Thursday afternoon/evening: Dead.

Friday: Mostly dead, thankfully did not have to work. Cooked broccoli. Upended plateful of broccoli all over sofa. Ate broccoli anyway, whatever.

Today: Fairly dead. Pain, pain. Seven hours of classes, much argh. Adults v. nice about it. Kids mostly bemused: 'You make US sit up straight and you can't even do it.' However kids win bonus points for 'Can I write on the board teacher teacher meeeeee meeeee?' - it takes them twice as long, too!

Typing so painful. Remind me why I am doing this again?

Oh yes, I wanted to tell everybody that it's been about 20C here the past couple of days. Beautifully warm and sunny. It is so not fair!

* posted by nat 4:02 PM

Thursday, February 26, 2004

On Tuesday did nothing; am not well. Made pancakes. Introduced American flatmates to concept of brown sugar and lemon juice on pancakes. Went to bed. Died.

Wednesday: Dead.

Today: Still dead. All classes thoughtfully cancelled. Love all these company classes. Going home to be more dead now. This hurts ow.

* posted by nat 1:34 PM

Monday, February 23, 2004

Further to yesterday, as I have now found out exactly what happened, and much of it makes a fairly amusing story (with the fact that it'sd all over for a week, at least):

So in first break my class make it to the canteen's computer first, of course they cannot all get on, so they decide amongst themselves that a few of them take turns this breaktime, and Hazar will get it at the start of second break. Of course, second break I let them out late, so kids from another class have made it up to the computer first and are on it.

Hazar marches up, says, "It's my turn, get off!" Other children say, "Get lost." Hazar throws a screaming tantrum that we can all hear two floors down.

Now, this kid (who is seven and a half, extremely bright and excessively spoilt) tried throwing said tantrums in my class in the first couple of weeks, and was comprehensively ignored, so he doesn't do it any more. However, his father was upstairs (some of the parents hang around while the kids are in lessons). Father does not say shut up, nor does he tell his kid to get a grip, instead he tries to throw the other kid off the computer so his son can get his own way. Kid on computer quite rightly ignores said adult, because said kid-on-computer's father is ALSO up in the canteen and instantly wades into the fray.

(Hazar, meanwhile, still screaming his head off, mostly because it's getting a reaction out of his father. Both the adult classes have to go to an early break because the noise is intolerable. I am hiding downstairs on the grounds that I know Hazar's father and don't want to go near him.)

At this point Zeynep makes it upstairs, seperates the two fathers who are now shouting at each other, and tells Hazar to shut up. He does. (See?) She gets story out of the two kids, and then tells them that in that case, no-one's going to get to use the computer, if it's going to cause problems. Kids accept this, as it's unfair on all sides and this is the sort of thing kids can handle.

At which point the parent of the other boy starts to complain that "why should all kids get stopped from using the computer just because one small child throws a screaming fit?" Zeynep points out that this is not a computer course, it's an English course.

Hazar's father stalks off downstairs with Hazar, who has noticed his father's attention is back on him and thus starts screaming again. At this point I appear back in the classroom, throw his father out, introduce Hazar to a tissue (we're making progress on "Don't pick your nose," having now almost achieved "If you must pick your nose, at least don't eat it", yell at the entire class, who have been hiding in the room the entire time so have not been able to run around and let off steam, and are all rather freaked out. So then we play Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes, do a wordsearch, and everybody's happy again.

In the meantime, up in the canteen, the parents are still arguing with Zeynep about this bloody computer time! Zeynep suggests that we have a rota system and kids can sign up for it, which shuts the fathers up and Zeynep can get back to her office again.

A few minutes later, some other parents, who were up in the canteen and thus witnessed the entire display, creep down to Zeynep's office and put in their two pence about the computers. Zeynep points out that she has no intention whatsoever of doing a rota, she just said it to shut the fathers up at the time. Other parents suitably impressed.

I get the children back to happy, bouncy, doing-what-they're-told (Put the bazooka* DOWN, please, there will be no terrorism until coats-on time) - and ready to go home at the end of the lesson; Hazar bounces out desperately trying to tell his father that he almost got 10 out of 10 on his homework and got an extra smiley face for legible writing (it's amazing what kids will work for) and his father is not interested at all.

I've been maintaining for ages that parents should be banned from the school premises. I think I'm going to have another go at it.

*We gave up calling them folders ages ago. Balaclavas have also been renamed 'baklavas' and all bottles of water have to be declared as to how full of water inflammable liquid they are at regular intervals.

