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A Quiet Funeral Vehicle preparation |
"And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death" | ||
| Funeral What to do first Non religious services Save a fortune Before it happens Make it personal How to complain Details Of mice & men Snippets
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Those gleaming vehicles, the
somber hearse, the silent limousine and the saloon for the minister that
glide smoothly down the roads, just how do they make them look so good?
The Right WayThe vehicle should be washed, using a hose and a good clean water supply. Any heavy dirt should be loosened with ample amounts of water and removed by wet sponge. The entire vehicle should be washed with a suitable sponge or cloth. A liquid wax may be occasionally added to the water supply and liberally applied to the vehicle. The vehicle should be rinsed thoroughly to remove all signs of foam or bubbles. Finally, the vehicle should be dried by the rapid and smooth application of a good quality and clean chamois leather or suitable substitute. Periodically the vehicle should be treated to a generous wax polishing. The Funeral Director's WayMuch the same as The Right Way - if they have time Alternatively, they'll get one of the driver/bearers to do it for them. Usually, they'll give the vehicle a quick hose down and then dry it off with a chamois leather. The Driver/Bearer WayThis person knows it all - the fastest way to the nearest cafe, the longest route back, the best place to lose mobile phone signals and the quickest way to discharge a pager battery - better still, twenty excuses for leaving either device at the office/mortuary/home or for not having switched it on in the first place. How to clean a vehicle? Easy, stand around until the boss arrives and then quickly, but not so fast as to cause a strain to the wage collecting arm, lift a damp - never wet - sponge to the windscreen of the vehicle. Make long circular motions with the damp sponge, taking care not to splash water on the body work. If the boss leaves the area, dry the damp patch and go and get a hot drink. Pray for rain on the way to work each day. |
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