Islam & wife beating
“How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” Considering the rates of domestic violence all over the world, this question, which was asked by the Prophet Muhammad more than 1400 years ago, is applicable today to all people of all faiths and cultures.
Despite the universality of domestic violence, Muslim men involved in wife-abuse have attracted more attention than others. Horrific stories of husbands beating their wives while claiming that the Qur’an gives them the right to do so are highlighted in the media. At the same time, Muslims assert that Islam honors and respects women, giving them rights that promote and preserve their human dignity.
The crux of the matter lies in the need for the distinction between Islam and the behavior of some Muslims. Each and every Muslim has rather unfairly been caste as a representative of his or her faith, and his or her behavior is immediately a reflection of Islam, not of the Muslim as a human individual.
This special file aims at clarifying the position Islam takes regarding wife-beating. Although the material presented, which is compiled from various IslamOnline.net pages, concentrates on the very specific issue of wife-beating, it is essential to point out that Islam has extensively elaborated on the rights of women at all times and in totality.
Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi and Dr. Jamal Badawi point out that the Prophet Muhammad never hit any female, and said that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives… More>>
In one of his sayings, the Prophet Muhammad equated perfect belief with good treatment of one’s wife: “Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” More>>
Dr. Abdullah Rahman stresses the fact that no marriage can thrive if one or both of the spouses resort to verbal or physical abuse… More>>
The relationship between the spouses should be based on tranquility, love and mercy. These three summarize the ideals of Islamic marriage, Zeinab Mostafa says… More>>
“You ask about obedience to the husband and his “right” to beat you. The answer is that he does not have the right to beat you!” More>>
Islam has honored woman and granted her an equal status with man. Moreover, Dr. `Abdul-Fattah `Ashoor assures that a woman can excel a man by obeying Allah, drawing near to Him, and perfectly fulfilling her religious duties… More>>
“As far as I know, Muslim men treat women with no respect, beat them, oppress them and sometimes kill them!” one visitor says. But, as our consultant points out, the problem is with the practice and not with the law either in Islam or any other culture… More>>
Islam considers marriage to be one of the most virtuous and approved of institutions, and Islam has many teachings on how husbands and wives should deal with each other lovingly… More>>
In Islam, the marriage of a man and a woman is not merely a financial and physical arrangement of living together but a sacred contract, a gift of God, to lead a happy, enjoyable life… More>>
From islamonline.net fatwa section
Question: Respected scholars! Does Islam allow wife beating? Some husbands are violent and they say that the Qur'an allows them to beat their wives. Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to beat their wives, as stated in surat An-Nisa', verse 34?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear questioner, we
would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and
we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our
work for His Sake.
The verse you mention has been greatly
misconceived by many people who focus merely on its surface meaning,
taking it to allow wife beating. When the setting is not taken into
account, it isolates the words in a way that distorts or falsifies
the original meaning. Before dealing with the issue of wife-battering
in the perspective of Islam, we should keep in mind that the original
Arabic wording of the Qur'an is the only authentic source of meaning.
If one relies on the translation alone, one is likely to
misunderstand it.
Commenting on this issue, Dr. Muzammil H.
Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America,
states:
"According to the Qur'an the relationship
between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and
kindness. Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."
(Ar-Rum: 21)
The Qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives
with kindness. [In the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts
the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive
aspects]. Allah Almighty says: “Live with them on a footing of
kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye
dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of
good.” (An-Nisa’: 19)
It is important that a wife
recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head
of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the
husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness
towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among
them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should
seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members
and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.
However, in some cases a husband may use some light
disciplinary action in order to correct the moral infraction of his
wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be
resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However,
if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak
havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.
The
Qur'an is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says: "Men
are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given
the one more strength than the other, and because they support them
from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient
and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to
guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and
ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their
beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to
obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is
most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between
them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other
from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their
reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with
all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)
It is important to read
the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it
to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence
nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family
situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used
in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban
ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves
no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other
scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by
siwak, or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from
taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say
that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one
hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and
said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the
stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” (Al-Bukhari,
English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)
It is also
important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned
in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it
is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral
misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from
sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can
correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
Dr. Jamal Badawi, professor at Saint Mary's University in
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, and a cross-appointed faculty member in
the Departments of Religious Studies and Management, adds:
"If
the problem relates to the wife's behavior, the husband may exhort
her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to
be sufficient. In cases where the problem persists, the husband may
express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a
separate bed from hers. There are cases, however, in which a wife
persists in bad habits and showing contempt of her husband and
disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the
husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at
least in some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a
gentle tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a
symbolic measure than a punitive one.
Even here, that maximum
measure is limited by the following:
a. It
must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of
mutual respect, kindness and good treatment. Based on the Qur'an and
Hadith, this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part
of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's
reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz). Even then,
other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.
b.
As defined by Hadith, it is not permissible to strike anyone's face,
cause any bodily harm or even be harsh. What the Hadith qualifies as
"dharban ghayra mubarrih", or light striking, was
interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of siwak!
They further qualified permissible "striking" as that which
leaves no mark on the body. It is interesting that this latter
fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in
contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or
strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it clear
that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two
evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the
definitions of "physical abuse," "family violence, "
or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal
democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are
seen as national concerns.
c. The
permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of
continued refraction does not imply its desirability. In several
hadiths, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) discouraged
this measure. Here are some of his sayings in this regard:
"Do
not beat the female servants of Allah";
"Some
(women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating
them). These (husbands) are not the best of you."
In
another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is
reported to have said: “How does anyone of you beat his wife as
he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with)
her?”
d. True following of the Sunnah
is to follow the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) who never resorted to that measure, regardless of the
circumstances.
e. Islamic teachings are
universal in nature. They respond to the needs and circumstances of
diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in
some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be
effective in others. By definition, a "permissible" act is
neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In fact it may be to spell
out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand,
rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified, or ignoring it
all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may
interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and
real abuse.
f. Any excess, cruelty, family
violence, or abuse committed by any "Muslim" can never be
traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur'an or Hadith). Such
excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as
it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and
injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him)."
Allah Almighty knows best.
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source: www.islamonline.net
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