* posted by nat 7:43 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2004

My weekend, in children:

Saturday: Gosh, teaching children are fun. Lots of silly games, read them a story, they were all transfixed etc. Have super well-behaved class.

Sunday: ARGH HATE TANTRUM-THROWING CHILDREN HATE THEIR STUPID MOLLYCODDLING PARENTS HATE THE WAY CANNOT SHOUT AT CLASS WITHOUT DISSOLVING INTO GIGGLES. (To be fair, class did at that point just stare at me in horror. I rule.)

I shall now go in search of alcohol.

* posted by nat 3:16 PM

Friday, February 20, 2004

Good News: Extra lesson-type person has cancelled.
Bad News: I've just wasted half an hour planning, as said lesson was due to start fifteen minutes ago.
Good News: It gets counted as teaching time so I get away with not having done my admin jobs.
Bad News: I've had to hang around school until 7.
Good News: I've got lots of planning done!
Bad News: But not enough.
Good News: I can go to the pub now!
Bad News: But no-one else is there yet.
Good News: Loni and I have just recorded ourselves singing 'Anything you can do I can do better' on the small tape recorder.
Bad News: She's considering humiliating us both by using it in class tomorrow.
Good News: It doesn't sound all that bad.
Bad News: All the rest of the teachers want to listen to it.
Good News: Loni has hidden the tape.
Bad News: I don't know where she's hidden it.

* posted by nat 5:23 PM

There is something very severely wrong with working on a Friday night, particularly when I have seven hours of teaching to get through on Saturday - and it's trying to snow again, as well... HELP ME HELP HELP HELP.

On the plus side, I achieved over 20 minutes of Turkish conversation with a complete stranger today - the bloke in the office opposite my saz teachers' collared me, as said teacher had an even worse time with the traffic than I did. And we chatted for quite a whille, which was nice. Unfortunately I was not able to stop him from giving me coffee - and worse, coffee with milk. And then I had to drink it to look polite. It was so foul.

Also, ever since my nice 1-2-1 Nestle sales manager has disclosed the sale price of a sachet of coffee I feel completely obliged to not drink it, not buy it, and save the world from horrendous mark-ups.

I shall confine myself to Kitkats.

* posted by nat 2:53 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2004

They have Cadbury's Flakes in Nezih! Who cares about the price! I'm on a Cadbury's chocolate-induced high! Extreme goodness!

Also bought: one small pink notebook with a green fish on the front. Go me!

* posted by nat 12:30 PM

Obviously I am entirely preoccupied with whether or not it will snow again...

You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!

by C.S. Lewis

You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed
quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it
seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic
struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal
that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian
theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust
in zoo animals.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

In other news, I own Pirates of the Carribean on a pirated DVD. Go me!

* posted by nat 9:06 AM

Monday, February 16, 2004

*wails* I should not have to spend over two hours flat on my back after a twenty minute taxi ride. The lights thoughtfully went out for nearly an hour, however.

Stupid taxis. Stupid skidding. Stupid snow.

Pınar has leant me her VCD of Finding Nemo in English, so that's my weekend sorted out. We have also asked us if she can get us a copy of the latest Chevy Chase Cola Turka ad, so we can show it to unsuspecting foreigners and see if they find it as hysterical as we do. (POTATOES! AND ONIONS! - Kills me every time.) We have a suspicion that your average Turk on the street probably doesn't get it either, but the point is we do! I am also amused by the urban myth now going around that Chevy Chase is in trouble in America for making Turkish adverts and thus being unpatriotic.

For some reason you can get all the old Cola Turka adverts on there, but not the latest one, so maybe we should just wait. (Hit 'Reklamlar' then 'izle', and you get stereotypical Turkish life in America - 'Co Efendi' is my favourite, and the Bayraklar are fun - keep an eye out for the nohut-pilav stall and also the moustache.)

I'm going back to lie down now.

* posted by nat 7:48 PM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

On Thursday it started snowing heavily/blowing a gale/generally being antisocial, so on Friday I sensibly did not leave the house, and school closed early on Friday and was cancelled on Saturday... I could get used to this. It's due to snow again next week.

We have staved off boredom by a vast amount of DVD watching and cooking. As per usual I can't make anything sensible, the other two are in there making soups, sauces, stews and golabki, and I made a huge batch of oatmeal-raisin biscuits and banana bread. Both by popular demand, however, so I'm not feeling too bothered.

