On Tuesday there was a large and long conversation in the staffroom about Iran, visiting Iran, and customs in the Muslim world in general. After which a teacher who shall remain nameless says something like "You know, I'm a well-travelled and knowledgeable person, and even I'm afraid of the Middle East." (This led somewhere else, but it's irrelevant.)

Yesterday I say to him, "Well, I'm off tomorrow."
"Really," he says, "Where to?"
"Stockholm," say I.
"Oh, that's nice," says he. "I'd like to go there, I've never been to that part of Germany."
After slightly too long a pause I manage to say, with a relatively straight face, "Well, actually it's Sweden." Behind him, a few people are desperately trying not to laugh too loud.
"Is it really?" he says.
I tell him, rather kindly, that it is the capital.

This morning I get a text from Yasmin: "Have fun in Germany!"

So here I am, most very definitely not in Germany, and the best thing of all is it is snowing and looking very pretty. Hoorah!

* posted by nat 3:12 PM

Thursday, January 29, 2004

I have just handed in my Elementary textbooks.

I danced the joyous dance-of-handing-back-the-elementary-books in the middle of the teacher's room.

Go me!

* posted by nat 3:26 PM

Sometimes I hate the döviz.

Me: Have you got any Swedish money?
Man: Swedish or Swiss money?*
Me: Swedish money.
Man: We've got some Swiss money.
Me: I don't want Swiss money, I want Swedish money.
Man: How much do you want?
Me: How much have you got?
Man: I don't know, how much do you want?
Me: Er, a thousand?
Man: That would be x-million lira, but we don't actually have any Swedish money.
Me: ...
Man: We've got Swiss money.
Me: I don't think I like you very much.

Variation:
Me: Have you got any Swedish money.
Man: Do you want to exchange it?
Me: No, I've got lira and I want some Swedish money.
Man: You are foreign.
Me: Yes, but have you got any Swedish money?
Man: How much?
Me: A thousand.
Man: I'll give you x-million lira for that.
Me: I don't want the lira, I want the Swedish money.
Man: Oh, sorry, I misunderstood, you're not Turkish and I thought you wanted to exchange Swedish money.
Me: I don't think I like you very much either.

*İsveç is Sweden, İsviçre is Switzerland. There's always a problem.

In the end I managed to find a couple of nice ladies and they gave me money. Hurrah!

* posted by nat 7:39 AM

Monday, January 26, 2004

Why do Mondays exist, apart from just to taunt me by illustrating categorically just how crap things really can be? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Home now, via chocolate.

* posted by nat 5:38 PM

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Yesterday a piece of ice fell off the roof and broke one of our lounge windows. It's holding together nicely at the moment with superglue and sellotape.

I've spent a fun couple of days watching the news when the TV has been working. They're claiming it's been the worst winter for fifty years (three days and one foot of snow? Huh?) in Istanbul, flashing words such as SNOW CRISIS over the screen every fifteen seconds, and keep asking fantastic questions such as: Why is the electricity off? (It goes off all the time, come on.) Why is the water off? (It's probably frozen) Whose fault is it that people have abandoned lorries all over the bypasses? (Well, that would be freakishly heavy snowfall, wouldn't it?) Why have three people died of poisoning near Bursa? (only 3? Leaving your soba on all night with the windows shut will do that to you) Why isn't the government doing anything? (They're in Ankara. They know what snow looks like.)

Lo, Western values and the blame culture. Why won't it go away?

The snow, however, has gone to a large extent, at least down here. Most people managed to come out and at least clear a lot of the pavements, although there's a bit of sliding to be done on the way home.

I saw Ararat yesterday (the film, not the mountain) and have lots to say about it but do not quite know where to start. Flawed but beautifully watchable. I've got to go now...

* posted by nat 3:49 PM

Friday, January 23, 2004

I am so fantastic! I made it to Kadıköy this morning for my saz lesson twenty minutes early, with only one major stumble (pavement below snow disappeared so I sunk down a foot more than I was expecting, in slow motion and very wobbly, it was fun!) and then spent half the lesson fiddling with the pegs of the saz as we were both so close to the gas soba the poor instruments kept going out of tune. Lots and lots of fun though (unfortunately the electricity stayed on for long enough for him to be able to boil the kettle - so I got black nescafe again) and I have another new piece that is a whole page long! Go me!

