When you’ve finished here, why not take a look at my
other site, sidelines, which has more content
And links that actually lead somewhere!
My World
Hi there and again, welcome to my world. Frequent visitors to Freeserve’s Sound Off Forum, the English Wife contributions at The Free VoyeurWeb and various other sites may recognise the name. For those of you who are curious to know what exactly an eigenfunction is, here is a (very) basic definition: An eigenfunction is one possible solution to a wavefunction within a particular set of defined boundaries. The wavefunction corresponds to my genetic makeup, the boundaries are events in my life. Therefore the person that I am now is a result of the unchangeable within the unpredictable. Simple connection really.
Well that’s the name, what about the person? Well if you’re interested, the results to my personality profile tests give you an insight to my character, but if you aren’ that bothered I’ll just say that I could be described as the living embodiment of Joe Dirt, but whereas in the film, he has a happy ending to his story, I am yet to find my silver lining. And lets face it, lifes not so kind. Other than that I am, pretty much, an open book. Whether it’s one you’d WANT to read is another matter.
Going back to the subject of silver linings, twice recently, I thought my happy ending had arrived. The first was on getting an appointment that I thought would be the start of my career. Apart from the odd highlight though, it turned out to be a nightmare. The second was the realisation of my sexual dream! I met a woman who truly rocked my world (whom I shall call claire, an ode to whom, you can read here. Please read it and leave a comment). I shouldn’t really complain about that, because for almost a year I was one hell of a spoiled bloke. I had my cake at home, and I had another cake just perfect for eating. You bastard I hear you gasp! He has a partner and kids AND he’s had something on the side! Trust me, I never planned it and I’m not bragging but it wasn’t the first time. And with any luck it won’t be the last.
When I’m not working, or thinking of claire (which is ALOT, can’t help it. Honest!), or surfing I’m either just being with my family or seeking escape via one of my many distractions. I won’t go into too much detail on that line of things but lets just say that being a nerdy type (NOT in looks though, I’m often told that I am very good looking<blinding ping from cheesy grin!>) I escape by playing online games, indulging in the star trek phenomenon, and reading (mainly science fact and fiction). I’m also known to risk catching pneumonia by partaking in a bit of amateur astronomy. By being so honest about my life I’m probably risking everything but hey! It’s been so grim for the last 4 or 5 months that it needs a bit of zest, and one of the last things claire stressed was about making your own zest in life.
There’s not much that I want from life. I have a family, which although I probably don’t deserve, is my backbone, my bread and butter. In defence of my ‘extramarital’ antics, I quote some wise old sod, “man can’t live on bread alone”, and boy was he right. But I digress (too often). The things that I would ask for from life, given enough wishes, are:
· Happiness and health for those I love
· To occasionally be with claire/to meet English Wife and return to both of them the pleasure they have given me (without ruining their family’s lives and without ruining my family’s lives)
FREESERVE’S SOUND OFF FORUM
A madcap centre for political debate, humourous jibes, and just generally sounding off. Although it is frequented by some strange and weird types, there are some kosher folk who have some resemblance of normality whatever that is. As an internet novice I visited the forum and my naivety soon ensured that they wiped the floor with me. To try to maintain my composure and not let them see me struggle with the learning curve I changed names regularly and often. I went by the name of labrat, pearly, bountyman and éclair among others but eigenfunction sort of fits me like a glove so I always use that pseudonym now regardless. Its rare that I visit now for more than a few minutes as there is nothing new. Same old arguments, same old jibes, the occasional funny joke and much impostering. Why don’t you visit? You’ll either love it or hate it.
ENGLISH WIFE
A strikingly, wonderfully, beautifully sexy woman. She has a classical figure that simply blows away any competition. I came across her as I was searching the internet on the off chance that clair was on it, somewhere (Sad I know, and scary). The first images I saw of her, were with her face obscured by her lovely, wild hair (ggggrrrrrrr), and to tell you the truth I thought it was claire. Their figures, form, mannerisms (if such information can be seen in a still photo), skin tones, freckles and hair colour (EW is dark where claire is lighter) are so similar its scary! (In a nice way of course) When I finally saw English Wife’s face, again I was blown away. First by her own beauty and second how alike claire’s features were to hers. I must be a glutton for punishment, 2 absolute babes and both of them unobtainable. No wonder I have trouble sleeping.
Anyway, English Wife’s hubby is a photographer. I don’t know much about photography but I do know that he has an eye for good photos and a devine wife who models for them. The resulting photographs are truly exquisite but whether that’s due to his eye or his wife’s flawless form I couldn’t say (I prefer to think it’s the latter though cus she is gorgeous! And she never fails to erm raise my interest). This unbelievably nice couple (I don’t know that for a fact but I reckon they are my sort of people) post this treasure on the internet, firstly on their own site (the first site I ever added to my favourites, I’ll try to add a link here) and secondly on a strange, but entertaining site called The Free Voyeur Web, by which, I’m almost ashamed to say, I am entertained by quite regularly.
