By the Mid 1980's there was quite a
burgeoning Garage Music Scene in Edinburgh. As well as The Green
Telescope (who would soon be renamed The Thanes) there was also The
Rubber Dolfinarium (soon to be renamed The Beeville Hive V) & the Lukes of Us (later renamed The Junkyard Things & eventually The Offhooks). The latest band to join the scene were The Stayrcase.
All of these bands had one thing in common, Lenny Helsing, as he
played a part in all of them (usually on drums).
Calum & Me were really getting into the
groove of this music, so we eventually said to ourselves, whatever
they can do we can do as well. Teaming up with a friend of ours
called Andy Akhtar we decided we were going to form a band. It
was all very punk rock, but I suppose that's how most bands start out,
that is, seeing their heroes & wanting to emulate them. Calum &
Andy could both play guitar, so Calum played Rhythm Guitar while Andy
took over on lead. For the only reason that the only instrument
I could play was recorder (LOL) I think I became the singer by
default, although I much prefer vocalist.
We were still short of a drummer, bass &
keyboard player, but at a concert we bumped into this mod looking guy
called Nick Kennedy, who, as it happened could play keyboards.
We told him we were forming a band & asked if he would like to join.
He said that would be cool & amazingly enough he knew a guy who could
play drums, Derek Irvine & a bassist, Ainslie Kerr. We were now
a six piece band & set about feverishly practising our sound.
This was late 1986.
Our
first practice room was in the Washroom's at Abbeyhill in Edinburgh,
indeed during my whole period with the band we rehearsed there.
I recently found some really amusing tapes dating from 3rd August &
14th September 1987 plus one which is undated. These tapes are interesting as they give a
snap shot of our early set. The only original song we appear to
have had at that time was a number by Me & Calum called "I won't take
her back". The song was a classic tale of a guy who finds out
his girlfriend has been cheating on him & then following an argument
he kills her only to be haunted by her vengeful spirit through
eternity. We recorded this song on our first demo. Our set
was mainly covers in the days before we did any gigs & cover versions
we did in our early gigs included "Be a caveman" by The Avengers,
"Let's go in '69" by The Customs V, "The Phantom" by Larry & the Blue
Notes, "Born Loser" by Murphy & the Mob, an insane version of "(I'm
not your) stepping stone" which made the Sex Pistols seem like a bunch
of pussies (chuckle), "I never loved her" by The Starfires, "Pop Kat"
by The Lincolns, "Friday at the hideout" by The Underdogs, "She's
mine" by The Count V, "Wild Man" by The Tamrons & "Night of Misery" by
The Counts. Nick even sang on a couple of songs which we never
performed, namely the classic "Hey Joe" & "Come see me" by The Pretty
Things. Other songs we tried out but never covered were
"Roadrunner" & "Feel it" by It's all meat from Pebbles 8.
We got our first chance to play live in
August 1987. We had gone to see a gig by Mood Six at The
Venue, who The Thanes, recently renamed from The Green Telescope, were
supporting, plus The Beat Poets, however Mood Six pulled
out at the last minute & Lenny of The Thanes asked us if we'd like to
do a few numbers.
The second practice
(that I can date) I have
by the band on tape dates from not long after that gig, as we mention
the gig on the cover of the CD. We were still called Calum & The Caveteens when we did that first gig. Again I
just found this recently. It's a really interesting document
from those days.
We took the stage by storm that night &
had played at least two songs before somebody told us they hadn't
turned the microphones on yet. There was me jumping around the
stage like a mad thing & looking like a real idiot!
Our first 'headlining' gig was on
Wednesday October 28th at The Cavern in the Cowgate area of the City.
As I recall our set that night consisted of: Do the Pterodaktyl; Be a
caveman; Wild man; Born loser; I won't take her back; The phantom; I
never loved her; My heart is in despair; Pop kat; Let's go in '69;
Friday at the hideout; The kid from Cinncy; (I'm not your) Stepping
stone & a reprise of Do the Pterodaktyl.
