FINE ~ This is the word we use at the end of any
argument that we feel we are right about but need to
shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman
looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.
FIVE MINUTES ~ This is half an hour. It is equivalent
to the five minutes that your football game is going
to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that
it's an even trade.
NOTHING ~ If you ask her what is wrong and she says
NOTHING, this means something and you should be on
your toes. NOTHING is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last FIVE MINUTES and
end with the word FINE.
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) ~ This is a dare. One
that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING
and will end with the word FINE.
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) ~ This means "I give up" or
"do what you want because I don't care." You will get
a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you
in about FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH ~ This is not actually a word, but is still
often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A
"Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.
SOFT SIGH ~ Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY ~ This is one of the most dangerous
statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's
Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you retributions for whatever it is that
you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the
word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised
eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near future
when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be
in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO ~ This is not a statement, it is an offer. A
woman is giving you the chance to come up with
whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever
it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth,
so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay."
THANKS ~ A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just
say "you're welcome."
THANKS A LOT ~ This is much different from "Thanks." A
woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really
ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the
"Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."