Without English Wife to appreciate over the last few months I’m sure I would have gone absolutely mad. To allow herself to be oggled by so many men, and for her husband to agree to it, well! I think that’s kind of special. I plan to include a link to their site with the hope that some visitors here, may appreciate their work so much that they will part with their good money to purchase some REAL fine art. It may not be much but “every little bit helps”, said the ant pissing in the sea. If you do visit, make sure you have a good dictionary to hand. No matter how large you think your vocabulary is, you will need more words than you possess to describe her beauty. Oh and as one of her fans commented, there should be a warning on the site, NOT a warning due to pornographic material (because it isn’t), but warning: curves ahead!
The
Free Voyeur Web
As stated above, this
site, aswell as being filled with naked women (some most of whom
shouldn’t really bother), it is very entertaining for open minded adults. No more explaination or comment is needed me
thinks, considering the title, except some of the comments made by Igor, Sailor
etc are subtly hilarious. Oh by the
way, I came across that site purely by accident (as you do).
Personality
Profile
As you might be able to tell from the rest of this site, I’m very open minded, extremely sexually orientated, and I know what I like. As you will see from this section, my low emotional intelligence (doesn’t bother me, besides, it’s not like I can change it by much) means that, due to me being dense, theres not much else I can really say about myself! So I’ll leave the psycho-babble to the results gained from taking the personality test on the Discovery Health website (Health Assesment section). I dare say that most people wouldn’t do such a thing (post psychological information on the web) but I have my anonymity unless some clever bugger knows me from all these details, or can figure it out. But who cares?! What I am is what I am! No matter what you are or why! I did the social anxiety test first because I thought I had that phobia about being in a large group of people. Is it agrophobia? But after that the test results are just random. I will include my IQ result just to show off.
Social Anxiety score = 69
(My lucky number!)
Your test score shows that you are relatively uncomfortable in many social situations. You appear to have a number of unnecessarily weak social spots, and there are social situations that make you feel quite nervous and unsure of yourself. Approaching social situations with fear results in paralyzing performance anxiety, which in turn may feed your feelings of inadequacy or inferiority. A little work on your social skills would boost your self-esteem and help you fully enjoy your social life. (I think I must be schizo ‘cus sometimes I LOVE ‘social situations’. Go figure!)
Type A Personality score =
61 (Tending towards type B)
You seem to be in the middle between the Type A and Type B personality. In this case, the middle ground is good. Your attitude to life is more of the ''smell the roses'' kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life.
Communication Skills index =
36 (oops, quite poor!)
According to this test, your
communication skills are not bad, but could still use some work. Communication
is the essence of social interaction. It influences what others think about you
and how well they understand you. It also determines to a large degree your
self-esteem, assertiveness, and social adjustment. Poor communication skills
are at the core of many frustrating relationship problems, be it in
interactions with friends, a marriage-partner, co-workers, children or
authority figures.
You are doing relatively well, but things could still be better. The good news is that with a little work, communication skills can be considerably improved. It's well worth the effort.
Emotional IQ scores Overall
= 79
Behavioural aspect = 76, Knowldege aspect = 106
There is no arguing that
classical IQ, as measured by most intelligence tests, is important in our personal,
academic, and professional success. However, emotional intelligence matters as
much as the classical IQ. One could almost say that emotional intelligence is a
prerequisite for the proper development and actualization of our other
intellectual abilities.
The bad news is that your
Emotional IQ is quite low. Practically, this means that you are not taking full
advantage of your potential, whatever it might be. Low EIQ has a negative
impact on all aspect on your life, from relationships (you might be viewed by
others as overly a critical, inexpressive, inhibited, detached, cold,
condescending, rigid, and blame-shifting person), emotional health (you might
be prone to anxiety, depression, excessive guilt, aggressiveness, low
self-concept, stress-related problems) to your motivation, creativity, ability
to bounce back, resilience and persistence.
At least part of the reason for
your poor performance on this test is that you don't have the knowledge
necessary for the full development of your emotional intellect. The good news
is that you can do something about it even if you are a mature grown-up. And
you can start right away!
Locus of control refers to how a
person perceives the cause of life events. Someone with an internal locus of
control would generally perceive herself as responsible for certain occurrences
(his actions would have a direct bearing on the result), while a person with an
external locus of control would most often blame (or thank) fate, destiny,
luck, society or some other force beyond her control. Intricately entwined in
one's locus of control is "attribution style". Attribution style
determines whether an individual attributes success to internal or external,
stable or unstable forces. For example, a student who scores low on her SAT's
might feel that she was particularly fatigued that day. She attributes her
failure to unstable internal forces, which suggests that if she were given
another try, she might not be so tired, and thus would hopefully receive a
higher score.