The club was owned by shifty looking Moroccan dudes, but they agreed
to let us play without hearing a demo so play we did. I remember
they weren't going to pay us that night, until I threw up all over the
bar & all of our buddies turned up to make sure we did get paid.
Those were the days! I think for that gig we got the grand total
of £25. You really ought not to laugh as that was a fortune in
those days! I have to say as well that this £25 was between 6 of
us so it wasn't even a fiver each, still at least we all got one pint
out of it!
We played countless concerts after that,
more often than not with The 16 Dillons, in
a variety of venues which included Student's Unions & the legendary
Blues Basement!
The Blues Basement was at the top of
Broughton Street in Edinburgh & was notorious for running out of beer
glasses. The part the bands played in was at the back of the bar
& was about the size of the average living room. It was dark,
sweaty & often smelled of hash, drink & sick (in no fixed order).
It's one of those venues that just simply attracted stories. I
remember somebody spilled their drink on the sound desk once & screwed
it up. You were literally playing right into people's faces!
It didn't matter that we never ever got paid for our gigs there.
The very fact we could play there at all was all that mattered.
One of the finest Pterodaktyls gigs with me as the singer was the
Christmas Party there on Christmas Eve 1987. We played with The Stayrcase
there on the 30th December 1987 & it was another great gig for us at
which we blew them away that night!
We recorded a four song demo on an eight
track recording machine in The Thanes practice room. We used to
have a room just along from theirs in Blair Street (which we shared
with Johnny & The Deadbeats). The rooms
were in an almost condemned building, but after a complete revamp they
are now used as a Sauna! Chuckle...to think we once practised in
what is now a legalised knocking shop. How Rock 'n Roll is that?
When they were redeveloped we moved around the corner to the even
worse practice rooms at Niddrie Street, just around the corner. Those songs
were three originals (My heart is in despair, I won't take her back &
My baby's an angel) & one cover version (Let's go in '69). It
was a pretty ropey demo, but some of the songs, especially I won't
take her back, turned out alright. Other original songs from the
original line up included "Do the Pterodaktyl", "Girl, get out of my
world", "Be my baby again" & "I met the devil".
We even managed to play outside Edinburgh,
supporting The Thanes in Bonnyrigg, Midlothian on November 13th 1987.
I think that gig was most notable by the fact we got out of there
alive. We were playing to a rough crowd of miners at a miners
benefit & we were all really drunk or stoned by the time we hit the
stage. I think the set wasn't too long, but it seemed to go on
forever. I am not so sure that Bonnyrigg in 1987 was quite ready
for our style of loud rock & roll! Then there was the
embarrassment of having to ask the audience were my 'harp' was & all
the time it was right behind me on the stage. I was WASTED
seriously!
Inevitably tensions built within the band
& this led me to leaving the group in April 1988. I suppose if
we had put the band together now at our current age we would just have
laughed at the disagreements which led to me parting ways with the
group, but we were young, headstrong & foolish. My last gig with
the group was at Moray House Student Union supporting The Stayrcase. It was perhaps the finest gig I had done with the band
so at least I bowed out on a high note.
After leaving the band I formed another
band along with Andy & Calum called
Johnny & The Deadbeats. Andy & Calum
meanwhile continued with the Pterodaktyls & Calum took over vocal
duties whilst his girlfriend of the time Clare took over on guitar.
The last
time I played anywhere live was around 1993/ 1994 when a guy who used
to put on a lot of the gigs in the band days was emigrating to
Amsterdam. There was a farewell party for him & Andy, Calum,
Nick (from the Pterodaktyls) & Lenny Helsing were there. Somehow
we managed to cobble a few songs together from the old days of The
Pterodaktyls, such as The Avengers "Be A Caveman" & we went down
really well considering we hadn't played with each other in a good few
years. Since then things have been quiet, but if you have a
Garage Band & you need a singer who's been there...drop me an e-mail,
there's life in this old Garage Dog yet!