On my way to the dolmus stop I passed three huge snowmen, and a few more in construction. Everyone makes snowmen here.

It has not stopped snowing. I got home last night to discover that the kitchen window had blown open - the wind is what's really screwing things up around here - and it took me three goes to get it wedged shut, then I had a quick go at mopping up the kitchen, then the power went out after I'd located the candles but before I'd located the matches. I found them eventually, after scrabbling around. Luckily I had lots of chocolate, and lots of paper. Life was not dull.

This afternoon no-one came to Conversation, surprisingly, so I have lemminged and thus been given a small map of countries I have visited. It's a little off in that I haven't visited Alaska, for example, or all that much of Russia, come to that, but the whole world still looks alarmingly green. Better travel. Better get to it.

Good News: They are going to cancel classes tomorrow! Crikey. We'll be off to a snowball fight then (challenged by a student and his son, who live opposite) - though, as per usual, I only have one glove. At least this time I've left one at home, and not actually lost it.

Off out into the wind and the blizzard and the foot or so of snow, then. Woo!

* posted by nat 1:00 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2004

This will be a very short post as I'm sneaking on between the power cuts (having been about 15C over my days off, we woke up this morning to driving sleet that is getting worse and worse). Apparently trees are falling down and everything - the snow being all horizontal again.

*watches the lights on Carsi go off... and flicker back on again. Argh*

The other reason is that stupid me went bowling on Tuesday night. It was lots of fun but an incredibly bad idea: yesterday I couldn't move much and today I woke up to discover all the tendons in my left arm had decided to blow up. So, unfortunately, will not be doing that again.

Matters of importance: 1) have booked ticket yay! 2) have new timetable and no evening classes - finishing after Nestle again yay! 3) Oguz called. From a new number. Of course yay!

* posted by nat 3:45 PM

Monday, January 19, 2004

So here I am at work, just Jeremy and I in the the teacher's room, blasting out The Beatles at full volume, singing along nice and loudly and writing kids reports.

I need the therapy. I've had a hell of a day - fortunately it's all worked out okay but it's just one more nail in the coffin of how I'm feeling about work at the moment. But the holidays are coming, hurrah, and not one minute too soon. Tomorrow's plan: get hands on ticket to snowy, herringy places. (And there was much YAYing!) I looked in the döviz and 1Sek is apparently equal to about 180,000 lira. I can tell I'm going to get headaches!

Jeremy is now doing the Hippy Shake (at least that's what he claims it is - and to Hey Jude, no less) so it's obviously time to get these reports wrapped up and go to the pub.

Word of the day: seksek means hopscotch.

* posted by nat 6:30 PM

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Last night I said I would go for one beer. This was theoretically all very well but the first one disappeared rather fast, so then I thought I would have another. I had the first one to celebrate the fact that I had drunk two in the time it took Yasmin to drink one (no mean feat) and then the fourth one seemed like a good idea, and so did the fifth.

I then went home and expounded on the concept of leaning to (and on, and over) the housemates, who helpfully recorded my drunken ramblings on the Pocket PC and then played it back in school at lunch hour. There was much leeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaning. There was. Now everyone knows about leaning.

Leaning is what I do, very very well. I have not been doing upright very much recently, it has mostly been leaning. One can lean alone or with friends, indoors or outdoors, in the morning or in the evening, at work or at home. It's the perfect activity. Leaning requires a bad sense of balance and a good sense of laziness. Lean today! You know you want to!

(This is a step up from last week, when I had a lot of beer in the pub, went home and fell over everything in sight in the space of five minutes. I think I broke a world record for constant falling over. Leaning bruises the knees less, and is just as entertaining for others to watch.)

That said I have this huge bruise on my knee today, which certainly did not come from leaning. A bit mysterious, that.