There is a certain tried and true
recipe for coping with the challenges and stresses of life. In fact, research
has shown that in academics, athletics, and other competitive fields, a
particular locus of control is most likely to encourage success. In terms of
success, it is best to attribute it to stable internal forces. For example, a
public speaker who concludes his first speech to uproarious applause would do
best to thank his own orating abilities, writing skills, and sense of humor. He
would also benefit by believing that he could do it again if he had to.
When it
comes to failures, however, it is wisest to adopt another strategy. Those who
are best off feel that they fell on their face (figuratively speaking) due to
unstable and even external forces. For example, it is healthiest for an athlete
to blame a slight headache or tension (both are unstable internal forces), poor
weather conditions, or bad shoes (both are unstable external forces) for coming
up short of the mark. By doing so, the athlete is maintaining a fundamental
confidence in her own abilities, since presumably the headache will go away,
she can relax, or wear different shoes, and the conditions will be better next
time. With a basic faith in her capability, she will feel motivated to try
again. In short, it is important to internalize success, but NOT failure.
Your locus of control appears to
be in the mid-range between internal and external orientation. In general, you
probably feel that while you can very well control and influence many aspects
of your life, there are things that just happen to you and that are outside of
your personal control. People with more external LC tend to believe that their
actions are results of environmental, external forces. As a consequence, an
external LC might lead to a rather fatalistic and passive attitude toward life.
Perceived lack of control over one's life might lower motivation, initiative
and willingness to take risks. Under such circumstances, chance of success can
be diminished. People with internal LC, on the other hand, interpret outcomes
as results of one's own actions. They tend to take responsibility as well as
credit for the results of their actions.
You seem to be balancing between the two. It is important to understand and accept one's own limits. It is equally important not to give up without doing one's best. Even though equilibrium is good in general, try to shift your locus of control further toward the internal side.
You have a mixed attribution
style when it comes to success. Sometimes you interpret your success as a result
of your skills, intelligence, nice personality etc. Other times, you attribute
it to the external factors, such as luck, ease of task or other people's help.
As a consequence, you don't always take the credit you deserve. Your
self-esteem, motivation and general well-being would most likely be improved if
you realized that you actively influence positive events in your life.
At times,
you attribute your success to unstable aspects (luck or effort), sometimes to
stable characteristics (skills, intelligence, favorable environment).
Failure Attribution Style
You have a mixed attribution
style when it comes to failure. Sometimes you interpret your failure as a
result of lack of ability, insufficient effort etc. Other times, you attribute
it to external factors, such as bad luck, task difficulty or discrimination.
Attributing failure to external forces can be useful in terms of your
self-confidence, provided that the external factors are perceived as
controllable and changeable. However, if the external factors are perceived as
a given, bred in the bones, and uncontrollable, external interpretation of
failures can lead to frustration and resignation. When you attribute failure to
unstable internal sources (eg. lack of effort) it can help you to mobilize your
strengths and increase your motivation in future encounters with
similar situations. However, attributing failure to stable internal forces can
be damaging to your self-esteem, perception of self-efficacy, and motivation.
Also, when it comes to your failures, you seem to teeter between blaming stable forces and unstable ones (such as lack of effort or bad luck). It is worth mentioning to you that perceiving failure as something stable is not favorable to your personal development. It can greatly damage your self-confidence, diminish your normal motivation and lead to frustration. It would be advisable to work on the way you interpret your failures.
(Not really a true IQ test
as the result is a percentage where the true IQ scores can be over 100)
(Also I was distracted for
about 10 minutes while doing the test!)
Tests
that are designed to evaluate general intelligence often include several
different sections, each designed to measure ability in a different arena. The
test you just took focuses on just one of these sections: mathematics and
logic.
In
general:
You
scored very high on this test. This indicates that your intellectual potential
is significantly above average. If this outstanding ability is not reflected in
your real life, you may want to consider examining other possible reasons as to
why you might not be reaching your full potential (such as motivation, lack of
stimulation, lack of ambitions, low self esteem etc.).
My Career Success (or lack thereof)
Actually I’m not going to discuss this as it’s a very sore subject for me. I might come round in the future though. But according to the test results above, I have all the logic intellect to do technical work (which is my career area) but the negative aspects of myself that hamper my efforts are lack of confidence, inconsistent communication skills, and a low emotional IQ. Otherwise I reckon I’m pretty well balanced. Also hampering my efforts are any potential negative aspects of employers, which I must take into consideration.
Got anything to ask, suggest, comment on? Email: eigenfunction@talk21.com