CUDDESDON

Headman.
Sweep sweep the room I call, give us room to rise and room to fall and we will show activity to you all activity of youth activity of age activity you have never heard of nor yet seen acted on the stage and with these words I say come in King George and clear the way.

King George.
In come I King George the man of courage bold with my broad axe and sword, I won ten crowns of gold. I fought the fiery dragon and I drove him to the slaughter and by those means I won the King of Egypt's daughter.

Headman.
Come in Turkey Knight.

Turkey Knight.
In comes I Turkey Knight, come from Turkey land to fight, I'll battle against you King George the man of courage bold if thy blood be hot I'll quickly make it cold.

King George.
Woe, woe, my little fellow, thou talkest very bold just like those young Turkey Knights I have been told Mince Pies hot, mince pies cold, send them up to London nine days old, a battle a battle betwixt you and I to see to see which on the ground first you or T.

King George and Turkey Knight do battle. King George gets wounded. Headman helps him, telling him to rise and fight again, when he outs the Turkey Knight`.

Headman.
Oh Doctor, doctor where be'st thee, that Turkey Knight is wounded through the knee, through the knee, and through the heart, the Turkey Knight is wounded in every part.

Come in Doctor .

Doctor.
In comes I the jolly noble Doctor who travelled far and near.

Headman.
Where didst thee travel then, Doctor?

Doctor.
Italy I, Pitaly, France and Spain now I'm back to old England again.

Headman.
What canst thee cure?

Doctor.
Magpie with the toothache.

Headman.
How do you cure that then?

Doctor.
Cut off his head and throw his dead body in the ditch.

Headman.
Safe cure, dr. anything else you can cure Doctor.

Doctor.
Yes. Hard corns, soft corns, ipsey pipsey palsey and the gout. pains w within and apins without. bring me an old woman 8 days old, 9 days laid in her grave, if she's got any old Jack tooth in her head, I can fetch her to life again. I've got a little bottle which I carry at my side which I call champagne. Pour a drop down this man's throat and raise him up to life again.

Helps to raise him up.

Headman.
Come in Jack Finney.

Jack Finney.
I've come to let you know my name is not Jack Finney my name is Mr Finney and Mr Finney my name shall be. My head's so big and my wit's so small I've brought my music to please you all.

Plays a dance in which all join.



Found in:

Tiddy R. J. E. (1923) The Mummers' Play. Oxford University press.