This site effectively ceased production in October 2001 - though at the time of adding this opening note much of the information is still relevant. I had quite a bit of fun writing much of this, but for the reasons given below there didn't seem much point in going on. (Phil Coates, April 2002)
This guide was inspired by the Bradford Curry Guide. The idea is that a group of amateur curry enthusiasts get together, explore Indian restaurants in their locality, and publish their thoughts on the internet for the benefit of others. Three of us began this process and, following several months' preparation, visiting restaurants in South Yorkshire, our guide was launched in November 2000 as "Uncle Phal's Curry Hot Spots" ... The remains of Uncle Phal are still to be found scattered among these pages. The site was relaunched about a month later under the present name, by which time it was becoming apparent that the project was doomed.
The heart of the matter, as I see it, is this. Bradford has an abundance of unlicensed Indian restaurants - quirky, interesting, perhaps unsanitary, dangerous even (someone was shot in the legs outside the Sweet Centre in 2000). Things change. Stars fall and rise. There is always the chance of discovering something new and exciting.
South Yorkshire, on the other hand, on present showing, has only three restaurants that approach the Bradford model. Overwhelmingly, the remainder are crass commercial enterprises catering for what they term "western tastes" - a euphemism for sweet and bland. My suspicion is that at the top of a nepotistic hierarchy sit a number of Merc-driving Mr Bigs who own multiple establishments. These folk have come a long way from the cottage industry they often claim to represent. I also suspect they are supported by (or indeed own) a wholesale distribution system that has effectively turned Indian restaurants into fast food outlets, though you might not think it to look at them. They don't all look the same - indeed, it is in their interests to look different - but they do all serve the same food, more or less.
Eating out in the Far East, as many travellers to those parts of the world will have discovered, is (a) often incredibly cheap (so much so that it is hardly worth buying the ingredients and cooking them yourself) and (b) often surprisingly high quality (far more so than in Europe), especially where fresh local ingredients are used. Enterprising restaurant owners in the U.K. have sought to gentrify this cheerful experience and add "value" in any number of dubious ways. (See SYIRometer.) But what they claim as classical cuisine is often little better than convenience food in a pretentious wrapping. Convenient for them, with their ready-made sauces, pre-blended spices, and deep freezers.
A lack of really fresh ingredients is often the defining characteristic. Their menus are just too extensive for them to do anything well. Far from forming the basis of a South Yorkshire "curry culture" they are really an extension of the existing "lager culture", their dominant clientele being undemanding late-night drinkers and club-goers in search of watering holes after the pubs have closed. Indian restaurants of this type work long hours towards the end of the week and sit virtually empty the rest of the time. There are so many of them - restaurants and punters - this is clearly a lucrative market.
I dearly wish a few more would care less about drinks' licenses and table cloths and more about having a few great curries on hand - even if it meant a restricted menu. But if it happened, would there be enough people in South Yorkshire who appreciated it?
Of course, every now and then one of these "chain" restaurants will surprise you. Perhaps you were lucky: they bought some fresh chillies that day or roasted a new chicken. After all, some of the chefs cook real Indian food at home. They know how to do it. Somewhere along the line they just got turned around.
One area in which South Yorkshire does tend to excel in is breads. Most Bradford restaurants don't really want to make you nan bread at all.
After agonizing over the progress of this web site for many months I am struck by the idea that there is little or no need for it. Not only does South Yorkshire lack the curry culture of cities like Bradford (where, incidentally, the total number of restaurants for potential review is manageable) it has, for the reasons outlined above, all the makings of an anti-curry culture. It has taken me a long time to reach this point, but I now feel - sheer bloody mindedness aside - that no sane person would want to "do the rounds" of all the Indian restaurants in this region. The thought of what once seemed an exciting project not only now strikes me as hopelessly ambitious, it makes me shudder! namely, trudging around several hundreds of virtually identical mediocre eating houses, fending off the pretensions of the owners, and then attempting to distinguish one from another in a review. Such a process would lend dignity where it was little deserved; henceforward, such restaurants, if reviewed at all, will be the subject of a short 'capsule' review.
So, has it all been a waste of time? Not entirely. The effort of writing about and analysing the situation has made things clearer. I am mindful of the fact, however, that sites like this can quickly get out of date if they are not maintained. Should this be the eventual fate of this site, let it remain as a warning to others who might be foolish enough to try the same thing.
At a practical level, those who already know the Indian restaurants of Sheffield and Doncaster will probably find few surprises, and their prejudices confirmed - but those looking for pointers out of all the hundreds towards the handful of decent restaurants we do have ... Well, for the time being at least, you've come to the right place. South Yorkshire is a very large county, but it won't take you long to try all the good Indian restaurants. And if you think you've found another one, for God's sake tell me about it!
Phil Coates ( mainly June 2001, but subsequently revised)
This substance, originally clarified butter, readily found in Chinese and Indian supermarkets, is manufactured from an unspecified hydrogenated vegetable oil and resembles margarine. Unfortunately not all vegetable oils are low in saturated fat, and the hydrogenation process is suspected of turning even safe oils into artery-cloggers. Frankly, the health value of this stuff is doubtful, yet many Indian restaurants make liberal use of it - referring to it as 'ghee' on menus, though it is in fact a substitute. In my opinion, many otherwise good dishes are ruined by excess of it - resulting in satiation and nightmare indigestion. I also suspect it is a cheap way to bulk out a dish.
Asking a waiter for a dish to be prepared light on ghee will often bring about a state of helpless confusion. This is probably because most sauces come from a pre-prepared base, and there is little or nothing they can do about it.
To be honest I am not enough of an expert to know if anything on offer in the UK could be described as "authentic". But there are some esoteric desserts - chiefly barfi and rasmalai - which, even in Bradford, are best bought fresh in specialist Sweet Centres and small ethnic supermarkets. The sad thing is nearly all Indian restaurants make little effort to promote these unusual sweets, even though most of them will keep for a week or more in a refrigerator. Calling a boring cone of ice cream "kulfi" (which will keep forever in a freezer) does not in my opinion make it a fitting conclusion to an Indian meal. Even some good Bradford restaurants are guilty of this. Kulfi is a trap for the tyro.
There are no five-star restaurants in the guide because no single establishment has succeeded in combining all the desirable elements. However, we might bring it about with a bit of cooperation and by enlisting the services of Superman and a thermal suit. Starting in Sheffield we collect our mint yoghurt sauce at the Gulshan and at the same time order a load of chapattis. We then proceed to the Kho-I-Noor where we consume our starters and quickly leave, under the scowls of the staff. Swooping low over the Gulshan, we collect our breads, and hurry on to London Road, where Hakim's provides the main dishes. On to Doncaster, to Aagah's, for a superb if expensive rasmalai, and back to the Gulshan for some barfi. Coffee? A latte would be nice. But who's going to be open at that time of night?