Blogger informs me this is my 700th post.

I have just a little bit of packing left to do, most of my stuff- of which I have far too much - is now installed in Yasmin's flat. And I managed to do it all after a trip to the dentist. Murat was on fine form: 'Why do dentists wear these gloves? - So if you die we leave no fingerprints!'

Today I went to see Murat the doctor (Roads very quiet! Police everywhere!) and discussed swelling and pain and pills and money and stuff, then I had another blood test, then I awarded myself Starbucks Doom complete with lemon cheesecake.

I am still very mopey at evil kismet and people who steal phones or whatever the hell is going on, so made a list of reasons why it will be good to go back to the UK.

It reads:
1. family and friends who are there
2. Indian takeaways
3. availability of Czech beer

Obviously there is also stuff like I will be able to buy trousers that fit me, but this is what holidays are for and so they are not on the crucial list.

It is not a very compelling list, is it?

* posted by nat 9:35 PM

Monday, June 28, 2004

Football: Yay yay yay!

Life: Wah wah wah!

That's all. (Later: dentist and moving Out.)

* posted by nat 9:27 AM

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Everyone in Istanbul has gone perfectly paranoid. Either you can't do anything or you shouldn't do anything: fifty students trying to protest in Kadıköy were outnumbered by a whole bunch of riot police; several students don't want to leave their house for a few days in case there is a bomb (there was one in a MacDonalds on Friday, but then again there is a bomb in a MacDonalds once a fortnight so it's hardly newsworthy); the streets are half empty and that's just round here. The whole thing is just silly.

I have decided I am going make it to my doctor's appointment in Sisli on Tuesday even if I have to swim over the Bosphorus myself!

In other more exciting news I tried freezing a Danette chocoloate mousse thing and it comes out tasting like a chocolate Mini Milk. I am going home now to freeze some more.

* posted by nat 11:49 AM

Saturday, June 26, 2004

So, the bridges are open today - but allegedly only one lane. The radio is not awfully clear on these matters.

Last night we became the Famous Five once more and we all went to Pizza Pina and ate far too much. We introduced Fife and Ercan to hellim. Mmmm. Can't go wrong with hellim. And then we felt we should have bruschetta. So we did. And then I ordered a pizza, which was obviously a mistake as I could only finish half of it. It had sundried tomatoes on, though. So then we lazed back on those nice comfy chair-type sofa things there was all felt far too full, life was good. (Although we speculated life would have been perfect had the sofa had armrests, but perhaps they don't want people moving in.) Yasmin coveted everything in the place from the plates to the lanterns.

Flerdle and I are currently coauthoring a picture of a house which includes a very important duck. It is fab. We are such artists. Yahoo!Doodles is so silly!

* posted by nat 11:28 AM

Friday, June 25, 2004

They really are closing down the ferries - the Besiktas ones at least. That however makes a vague amount of sense, as they are closing down the whole of Besiktas.

They are also going to close the bridges. They really are. (At least according to rumour, but rumour is very persuasive on this point.)

For 5 whole days, starting tomorrow.

Good grief.

My little engineers last night were amused: "They're staying in Ciragan Palace? That's not safe! It's right by the water! You could have a rocket propelled launch from the Anatolian side!"

More fun from the BBC (in the pictures and captions section): "A third bomb was diffused in the north-western city of Yalova."

DIFFUSED? Chemical bomb? Did it go off or not?

* posted by nat 11:36 AM

Thursday, June 24, 2004

I was going to type that sitting around on the computer made it look like I was busy when, in fact, I am actually reading random fanfic and the suchlike.

However I have just been got and am going to type up the Kelkit exam instead. From dictation by the ever-super Danny. I feel sooo secretarial! (I really need glasses for moments like these!)

In other news, I have been eating far too much Danette chocolate mousse-type stuff. I really should give up and just buy the Angel Delight-type stuff which comes in packets so erraneously labelled "Puding". But desptie the over consumption I think I might actually be getting a little thinner. Go dentist work!

Following today's bomb at Çapa - on a bus, or so we hear, rumours are flying - that the bridges are going to be closed, that the ferries and seabuses won't run, in short, that there will be no way save rowing yourself over in a little boat to get over the Bosphorus, and even then you'll be taken out by a scary prowling cruiser or whatever those little grey ships are called. There will be no terrorists getting anywhere near the NATO conference from Anatolia thank you very much! And don't even think of partying in Taksim; we've already dug half the streets up (if you manage to get there, that is)!

ETA: Have just read the BBC report and was slightly bewildered by this sentence: The explosion in Istanbul ripped through a bus outside a hospital on the city's European side. Ambulances rushed to the scene. (Where were the ambulances in the first place?!)