I phoned up my mother to ask about her moussaka topping and managed not to ask at all, so I'll just have to make it up when I get home tonight.

* posted by nat 11:21 AM

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Yesterday I finally got to see Love, Actually which was very fluffy and good (Yasmin and I turned to each other at the cigarette break and said "we could come back and see it at the next showing as well.") The household now owns it on copied DVD, so life will be Colin Firthful. Hurrah!

Then I went up to Arka Oda and met Oguz. Who for some reason was being trailed by cousins who took one look at me, looked back at him and went "She's not allowed you're going to get in trouble!" At which point I had a mad giggling fit on the sofa (it's a lovely bar, all comfy armchairs and sofas) and they stalked off in disgust.

Anyway, then there was a protracted power cut.

Which was nice.

This morning - well, lunchtimeish - I answered the door to a salewoman type person who looked at me (still in my pyjamas, hair all whichways, cluctching soya milk), looked mildly shocked, and said "Is your mother in?"
I said, quite truthfully, "No."
She then said, "Er, are you the lady of the house?"
I said, "No."
"Oh well," she said, "Would you like to buy some toothpaste?"
I said, "No."

* posted by nat 7:59 PM

Monday, February 09, 2004

Weekends: very much with the chunky jumper love. And parents' day. Which is over, thank goodness. Parents should not be allowed anywhere near their children. Ever. However, they all admit that the children love coming, which overrides any doubts they might have as to:

- What do you DO for three hours? (Er, well, I teach them English, that's why it's called an ENGLISH CLASS.)
- How can you get them to talk for three hours? (Well, I ask them questions, then they answer, then we run round the room, what gives?)
- Why don't they write very much? (See previous answer)
- Why are his marks so low? My child is a misunderstood genius! (He certainly is, if he's managed to make you believe that.)
- Will my child be fluent by summer? (If you sent him to piano lessons for a year, would you expect him to be professional concert standard? No? Really? Amazing!)
- Can you take them to England with you? (Me: Don't even JOKE about that.)

* posted by nat 2:53 PM

Saturday, February 07, 2004

So guess which class I have on Saturday mornings now?

Some very very late Pre-Ints, half of whom I know rather well. Which means I have to spend the whole three hours going I WILL NOT FLIRT WITH VOLKAN I WILL NOT FLIRT WITH VOLKAN I REALLY REALLY REALLY WILL NOT - OH DAMN FAILED AGAIN.

It is entirely impossible because he just spends the whole time making faces at me. It's a minor problem that half of the rest of the class is male as well so I have to spread the attention around. But they are very chatty and so life is good. Except it ought to be entirely illegal to go "Oh my girlfriend's a Libra too" while looking at someone in that manner.

Hee!

* posted by nat 11:48 AM

Thursday, February 05, 2004

This is me, repatriated to Istanbul (Are you glad to be back? Did you have a nice holiday? Are you glad to be back? - Yes, yes, YES!) and never consuming dairy products again ow my head. This is, of course, why I bought a bottle of Baileys. Uh-huh.

After a small tussle I ended up going to Taksim and meeting up with Yasmin and Mustafa and the car there. I've never taken the bus all the way to Taksim before, and it was excessively fabulous coming in through Yenikapı, and going through the Aqueduct. I really should get out over there at some point.

The girl sitting next to me on the bus refused to believe that I lived in Istanbul/lived in Istanbul without my parents/was old enough to have a job/had a job. I got off at Taksim and ran. When people the same age as me refuse to believe it I am obviously fighting a losing battle. (Got up at 6:45 this morning and stabbed self in eye with the eyeliner pencil. Am SO grown-up.)

Also cool was flying in high over Istanbul and seeing the coast outline and the two bridges, all orange, down below. I told Yasmin and Mustafa in the car.

"And did you see your house?" asked Mustafa.
"No," I said, "But I saw your nose!"

I then had to placate him with many offers of Baileys and also donating him a Krona, to make up for the fact that I bought ham back for Yasmin. It seemed to work.

Sweden v. cool though. Nothing quite like watching Pride and Prejudice while vast amounts of snow crashes off the roof. Also, still have not eaten herring. So obviously will have to go back. Yay!

This post brought to you by the procrastinating don't-want-to-write-the-reports-that-I-forgot-to-write-before-Bayram person. Also must plan. Stupid timetable has changed from what it was changed to. Argh!

* posted by nat 9:45 AM