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Awkward - written 25th April 2004



Somewhere there's a lonely string singing
Endless melting agony no-one hears.
Somewhere there's a frozen flower dying
Weary, bent in the wind - cold and empty.
Somewhere there's a king planning nothing
Frustrated, swimming with no cause, no safety
Remember the time you felt nothing
Empty, far off pain, far off chill - silence
Remember how you lay and waited
No respects, no expectations and yet them all.
Remember wanting to start walking
Until you fall down, till finally an end?
Listen to these aches i'm trying to express
Primative at heart I know, but too tired.
Listen to the silence I compound
Awkward and uneasy, but far too scared.
Listen to my heart that beats the same
The one thing I can't get wrong inside.


I - written around April 2004


I lay in the road and I dreamt,
I felt the rumble of the cobbles,
I heard the sudden shouting near,
But I didn't move to sit or run.
Why, I thought, escape this fate,
Why try again to survive alone,
Why watch others smile, and cry,
And so I lay and waited,
Then once the cart had passed,
Then sat I up and waited more,
Then heard their screams as whispers,
But no calm did I feel that I expected.
I woke and stared around my room,
I saw the emptiness and quiet,
I felt no comfort, I felt alone once more,
And realised then the truth.
Not complete, not a whole am I,
Not warm or tender, nor beauty,
No grace, no spark, no light in I,
And incomplete i'll stay forever.