* posted by nat 6:52 PM

Friday, January 16, 2004

Point #1: Something Is Happening Round Here. Hmm.

Point #2: I am in a very snarky mood and do not like getting out of bed. Must be January then!

Point #3: I really ought to think of something to do in Bayram. Avoiding the slaughter is very necessary. Which I think means getting out of here.

Point #4: It appears to be time for beer. Yay!

* posted by nat 4:18 PM

Help! Help! Freak show on Kazım Özalp...

It's not just the shiny black jackets, the nasty leopard-print, the evil black hair dye or even the need to wear half an inch of foundation followed by an entire pot of blusher.

But I do draw the line at making small white poodle-type dogs wear bright orange jumpsuits. With four legs and a zip along the back and its tail sticking pathetically out of the end of the thing. It probably had an external label, too, but I was too busy trying not to look. I suppose it does mean that no-one will ever step on the poor little thing...

Saz progress: I have a piece, now! Go me!

* posted by nat 11:35 AM

Thursday, January 15, 2004

I wouldn't actually have thought it could take one and a half hours to work on a three and a half minute video-clip (the New Year's Party from Bridget Jones' Diary) - but yes, it can. We now can all spout words like 'very well off' 'fix you up with him' 'Mr Right' and 'apparently...'

Random idiom fact: Drinks like a fish translates into Turkish as drinks like a sponge.

Favourite word of the morning: Torture. Closely followed by Gherkins.

* posted by nat 11:24 AM

Monday, January 12, 2004

I somehow have the feeling that today is going to be one of those days, as I stood outside the school door today for several minutes looking for my keys in my bag before I realised that - hang on - this is school, not my house, and I ring the doorbell to get in here.

I am obviously very confused about where I live.

Next up, trying to work the DVD player. Fear for my students! *wanders off to class*

* posted by nat 7:49 AM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

With hindsight, beer was probably a very, very bad idea.

But er. Go me anyway. *pops more pills*

I have also ascertained there's nowhere in- or outside of the Old English Pub New American Bar that you can actually hear properly on the phone. But hey. *waves to pilgrims, woot woot*

Not to mention that Alper and I had way too much fun with writing cryptic messages to each other on Loni's new pocket PC toy. You can take pictures with it as well.

Finally a quick note, seeing as a lot of people seem to be confused: I am learning the SAZ, not the sax. It's a traditional Turkish instrument that looks and sounds rather like a lute. And you can play quarter tones on it.

* posted by nat 3:09 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2004

I broke it to the Eles that the teachers would be changing after Bayram. There was much woe on their part. I was very firm about it. Changing is a GOOD thing!

Of course I'm keeping the kids (changing them would be so bad, we have so much fun). Today's favourite: What does a doctor do? Answer: gives injections and makes children cry. Also, we got all the way to school with a daily routine mime and then realising we were still in our pyjamas and hadn't brushed our hair. We had to go in rewind mode for a bit. The mime for "I have my lessons" was also hysterical - mostly consisted of passing each other notes and making paper aeroplanes. Which doesn't happen in my lessons, so that's something!

I'm feeling entirely glazed over, however. Beer. Mmm. Beer.

* posted by nat 3:04 PM

Friday, January 09, 2004

My saz lesson: we have progressed from scales to exercises! Hurrah! Actually, we played half a song, which was terribly exciting. But it turned back into an exercise again. I am still trying to persuade him that I don't drink coffee, but he won't have it, and then he gets worried when I don't finish it. Next week I am taking teabags.

It has warmed up a little and the snow has all melted, so now it is just cold and depressing again, instead of cold, white, and marginally less depressing.

I did, however, achieve two straight hours of studying Turkish this morning, as I was so appalled by my inability to put a sentence together in the lesson yesterday. It's been all downhill since then, with conversation class, birthday cake for Ben, and then a whole hour on the 'how are things going' chat (aka the 'let off steam' chat).

Tom is upstairs doing tribal dances with the kids. This sounds like something that I should try! Instead, I am planning countable and uncountable lessons for the eles and trying not to make it too dull. (Six more lessons. Six more and it's Bayram!)