* posted by nat 3:15 PM

Monday, June 21, 2004

Last night Yasmin and I went and ate mozzarella sticks and nachos down at Ciz Biz (Fıçı has closed(!) - it's being turned into a fish restaurant... sigh), then we went down to the sea and played tavla, while watching all these speed boats getting towed onto shore and parked. We got jealous. Then we went back for more beer, and then we went and got ice-cream at Mado. Mmm pistachio. This is getting obsessive!

Then I went and yayed for Portugal inbetween much yawning, dozing on the couch, and making several false attempts at writing an article. I shall have another go tonight.

This morning I woke up to find that my clock said 7:39.

My lesson started at 8:00.

I went tearing down the hallway screaming "Shiiiiiiiiiit!" only to stop at the bathroom door going "Owwwwwwwwwww!" and then throwing water all over myself, getting dressed, brushing my hair, looking in the mirror, realising I needed to shave under my arms, rushing back into the bathroom, dropping things everywhere, then out of the door and into an obliging taxi who then very nearly crashed into some idiot turning the wrong way down the one way street. There was much Allahallah-ing and waving of hands from all parties.

Got to work at 7:58 squeaking incoherently. Osman just laughed at me, and then we talked about football for the better part of two hours. Mostly about how cool the Czechs were.

I finally got round to taking my pills at 10am and life has improved immeasurably!

I have just been working out if I can afford to go to Paris. I have decided I cannot. Oh well.

* posted by nat 9:14 AM

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Life improved greatly at about half past eleven last night, when the Czechs got their third goal in and I bounced up and down on the sofa screeching "YES! YES! YES!" and various squealy phrases of very bad Czech. I blame the rather small amount of Bailey's I consumed. It doesn't seem to take much.

And if that hasn't confused the neighbours by now, I don't know what will!

Jeremy spent this lunchtime composing a Beef Opera and singing various random arias to hamburgers. I shut him in the office until he shut up. Except when he came out Alan joined in and they carried right on. It was truly excruciating.

I am here because my 1-2-1 has not turned up. Typical.

I feel Starbucks Doom coming on...

* posted by nat 12:50 PM

Saturday, June 19, 2004

I am cheering myself up with mindless quizzes. The humidity is the least of the ow.


Insular Majuscule- You are spiritual and well
rounded. People look to you for advice, but
sometimes find you difficult to understand.


What Calligraphy Hand Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

* posted by nat 8:28 PM

Friday, June 18, 2004

Having just had a lovely workshop where we spent half the time playing Ex Libris, which is a fantastic game and should be played more often (you have the title of the book and a bit of the blurb, and then everyone writes the first line of the book. They are then all muddled up and the real one is slipped in, then they are all read out and everyone votes on which one they think is the real first line. We played it with Heinemann Class Readers and it really was rather hysterical), I am now pretending to do standby before I go off to the dentist who will probably keep making me laugh while sticking scary metal instruments of torture in my mouth. After that, off to drink beer through a straw if I feel up to it.

Last night I was cancelled on twice (well, we had to phone up one of the students: "Are you coming tonight?" "Well no, obviously not, I'm not in Istanbul." "Well, thanks SO MUCH for letting us know in advance.") Katherine also got cancelled on so we escaped early, had ice-cream in Mado and then went home to watch the footie and drink reasonable amounts of beer, so it was a good evening, as we were perfectly girly about it.

I have also noticed that France only score when I am watching TV, as per last night when I went to bed in disgust after goal one, then got up after getting a text message going '2-1!' and turned on the TV just in time to watch them make it 2-2. So I shall avoid their next match. It was worth it, however, just to watch all the Croatian football players take all their shirts off after the game. Mmm.

* posted by nat 1:17 PM

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Katka is back in Prague and issuing invitations; Sweden are scoring GOOOOOOOOOALs and making my investment look good; Barıs lost a game of tavla on Tuesday and so had to 'make' breakfast yesterday (this involved him turning up at 11am with some börek, but it was very tasty so I see no reason to complain); the sun is shining and Starbucks is just doom!

Must. resist. urge. to. buy. books.

* posted by nat 10:28 AM

Monday, June 14, 2004

Yesterday's morning class descended into tea and toast on the balcony, but there was plenty of talking going on, and none of us minded. The best part came, however, when Ilker, in full don't-leave-Turkey mode, started blathering on about how I must find a good Turkish man, I ought to find one, he's sure he can help me, etc etc etc. The girls and I, who had a long in-depth conversation in the park on Saturday, couldn't quite keep a straight face, so when he said for the seventeenth or so time "Really you must find a Turkish man," I said, "Ilker! I've found one!"

