Billsie Bub
Here comes I, Billsie Bub,
And on my shoulder I carry a club,
And in my hand a frying pan,
I think myself a jolly wee man.
If you don't believe in what I say,
Call in Jack Straw and he'll clear the way.
Jack Straw
Here comes I, Jack Straw,
The funniest man you ever saw.
My father was straw and my mother was straw,
So why shouldn't I be straw too.
So if you don't believe in what I say,
Call in Grand Turk and he'll clear the way.
Grand Turk
Here comes I Grand Turk,
From Turkey land I came.
I came to fight the champion,
Prince George is his name.
Enter Prince George
or in place of Grand Turk, Green Knight now takes his place.
Here comes I, Green Knight,
With my sword and armour bright.
My body's made of iron,
My hands are made of steel,
My fists are made of kneckiebone,
I am commanding of the field.
Prince George
Here comes I, Prince George,
From England I have come.
Many battles have I taught in.
Many battles I have won.
Grand Turk
That's a lie, sir!
Prince George
Put up your sword and try it!
I will run my rusty rapier through your heart and let you die away, sir!
Captain
Doctor! Doctor! Ten Pounds for a doctor!
Doctor enters
Doctor
Here comes I, pure and good.
Captain
What can you cure, Doctor
Doctor
I can cure the plague within, the plague without, the palsy and the gout.
Captain
What medicine do you use, Doctor
Doctor
The heart and liver of a creepy stool,
Put into a wren's blether
And stir it with a cat's feather.
Take that fourteen fortnights before day
And if that does not cure you I ask no pay.
So, Hokis pokis, aii come pain,
Rise up young man, and fight again.
Captain
Wonderful! Wonderful! The likes I have never seen
A man of seven senses driven into seventeen.
Whether be a wolf, whether be a bear,
For I am the only king's son and heir.
Enter Big Head
Big Head
Here comes I that didn't come yet,
Big Head and Little Wit.
Although my head is big and my body is small,
I will play you a tune that will please you all.
Two of the mummers dance, and sometimes songs,' The Rose of Tralee', 'The Man who broke the Bank at Monte Carlo', The Boys of Armagh' and possibly 'Kitty of Coleraine' were sung.
Enter in Biddy Funny
Biddy Funny
Here comes I, Biddy Funny,
With my long black bag that carries the money.
Money I want and money I crave,
If you don't give me money
I will send you all to an early grave.
Found in:
Helm A. & Cawte E.C. (1967) Six Mummers' Acts. The Guizer press, Leicestershire.
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