Calum's story
It all seems
so long ago now… Was it really 1983 when I first saw the Green
Telescope (now the Thanes) and the Rubber Dolfinarium (later the
Beeville Hive V)? That would have made me all of fourteen. It’s a
miracle they ever let me in…
I remember going to see
both bands rocking at the Waterloo Bar in Edinburgh’s East End in the
summer of 84. Easy to remember – it was the same summer I lost my
virginity. The trick here was to arrive as early as possible (i.e.
before the bouncers) and lurk in a dark corner, getting friends who
looked a bit older to order drinks for me. Gigs at the Waterloo Bar
attracted a strange mixture of scruffy hippies and immaculately
dressed 60s revivalists, not to mention a bizarre transvestite in a
red mini dress who would scream ‘get ‘em off!’ at the bands. Both
bands were still in their psychedelic phase, covering copious amounts
of Elevators songs, and performing with a full light show. The punkier
Stayrcase also used to perform there. To an impressionable fifteen
year old, the impact was huge. This was real rock ‘n’ roll!
The actual meeting with
Johnny Watson I have absolutely no recollection of whatsoever,
although I think Andy Akhtar, who I knew from school, may have
introduced us. Johnny and I used to fantasise about forming a band of
our own. Lenny Helsing of the Green Telescope/Thanes used to encourage
us all the time. ‘When are you guys gonna get a beat group together?’
he would drawl.
By 1986, the Rubber
Dolfinarium had switched singer and changed name to The Beeville Hive
V. Despite being a great band, their new singer, Trevor ‘Smout’
Davidson, gradually became disillusioned and quit. Band leader Angus
McPake (now of the Thanes) approached me and asked me to replace him.
We spent the summer practising, and despite a shaky start the other
guys encouraged me by comparing me to Wild Billy Childish. A set,
including a great version of The Seeds’ ‘Evil Hoodoo’ (with Angus
playing fuzzed-out lead bass), started to take form. But sadly all
this work came to nothing. The rot within the band was deeper than I’d
realised, Smout was far from being the only disillusioned band member,
and after a couple of ‘practices’ where I was the only one who
actually turned up, I had to face facts. It was all over, before it
had ever really started. But the damage had been done – I had gotten
the ‘garage disease’ for good, and had now gained the confidence to do
something about it.
As I remember it, The
Pterodaktyls didn’t take shape until spring 1987. I had just turned
18, and was getting desperate to form a band. I was already 18,
goddamn it! If I didn’t get a band together quickly I would soon be
too old! The Pterodaktyls were formed, and our ages ranged between 17
and 21. We took the name from an episode of ‘The Flintstones’, and
even wrote an instrumental, ‘Do the Pterodaktyl’ which we would use to
open and close our sets. Originally we were called Calum and the
Caveteens, but we quickly rejected this in favour of the Pterodaktyls.
I still remember that
first gig, although as I recall it, it was Glasgow surf
instrumentalists the Beat Poets who were playing. Lenny and Bruce
Lyall of the Thanes all but forced us up on stage. We borrowed the
Thanes’ instruments and let rip. Unfortunately we neglected to tune
them first! And Johnny’s nervous fumbling with the microphone resulted
in him actually singing the first song or two into a switched-off
mike! We were nervous as hell, and played worse than a typical
practice session. Despite this, the audience actually seemed to like
us, and applauded wildly. I couldn’t believe it! What a kick! We even
got to play one of our 4 or 5 numbers again, with vocals this time!