Ilker does the best looks of surprise around. "Really?" And then got all proprietal, "What's his name? What does he do? Where did you meet him? You must meet him this afternoon! You can learn Turkish."

So then I very gently broke it to Ilker, in Turkish, that I know a bit of Turkish. More looks of surprised consternation. "But you never speak Turkish in class!"

"That would be because it's an ENGLISH class!" I said.

So then I did as I was told, and the afternoon 1-2-1 cancelled anyway, so I went down and met Barıs off the ferry at Bostancı and we walked by the sea in the sun, stopping at various intervals so I could coat myself in more factor 50. this led to vague problems along the lines of:

"We can't stop here, because those men will look at your legs."

"So what?" I said, "You're here so they're not going to try anything."

"I don't like to share," he said. (Typical Turk!)

I said, "Look at it this way. If they're looking at me, they're looking at you too, and they can see I'm with you, so they know they're never even going to have a chance, so nyah."

Which mollified him somewhat, but mostly because he was too busy laughing at my latest grammatical failures.

He also thinks I'm more interesting than the football, which is a bonus, but he was probably just checking I wasn't eating all the food while he wasn't looking.

*

Osman came in this morning and announced to that England had lost, to which I replied that I knew, thank you, and how was he getting on with watching the football.

"There are four games," he said, "And I watched - four games."

"Hmm," I said, "And what does your wife think about that?"

He looked very sheepish. "My wife came home form work and I went to my neighbour's."

Then I went to the dentist who talked me into having a filling. He took pictures with a little camera and showed me where the old filling was coming loose. Interesting in a very ew kind of a way. Back there for more pain on Friday.

* posted by nat 11:41 AM

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Badgers. Football. Not the thing to get into your head first thing in the morning!

It is lovely and hot here, finally. 33C today, says the forecast, and for the first time I didn't need my jacket when I walked into school this morning. I am showing my pasty white legs off to the world. Heh heh.

Anyhow, as I have 30 minutes to put together a 3 hour lesson I'd better go and start chopping up pieces of paper. Am TEFL goddess!

ETA: Have introduced the other people here to the badgers. Instant addiction! Argh!

* posted by nat 7:27 AM

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Still very much in like! *glows stupidly* Still, I'll spare you all and talk about other things.

Just back from an afternoon picnic in Fenerbahçe park with the girls from the morning Int class. We had fun. Gonca tried to adopt every baby, dog or even cat that we walked past, and the rest of us laughed at her. That was mostly it! We also bought plenty of jewellery between us - I have two new ankle chains now (I am still a little bitter about losing my old one that jangled when I walked, but everyone else is relieved, I'm sure!)

Now I'm back for a little bit of planning before I go home to sleep. Too many nights out have finally got the better of me. I am keeping my phone studiously turned off in case anyone tries to drag me out!

We are having a Euro 2004 sweepstake (16 teachers, 16 teams - coincidence?) and I have paid my 2 million and drawn Sweden. Given I had just about made up my mind to flag wave for the Czech Republic I am now in a bit of a quandry!

* posted by nat 2:09 PM

Friday, June 11, 2004

If I have been here since ten o'clock, will anyone care if I skit off, um, now? All I have achieved today is cleaning out my locker, but since that means I have catalogued about twenty lessons' worth of YL stuff, I feel I have achieved.

I have also been to meet Yasmin's dentist. He is rather sweet. So I am having a check-up on Monday.

I also find I am rather hungry, but since all I've eaten today is four apricots and half a dozen cherries, that would make sense.

I think I'll do another hour of work and then run away.

* posted by nat 11:39 AM

Thursday, June 10, 2004

This is another post coming to you to tell you that I do not have time to make a proper post.

Tuesday was Troy, which is gorgeous, and fully lends itself to flights of the imagination, projective city reconstruction, and much wandering, mumbling and meandering... not that I ever need an excuse to do that!

The parents have gone and taken a lot of my stuff with them (including most of my Kapadokya pottery, which I will panic about until I know it is home in one piece) and I have been sulking all day. Now I have to go and teach a new 1-2-1 followed by the two politically-minded design engineers (Yay!). My new timetable is full of 1-2-1s - but I suppose this gets me out of teaching intensives. I think I have the better end of the deal!

ETA: 1-2-1 no show (yay!) and no explanation (grr). Did some standby, go me!

* posted by nat 2:25 PM

Monday, June 07, 2004

Yesterday I went to Gulhane Park again and promptly fell asleep. Again!

I could make a habit of this!

