Lustrous
The tears roll down my face,
My heart falls out of place,
My sullen lips try to speak your name,
To tell you love is not a game,
I look into the mirror,
And I hate what I see,
Why couldn’t you just love me for me?
Now crouched down on the bathroom floor,
Tearing at my hair,
What happened to our love?
Was it even there?
Kicking and screaming,
Cutting to the nerve,
Was this guy what I deserve?
Standing on the balcony now,
Looking down below,
Shaking with intensity,
Ready to take the plunge,
I took it,
Was lust worth this much?
Deanna Jovanelly
9/8/02
One Way Ticket To Hell
I try to stop it but I can't
Like salt on an open wound
Is death coming soon?
Everything seems upside down
The room is spinning round and round
The walls are closing in on me
What happened to being free?
Blood is dripping from my wrists
I’m pounding the floor with my fists
The anger the fury
The fire its burning
No water just gas
Its igniting so fast
No doors in this cell
In the pits of hell
I’ve lost all that is good
I’ve forgotten all that is sane
Now all I know is pain
Deanna Jovanelly
9/8/02
Waiting Tears
Here I stand
On a road to a dead end
I’m crying in the rain
No one knows my pain
I don’t know where you are
Whether near or far
Where’s the one for me
This is what I plea
Where is that special someone
The one meant for me
While I’m crying in the rain
Not knowing what to do
I wonder how long I’ll have to wait for you.
Deanna Jovanelly
9/8/02
My Nightmare
You left me standing in a puddle of tears,
My screaming is ringing in my ears,
My whole life is washed away,
All because you could not stay,
I love you more than you could know,
My tears won’t stop ‘cause you had to go,
I thought of us together,
And had envisioned forever,
Forever like my love for you,
Now I don’t know what to do,
I cannot love another being,
Loving you is all I’m seeing,
My world is completely shattered,
Penetrating my heart like a dagger,
I cried and pleaded and hoped and prayed,
Only for you to have stayed,
Thousands of miles between us,
My life is split in two,
The pain and tears are here with me,
But my heart and soul I gave to you,
With infinite love came infinite tears,
Of which will last me infinite years,
You’re all I think of day and night,
I want so bad to hold you tight,
My fever has risen to one hundred and four,
Just as the day you walked out the door,
The tears still streaming down my cheeks,
My eyes bloodshot for many weeks,
Through the tears I manage to say,
‘This isn’t supposed to be this way,
No, he was supposed to stay’
Deanna Jovanelly
Jan. 9, 2003
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