Heavyweight Champion Hiro
Kakuhari…
(Kakuhari climbs the ropes and spits a mouthful of
red mist into the air. The crowd jeer the champion, whilst Campbell dodges the
droplets of mist falling on him.)
Campbell: …defending the title in a Triangle
Elimination Match against Byson…
(More boos.)
Campbell: …and “The Iceman” Ben Winter.
(Huge pop, followed by an “Iceman” chant.)
Campbell: Now I seriously doubt that I’m the only
one around here that feels that this is unfair…
Backstage:
(Migraine is watching Campbell’s in-ring promo on
a monitor in the back. Ben Winter walks past, when Migraine calls him back.)
Migraine: Hey Ben, have you been watching this?
Winter: What?
Migraine: Campbell’s promo.
Winter: Hell no.
Migraine: You should have.
Winter: Why?
Migraine: He’s out there, ripping you to shreds.
In fact, he just called you out!
AW: What?!
(Winter starts to seethe.)
Winter: Right!
(The Iceman storms off in the direction of the
ring, while Migraine smirks.)
CF: Migraine has set Campbell up, big time!
(Campbell continues on with his spiel in the ring,
blissfully unaware of what was going on backstage.)
Campbell: …it’s bad enough that Kakuhari is
suffering from a serious neck injury, but having to face two men of the calibre
of Winter and Byson in one night is asking too much. Now I’m not saying that
Kakuhari couldn’t beat them…
(“Back To School (Mini Maggit)” by The Deftones blasts over the speakers and interrupts Campbell. Ben Winter marches out from behind the curtain.)
CF: The Iceman cometh!
Campbell: What the hell are you doing?! This is my
interview time!
(Winter carries on down the ramp.)
Campbell: Ben…Ben, wait!
(The Iceman climbs into the ring with the crowd
fully behind him. Campbell drops the mic and hides behind Kakuhari. The Blue Chipper
then shoves the champion into Winter, who presses Kakuhari above his head and
launches him over the top rope.)
CF: Campbell has nowhere to run…here we go!
Ben Winter defeated Bryan Campbell by countout
in 0:19:34.
Rating: **** 1/4
CF: Campbell takes the easy way out by getting deliberately counted out.
AW: And rightly so. He wasn’t even supposed to
wrestle Ben Winter, so why should he?
CF: The Iceman’s not finished!
Post-match:
(Ben Winter leaves the ring and runs up the ramp,
catching Campbell with a powerful clothesline to the back of the head. The
Iceman connects with a vicious right hand, sending The Blue Chipper rolling
back down the ramp to ringside. Winter then presses Campbell above his head and
throws him through the ropes, back into the ring. The crowd love it.)
CF: Campbell is being decimated here!
AW: This isn’t fair! He’s a Blue Chipper, for
God’s sake!
(The Iceman stalks Campbell and then locks him in
the Deep Freeze. The Blue Chipper taps out frantically. Suddenly, Hiro Kakuhari
runs back to the squared circle. He mists Winter in the eyes, causing The
Iceman to release Campbell from his clutches. Kakuhari then hammers Winter with
some lethal, buzzsaw-like kicks to the head.)
CF: Listen to those kicks connect!
AW: I think he’s caved in Winter’s skull!
(Then Byson hits the ring and spears Kakuhari,
before grabbing the World Championship belt and throwing it the mat. Byson then
plants the World Champion onto the gold with a devastating piledriver, further
injuring the Japanese superstar’s neck. Kakuhari thrashes about on the canvas
in agony clutching his neck as Byson surveys the three bodies strewn across the
ring. Byson then takes the title belt and climbs the ropes, holding it aloft,
as the crowd boos him mercilessly.)
CF: Yet again, Byson causes complete and utter
devastation!
AW: The two go hand in hand, but look who he left
laying - his opponents at Heatwave, Ben Winter and champion Hiro Kakuhari!
CF: Is Heatwave really a forgone conclusion? What
will happen on Hammerlock TV this week? Join us this Monday to find out, but
from the Welcome Centre here in Pitsea, I’m Chris Freeman for Adam Wheeler
saying goodnight, everybody!
Match observations:
Click here to view the current Heatwave card, as it stands.
Click here to return to the card overview.
Peter Abram, 07-28-2001