Later a whole bunch of us went up to Taksim for Jeremy's birthday which involved beer, kalanar, and also a quick visit to Mado's - the chestnut ice-cream there is gorgeous!

It was also the last day of kids, so we watched Aladdin and I got heaps of flowers and Hazar's parents gave me Kutahya porcelan Turkish coffee cups and the parents got all weepy and there was much impromptu hugging. Wah.

* posted by nat 8:17 AM

Sunday, June 06, 2004

You'll all no doubt be pleased to know that Harry Potter nitpickers exist the world over - the people both next to and behind me on Friday night spent the interval muttering about what had been changed! I was fine with the changes for the most part. If you haven't seen the film yet, mild spoilers follow:

I was fine until they misspelt 'Moony' on the Marauder's Map, and then I started sulking. Also: that was not a werewolf. No. No. No.

I loved the cinamatography, the changes of seasons, the way the tiny birds kept flying into the Whomping Willow and - bam! Movie Hermione is an annoying little cow, but the boys are so much better - Ron has almost two facial expressions now!

And, of course, Remus/Sirius OTP! (Old Married Couple! Absolutely!)

*

Yesterday we had the Parents' Meeting of the adorable lovely weekend class. It went like this:
Parents: Our child loves your lessons.
Me: I want to adopt your children!
Parents: We keep trying to go away for the weekend but the kids want to come to class.
Me: Your children are only holding out for more Wallace and Gromit.
Parents: They'll be so sad you're leaving next year.
Me: Don't be silly. Kids get over these things very fast.
Parents: Can they write to you?
Me: Please don't force them! But yes...

Then I rushed over to the other side to meet Barıs and we went wandering in Gulhane Park then went and drank tea and played tavla (I won! go me!) and then wandered very slowly up to Taksim. Which all in all took about six hours. When we were crossing the road by Sirkeci over the pedestrian bridge; when you get to the top you can suddenly see across the Golden Horn and over to the other side, which is a wonderful view at night with all the lights an the way they reflect all over the water, and he stopped, and said, 'Ah, bu sehri seviyorum!'

I made inarticulate squeaking noises, because that's exactly what I say every time I see it!

I think I'm in like. Mmm.

Eeee - time for class.

* posted by nat 7:27 AM

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Bargaining, Part 2

Last week we poked our nose inside the Sandalye Bedesten in the Grand Bazaar en route to the kilim deal and several of the sellers tried to entice us in further. I said I'd come back later. They said 'Do you promise?' and I said 'Insallah'.

So the weather wasn't bad and I felt like going shopping, so I tried other bits of the market area (hammocks! lots of hammocks!), had random conversations with men selling bags down back streets, wandered round the top end of the Grand Bazaar and bought some large leather cushion-type things, then went down to the Hippodrome for lunch. While I was having lunch it occurred to me that I might go jewellery shopping, or at least to find someone to mend my bracelet. So off I went back to the Bazaar.

The actual people who'd tried to get me in the week before didn't have anything I actually wanted, so then I went to the little stall I'd bought the bracelet in question from a year ago, although it wasn't run by the same person any more, and he didn't have any of the same bracelet in question. However he was 1) cute and 2) friendly and 3) decidedly non-sleazy, which is a rare thing when it comes to stall-holders in the bazaars, so we started chatting and I started looking at bracelets and then I confused him by speaking Turkish (in fact by knowing what his name meant), at which point his friend turned up and said 'Ha, I know you, you've been here before!' presented me with a rather dead looking rose and then got me a stool to sit down on so I drank apple tea and tried on the contents of the jewellery stall while divulging my latest life story, which, being in the Grand Bazaar, instantly included an imaginary boyfriend.

By this point I'd seen something I wanted, so I had another cup of tea, we got rid of the friend, and then we went in for a decent bargaining session.

He said, for the bracelet and the necklace (which are so gorgeous) - 110 million.

I said. 'Oooh, how about a discount?'

He said, 'What kind of discount?'

I said, 'I'd like a teacher's discount, a local person's discount, a student discount and definitely a friendship discount'.

He punched several random numbers into the calculator, muttered something about not being used to selling in TL, and said, 'Ninety.'

I thought, oh dear, you have a really nice smile, I'm not going to be able to keep this up...

I said, 'Oh dear, how much is it for just the bracelet?'

He said, 'But you want them both!'

So we ummed and we aahed and he said 'Did you have a price in mind?' and I said, 'Well, sixty or seventy,' and he said, 'Seventy-five' and I said 'It really can't be seventy? It's Wednesday,' and then he said 'Do you want to share my lunch with me?' and I said, 'No, I've already eaten, but I'll have another a cup of tea and you can have the seventy-five.'

