I've decided to get quotes from season two only, as that's all the episodes I have on tape. More are coming

ELISA: Look at you, out on the prowl, like a hound dog in a penguin suit.
MIKEY: I don't have to Prowl, I've had a thousand at weddings
ELISA: A Thousand?
MIKEY: Yip
ELISA: It's guys like you that make me hate weddings
MIKEY: It's girls like you that make me love weddings, they have that slight sent of desperation
ELISA: I am not desperate
MIKEY: Oh yeah, then why you look so hot?
ELISA: I do not look hot

"Exactly! whose going to propose to me if I'm in a coma, huh? Who!"

"Okay, I hate to break it to you, but most people don't usually organise their wedding to accommodate the Bachelor Party. I'm speaking generally of course."

ELISA: So, ah what was it? At what point did you have the ring in your pocket and I clipped my toenails on the carpet or left the curling iron on by your sink or swallowed my food without chewing and you decided not to propose?
JILL: Elisa
ELISA"Well I need to know, I want specifics
JILL: Well I'm going to have to check my list of annoying Elisa habits.
ELISA: I'm serious, David, cause what if I'm still doing it? Whatever it is that made you not wanna propose? What if it's some universal problem and I don't find out what it is? I could be single for the rest of my life"
JILL: I wish you hadn't found out like this.

ELISA:hey
JACK:hey
ELISA:I think we should just talk about it now, don't you?> instead of looking at each other all morning and wondering whose going to bring it up and how?
JACK:God I love the way you think.
ELISA : Yeah, I know you do.  So, If David had given me that ring....
JACK : then you'd be married.
ELISA: we'd be married yeah, living in Denver. First of all, Denver. Second of all, I wouldn't have got this Job at the station I never would have lived on my own and discovered I'm the one who likes to leave the dishes by the sink. And I like to fall asleep with the TV blaring
JACK : you do?
ELISA: And if I had never lived on my own and gotten rats and had to move out and live with Mikey I would never know the Joy of mixing waffles with Guacamole.
JACK: What?
ELISA:  Ah, So Good. Basically, my life would be completely different and the fact is I like my life, I like my life I'm happy with the way things turned out. I got to meet you, David got to meet you.