But apparently the Beat Poets were less than impressed…
More gigs followed. The
Blues Basement was just as Johnny describes it: smaller than most
people’s living rooms, filled with the aroma of spilt beer, sweat and
hash. The ‘stage’ consisted of a beer-soaked rug at one end of the
back room. I remember supporting the Stayrcase there. I borrowed a
Selmar amp belonging guitarist Alan McLean (also of, you guessed it,
The Thanes), and played a gig with the volume set on 2. Alan played
with it jammed all the way up at 10, feeding back like hell. The
Stayrcase were LOUD. The other thing about the Blues Basement was that
it was usually so dark that you could hardly see the guitar in front
of your eyes. Which was good cover for all the hash smokers. I taped
one of our gigs there, and could hear members of the audience passing
joints around: “Fancy a wee hit on this?” “Naw, man, I’m already
stoned out of my face…”
Another time I went to
see the Thanes playing at Calton Studios with Ramones cover band, The
Cretins, only to discover that several of the Thanes had failed to
turn up. However, Lenny, enthusiastic as ever, asked if the
Pterodaktyls could play, even though Ainslie and Derek weren’t there.
But we did it anyway. Lenny filled in on drums, and Nick played bass.
Johnny and I shared vocals as we were borrowing the Cretins’ gear and
they only had one guitar. It was a blast! Using the Cretins’ equipment
gave us a much punkier sound than we had otherwise. Definitely a fun
experiment.
Johnny eventually left
the band after a series of arguments with Derek and Ainslie. As he
says, these were probably just petty adolescent rows. I felt Johnny
had been treated badly, and agreed to join his new combo, Johnny and the Deadbeats.
So did Andy. However, neither of us felt strongly enough about it to
quit the Pterodaktyls. My experience with the Beeville Hive V had
given me the confidence to sing, but I wasn’t up to both singing and
playing guitar at the same time. The other band members wanted to keep
the powerful two guitar/organ line-up we already had, so I suggested
my current girlfriend Clare Scrivener as new rhythm guitarist.
There then followed
another demo session, this time in a real studio, Chamber Studios,
where the Thanes usually recorded. In fact it was in Chamber Studios
that I first heard the Thanes’ classic track ‘I’ll Rest’, which they
had just recorded there. The new demo consisted of a new version of
‘My Heart is in Despair’. This was the first song we wrote that
we were really happy with – I remember the first time we played it, we
all looked at each other and said ‘Yeah! This’ll be the single!’ In
addition, we recorded a cover of the Counts’ ‘Night of Misery’, and
two more originals, ‘Bad Girl’ (which Nick wrote) and ‘Wendy the
Werewolf’. This was a tune that Ainslie brought to a rehearsal, but
without any words. Nick sat on the floor and quickly wrote some dumb
lyrics just so that I’d have something to sing, saying ‘We’ll change
it later’…. Which of course never happened. The chorus of howling at
the end was inspired by The Frantics’ ‘Werewolf’ and was later totally
ripped off by our pals and rivals The Spooks.
Despite the dumb lyrics,
I’m still quite proud of that second demo, and sometimes still play it
at parties, after a few beers… Our high-energy cover of ‘Night of
Misery’ certainly surpasses the original! In fact it sometimes amazes
me that we played so fast – and at the time I remember being
disappointed that the studio version was so slow and tame compared to
how we usually sounded live!
Despite mild interest from
DDT Records, who had put out records by the Thanes and Offhooks, the
demo failed to get us anywhere.
One of the best gigs we
did at this point was in a disused Catholic primary school on Drummond
Street during the Edinburgh Festival. The promoters had hired it from
the council and erected a stage in the dining hall. But the original
toilets were still there, constructed on a scale suitable for a 5 year
old, which meant taking a trip to the gents’ was a slightly weird
experience. The gig got a great turnout, and we rampaged our way
through two thundering sets, a short one composed of just fast
numbers, followed by a break, then a longer set with more of a mixture
of fast and slow (or at least not so fast) ones. At this point we were
doing stuff like ‘Buzz the Jerk’ (Pretty Things), ‘Black-Hearted
Woman’ (Standells), ‘Gimme a Break’ (Rooks), ‘Little Girl’ (Them) etc
plus lots of original material. We even hired a professional
photographer to take some pics that night, and almost felt like real
rock & roll stars. We went down a treat, played all our songs, and
ended with a rip-roaring version of the Avengers’ ‘Be a Caveman’, an
old cover from Johnny’s days in the band, as an extra encore. But we’d
forgotten that Clare didn’t know the chords to that one yet, so she
just jumped about and screamed along, guitar hanging round her
shoulders.