His friend turned up and said, 'Gosh, you're good, I wouldn't've gone below eighty.'

So they ate lunch and I drank tea and we chatted and then he said, 'Do you smoke nargile?' and I said 'Mmmm,' and he said, 'And play tavla?' and I said 'Ooooh!' and he said, 'How about now?' and I said 'Whee!'

So then I won the tavla game 6-4, and we sat outside in the rain under a litte canopy and smoked apple nargile, and did a quick volte-face on the imaginary boyfriend issue, spent the next three hours chatting (well, mostly chatting) to him and we are going to see each other again at the weekend.

I blame the nargile, it makes me go all loopy.

I would also like to note that it takes me not even 72 hours on giving notice on moving out of my flat and thus starting to make things final to actually meet someone. Typical!

* posted by nat 2:10 PM

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

The kilim story has now been pared down, in the manner of told and re-told stories, because everyone wants to know the story, and as far as I am concerned it deflects attention from the 'Why are you leeeeeaaaving?' questions, for which I cannot quite come up with a good answer, and just depresses me. I have now handed in notice on my flat, and things are beginning to look actual, and inevitable.

Last Wednesday we wandered up through the bazaar district, consuming baklava on the way and then eating through a bag of figs while bargaining for underwear, leather cushion covers and charcoal. We reached Divan Yolu, and it was hot and sunny and time to find somewhere to sit down, so off we went to the nargile cafe the name of which I can never quite remember. It's a lovely medrese, though, a courtyard cafe with kilim-covered seats and the little domes above all painted where we just kick back, drink apple tea and start a nargile: strawberry and very potent.

So after we had happily puffed away for a good half an hour and were starting to feel slightly light-headed, I decided it was time to go for another round of kilim-shopping, which is a post-nargile habit I seem to have got into. I tried a different room this time round, one I hadn't been into before, and aside from the usual show of Kayseri carpets there was a lovely mid-blue one with plenty of trees and mountains, more Kapadokya-kind of colours. So I ummed and I ahhed and I chatted a little with the man selling, then we took it outside to look at the colours in the natural light so Katka and Jana could look at it.

"It's got holes in!" said Jana. "Discount for the holes!"

After I assured her that the holes are meant to be there we manouevred it back inside and we had the first go at price.

"Normally I would say 200 million, but because you live here I can make a good price? one hundred and sixty."

I looked wibbly for a bit, said I couldn't possibly pay more than seventy, looked wibbly for a few more moments, sighed philosophically and left to drink more apple tea. He peered out the window at us while Jana looked at the different nargiles, and then after about fifteen minutes came and sat down by us and said, "How about one hundred and ten?"

So the three of us went into the shop. "Fifty dollars!" said Katka, and off we went.

"Are you staying with your friend?"

"Oh, she's not our friend, she just found us on the street and she offered us a place to stay."

"We got talking... we are camping in the garden behind her apartment."

Jana, entirely straight=faced, claimed to be from Ulaan Baator and to be a horse-dealer back home. Katka claimed to be a housewife from Eastern Turkestan. "I make carpets like these for a living and we sell them for thirty dollars, this is why I am telling you fifty is a good price! And this is Natasha."

I squeaked. "I'm not Natasha!" They looked confused. I explained what Natasha meant, and there we a good deal of apologising and lots of laughter. "Okay, Natalka."

"You can let her have it for a good price," said Jana, "Then go off and cheat some silly rich tourist. You must see a lot of them, right. She is just a poor teacher!"

Afater about half an hour of this we thought we might be winning. The poor man was beginning to look a bit cornered. He went back to talking to me in Turkish. "I can't say less than 110. We buy them for about 90."

"I'm not paying more than 80," I said, "I can't, I haven't got it!"

Katka and Jana just kept at it. "Fifty dollars, fifty dollars, look, here's a tiny pulled thred, DISCOUNT!!!"

"One hundred," said the man.

"Ninety," I said.

He looked pained. "I take ten for the conversation, because it is fun, but now we must be serious..."

So we went on and on.

"You can give it for /forty/ dollars," said Katka, in a flash of brilliance and a big wide smile.

"Ninety-five?" he tried.

"Ninety," I said.

"Ninety!" he said.

So I paid ninety (which is approximately sixty dollars), and it was packaged up in a bit of brown paper without any string, and we drank scalding hot tea, and then I legged it down the hill to the ferry, and missed it, and had to cool my heels, and got home two minutes before my parents turned up, and told them I had bought a kilim, and mother wanted me to get it out there and then on the street.

All my students are very impressed with my bargaining skills, and everyone says it's a very good price, so obviously we did well!

* posted by nat 8:07 PM