To begin, I hate George Bush. I hate everything he does. I hate the way he looks like a little horny monkey. I hate the way he thinks the rules don't apply to him. I'd like him to die in a really painful manner. Look at his face. Who wouldn't want to punch him really hard?

I went to my local newsagents the other day, run by a Pakistani family. When I got to the shop, I asked a woman next to me what she would think if I pulled everything from the shelves and maimed the shopkeepers' children. She told me she'd be horrified and call the police, but I did it anyway. I'm sure they had weapons, and I KNOW the shopkeeper has hit his kids.

About ten minutes later, the police arrived and put me in cuffs. I don't get it. I told them that Bush attacked a bunch of little brown people and people applauded him. Where's my kudos? Why am I typing this from a cell? Fucking double standards.

I urge you to take part in a mass protest against 'President' Bush. I want everyone who reads this to send a piece of mail to the White House containing a small amount of your own faeces. I'm sure this would be illegal, but I don't give a damn. Here's the address: -

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

If you find this a little too extreme, you can simply indicate how worthless you think this man is by sending him a friendly e-mail at The White House

Disclaimer - the faeces mail is obviously a joke - I do not advocate any form of illegal/disgusting activity. Quit sending me mail telling me how you're gonna do it - it's nasty.