10 Tips: How to be a Successful Wife
By: Muhammad Alshareef
Assalamu alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh - I was asked to even the
score and send one relating to women. Fair enough, but let us be clear
that a relationship is not truly based on a spouse
demanding 'their rights' but each person thinks how he can fulfil the other's right according to Shari'aah. Needless to say, this would entail that
everyone is happy especially Allah who is our real Mahboob (Beloved), Maqsad, and Matloob. Any
feedback or comments? Write me. If you
don't want anymore e-mails from me then let me know- I will remove you from the
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Let us value the privacy of others.
Here are the tips
on 'How to be a Successful Muslim Wife'.
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If
you don't understand any of these, I invite you to a meaningful, enlightening
dialogue to dispel any doubts. Please do e-mail me. Please do not
carry around with you wrong impressions. Wrong impressions can be and
have been fatal.
1. Use your 'Fitnah' (beauty
and overtures of allurement) to win the heart of your husband.
All
women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty
Allah - Azza wa
Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your
husband.
2. When your husband comes home, greet him with a
wonderful greeting.
Imagine
your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner
prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what
would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to
him.
3. Review the characteristics of the Hoor
Al-Ayn and try to imitate them
The Qur'an and Sunnah describe the
women in Jannah with certain characteristics.
Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their
husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes
to 'enlarge' them, and sing to your husband.
4. Always wear jewellery and
dress up in the house.
From
the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and
bracelets and worn pretty dresses - as described in the Qur'an.
As a wife, continue to use the jewellery that you
have and the pretty dresses for your husband.
5. Joke and play games with your husband.
A
mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humour. As Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi
wa sallam
- told Jabir to marry someone who would make him
laugh and he would make her laugh.
6. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he
does. Then thank him again.
This
is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of
the women of hellfire.
7. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with
a simple 'I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault.
When
you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly
an argument will end when you just say sincerely, "Look, I'm sorry.
Let's be friends."
8. Always seek to please your
husband, for he is your key to Jannah.
Rasul
Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa
sallam - taught us that any women who dies in a state
where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah.
So .. please
him.
9. Listen and Obey!
Obeying
your husband is Fard! Your husband is the Ameer of the household. Give him that right and
respect.
10. Make Dua to Allah to make
your marriage and relationship successful.
All
good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta'ala
for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta'ala - into Jannah.
May
Allah ta'ala give us the favor of changing what we
can change (like ourselves), patience with what we cannot change (like our
spouse), and the wisdom to understand the difference. Whatever
truth is in it is from Allah and His Messenger, and whatever mistakes are from
the Shaytaan and myself; And Allah and His Messenger
are absolved from it.
In conclusion:
Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful.
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