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A Quiet Funeral non religious |
"Tis after death that we measure men" | ||
| Funeral What to do first Non religious services Save a fortune Before it happens Make it personal How to complain Details Of mice & men Snippets
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Despite "tradition", and the demands
and expectations of others you do not have to have a religious funeral
ceremony if you don't want one. There is a growing, popular trend to take
an active part in the funeral ceremony. If you are not drawn to any
specific belief system then do it your own way - it's far more healthy and
healing than taking the so called easy option.
The important point to bear in mind is that you must inform the funeral director or person with whom you are making any funeral arrangements of your wishes. They should be only too willing and able to assist you and may even have suitable contacts for you to use. If you are stuck for a venue, consider that most local authorities allow the crematorium chapel to be hired for a ceremony even though the funeral may go elsewhere - for a burial, for example. There is no legal requirement for a member of any established faith to take or be present at a funeral ceremony - If you wish to conduct the entire proceedings yourself, you can do so. Taking a funeral service for a family member or close friend can be an extremely difficult thing to do - it can also be a most rewarding and fulfilling experience. You can talk about the life of the deceased in greater detail than most formal services allow. Personal readings can be made, poetry can be read, anything that you want, within the bounds of taste, that make for a "personalised" ceremony and one that will hold genuine meaning for you will be suitable. Remember that while talking in public is hard enough for most of us, this will be the most difficult time of all. Do practise beforehand. You may want to let a "professional" do it for you but get them to read your prepared notes and listen to them reading it through. You want it to sound exactly right. It can prove worthwhile to ask the funeral director to take the entire ceremony for you. Some of them have considerable experience at providing non specific services and they can be of great assistance. If you really want to perform a ceremony yourself, have a stand-in ready to take over - just in case. If you are arranging your own ceremony and working around or with a funeral company, you must get the timing right. You will have to check the start and finish time of each stage of the whole event. If you are taking the reading at a crematorium chapel you will usually only have about twenty minutes in total - this includes arrival and departure from the building. Practise beforehand and if there is to be more than one speaker, coordinate their timing as well. Make allowances for any songs or music that will be used - it's often more effective if particular pieces are played on entering and leaving the venue. If you want taped music played, arrange for someone to start and stop the tape at the right times. Check that there is a power point! - Always verify that tapes can be used - never assume anything and check everything. Most crematoria are working to tight scheduling and you will avoid any unwanted unpleasantness by arriving and exiting the chapel on time. If you have hired cars and drivers, you may have less time again - they usually have another job to go to after yours - so do check just how long they will be available to you. Sources for readings are almost infinite. Try a favourite poem, collected works, songs, quotations....... Don't be afraid to consider a separate and private ceremony, before or
even after the more formal and traditional funeral has taken place. |
Willowgreen
Tom Goldens
The disclaimer bit. Persons acting upon information gained from these pages or personal contact do so at their own risk. No responsibility is accepted for the accuracy of any information contained herein.
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