Numb and alone

What I am

What you’ve made me

I can’t believe

You turned so quickly

From the warm

Hand on my back

To the nightmare

I have now.

How could you do it?

You seemed so kind

But it was all a lie.

Now I don’t have warmth

I’m cold and sore

What you’ve left of me.

I wanted that moment

My release from my

Cold loneliness.

I wanted it so much

And now you’ve taken

It from me,

That first kiss

First embrace

I’ve wanted it for so long

What did it mean?

Just a way inside

Hadn’t I ashamed myself

Enough?

I only wanted you to hold me.

Warmth and no loneliness

Love isn’t a lie

Love is pain

And pain is truth.

I keep seeing in my head

How I ran my fingers through your hair

And I keep feeling in my heart

How the warmth of your lips was there

I can remember the passion

And how I was so happy

You were holding me,

And keeping me warm.

I keep remembering

How I wasn’t alone

I keep remembering

How you kissed me back.

But then I remember

Everything going wrong

And your eyes looking so grim

Then I remember

Lying on my back.

I remember feeling nothing

And I remember being alone again

Even when you were on top of me.

I remember just wanting to sleep

And I remember you not kissing me

Again.