After the gig, two very
tasty Italian girls tried to chat Andy up – but for some reason he
didn’t go for it! 15 years later, that still mystifies me!
Another, less successful
gig with that line-up was in Perth, our second and last excursion
outside Edinburgh. We’d been invited to a party after the gig, so we
stopped off at the off-license as we drove up, and everybody bought
large amounts of whisky and vodka. And do you think we waited until we
finished playing before we opened the bottles? By the time we got on
stage we were all smashed. I was so drunk I almost fell off the stage,
and rescued myself by grabbing at a speaker stack, which almost
toppled over itself. The sound crew were not impressed, and the rest
of the gig was plagued by feedback and generally poor sound. Funny
that. I stayed up all night drinking heavily, and finally threw up in
the van on the way home. The other guys chucked me out of the van on
Princes Street on a sunny Saturday morning, where I was violently sick
again, much to the dismay of some passing American tourists. Oh well,
at least I didn’t have to clean up the hire van…
More personnel changes
followed, as Andy decided to chuck it in, also following a series of
disagreements with other band members. He and I continued to play
together in Johnny and the
Deadbeats, however. Andy’s replacement was Ross Gallander, who had
previously been in the Beeville Hive V. Ross had a condition, though –
he would only join if his girlfriend Anna Watkins could be in the band
too. Anna had played guitar in The Vultures, with Ian Binns of the
Stayrcase and Thanes on drums. They used to do a wild version of ‘Jack
the Ripper’, which got slagged off by Barbara Ellen in the NME. I
still regret not buying their record… Anyway, Anna joined on backing
vocals and we became a seven piece. For one gig. Personal
disagreements followed, and Ross and Anna quit.
After that we didn’t take
on any new members. Nick switched between keyboard, guitar and
harmonica as necessary. However, band members were unhappy with the
somewhat jokey name we had, and so we changed to the tougher sounding
Heretics, unaware that at least two other bands were also using that
name.
One memorable gig from
this line-up was supporting some forgettable indie band at the Moray
House student union. All the desperately trendy indie kids were a bit
unsure of what to make of us, and at the end of every song I could see
them all looking around, trying to see if any of the really cool
people were clapping before they reacted. It’s ironic, really because
all of these NME reading types are now claiming they were always into
garage rock. At that time, current media favourites like Billy
Childish and Mick Collins were releasing some great, classic albums –
which were of course completely dismissed as ‘lame 60s revivalism’ by
those self-same hopelessly uninformed London journalists… Anyway, The
Thanes had hurried back from a European tour so that they would make
it to our gig in time, and they were not disappointed - Lenny compared
us to the Chesterfield Kings that night. High praise indeed.
We also did a few
memorable gigs with the Beatpack, up from London. That was always fun.
They were always wild and enthusiastic, and were a great live band,
not least because they had three genuine extroverts on vocals, guitar
and bass, who would always be trying to upstage one another. And the
drummer wasn’t exactly shy either. Unfortunately, none of their
records really captures just how good they were live.
Well, all good things must
end, and eventually the Heretics decided to call it a day. Having
spent the last two years playing in the same venues supporting the
same bands and having hardly ever played outside Edinburgh, people
were getting disillusioned. I was keen to carry on, and so was Clare,
but the others were fed up. A split was inevitable.
Nick was of course a
member of the Thanes later on, while Clare formed girl band Sally
Skull who released two must-have singles in the mid-nineties.
Johnny Watson &
Calum McDonald @2004
