I walk with an empty hand
no fingers intertwined with mine

sit alone in empty rooms
I chase the thoughts away

with endless books
I cant remember

middle of the night phonecalls to friends

thank god for friends
who listen to me ramble

I enumerate all your good points
over and over

until I am sure they want to scream

I lie awake and stay at the window
wondering where in the night are you?

in a bed where just last week
we slept like we were dead

exhausted from the love

touching, my body curved into yours
your warmth embracing me

remembering your touch

my lips have returned to their unkissed shape
no longer swollen from your mouth

my lipstick stays intact
until I smoke it off

I smoke a lot

I wake at dawn
sleep eludes me

sunlight holds me its prisoner
I dread each dawn

knowing you wont be with me

the day stretches endless before me
make plans

it is important that I keep moving
from thing to thing

no time to think or dwell
on pain and memories

lost wishes broken dreams

I catch a sob before it escapes me
I am surviving

above me a bird soars
and flies away fading from my sight

its gone
a reflection

of you, our love