I also have my very first mobile phone picture! Actually, the second, as the first didn't send. So here is me and the school canteen. Gosh.


PS: It's biggerhere

* posted by nat 2:19 PM

Thursday, January 08, 2004

GOING HOME NOW. YES.

* posted by nat 4:51 PM

I woke up on Tuesday morning, go up all early, lokked out of the window and saw the snow. First thought: Oooh yay snow! Second thought: Argh, snow, about to go on long journey.

We were only 45 minutes late in the end, but I think that was partly due to leaving late. We spent most of the day doing IELTS testing, it's like doing an A-level, only all in one day and infinitely more vision-blurring. It was interesting, however, plus the side trip to Akmerkez for a bit of lunchtime posturing, and fun to see the teachers from the other side again, as it was at the Etiler school.

Went home, went to bed, got up at about 5 o'clock on Wednesday, went out, played backgammon, drank beer, went home, went to bed.

And this morning there was been lots of snow. Hurrah! Which means that Nestle have cancelled. So I'm going home early. Which is nice.

The Turkish lesson was fun today: a change from the evil grammar based stuff, we did loads of vocab plus a role play. I was the person going to the estate agents to buy a new house, so I went in as a Bagdat woman whose husband had had a payrise and I was looking for a small weekend party place with a good sea view and a very large bathroom "as that is the room I will be spending most of my time in." Fife and Yasmin happily sold. Although obviously we couldn't discuss the finanical terms as I was given all my money by my husband. Well obviously.

Right going home now. I have come to the conclusion that Oguz has lost his phone as it has been continually turned off for the last week (I got suspicious after three days without a text message and tried a couple of calls). So I am waiting to see what he does about this, as he blatantly doesn't have a copy of my phone number anywhere.

Also, Yasmin's friend has sent me the big pink pills. Hurrah! Which is good, because it's cold, and thus I'm a bit screwed up.

I seem to be having a conversation about Garibaldi biscuits now. So perhaps not going home quite at this moment...

* posted by nat 1:33 PM

Monday, January 05, 2004

It's quarter past seven and I'm not teaching.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

And tomorrow I'm going IELTS training. Oh joy.

Right now though... Celebrate free evenings with a trip to the pub! (Who knows how long it might last... timetables are fickle things.)

* posted by nat 5:14 PM

Saturday, January 03, 2004

It's got to be wrong when you get halfway through a Saturday, having just had one three day weekend preceded by a four day weekend, and all you can think of is "Ooooh, in two more days it's the weekend again."

Even the KIDS are depressed. "We're tired. 2004 is so so-so." Holidays coming up in a month, though! We compared New Year's presents. Toy soldiers, books, Magic Word games, etc. Also one of them got, (in this order) a blue toy dog and a new computer. Have I mentioned how much I adore this class? She had far more to say about the dog.

We invented Superheroes. I was trying to do /can/ and superpowers but we ended up revising 3rd person of have got "Has he got an enemy? Has he got a girlfriend? Has he got a secret identity?" So much better.

But I got home, via the pub, this evening, to be jumped upon by happy home-installed housemates and lots of yummy sweet food that I have never even heard of. I am even happy to see the sad sock pile back, and the mess that is now our kitchen again.

And I ate all the rest of the spinach lasagne all by myself.

* posted by nat 7:51 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2004

I woke up this morning smothered under a pile of duvet on Yasmin's sofa - I don't remember falling asleep on it, but Yasmin assures me I did because "One moment you were talking and the next you weren't." Which explains everything really.

There was thus more tavla, just as there was last night, and I started the year as I mean to go on - lolling around on the sofa with tea and biscuits moaning about the lack of non-depressing news, and then going to the pide place for lunch, throwing out a heck of a lot of beer cans on the way. Hoorah!

Rosie and Ness and Kat phoned me last night too, which meant tons of squealing down the phone at each other, and countering hundreds of "So when are you coming home?" with "So when are you coming to Istanbul?" and then just returning to squeaking excitedly down the phone.

I mean to go on with that, as well!

* posted by nat 5:37 PM