A Sorry Tale.
"Why did they ever let him in the band in the first place ?"
It couldn't have been for his musical contribution, could it ? - And did you ever hear the pillock sing ? - Bloody painful, wasn't it ? - That's if you could actually hear him . . . It cannot be denied that, in the vocal department, he never did come close to raising a stonker, did he ?
No, the truth is that he only got into the band because Sean, the natural first choice, was away troubadouring in green pastures at the time. Old Thewlis was a handy stop-gap so that the others could be taxied up the North East now and again for odd gigs. And now that his taxi's not needed anymore, the rest of the band hatched the plot to get him out by pointing their amps directly at where he would be standing on stage and deafening the old fart into two falls, two submissions or a knock-out.
It didn't seem to be working at first, so they got Mickey out of his box one last time to pump up the decibel count a while back. Mickey didn't let them down !! - You could tell the old boy was reeling from then onwards, so the lads went in for the kill.
The plan worked a treat, and Davey finished him off spectacularly at The Melborn gig by blowing him into the next room. Out for the count !
And that's Far Out ! - Now the old git claims he's lost the ability to tell Talk from Mutter ! - Huh ! - Just one more thing for him to witter about . . as usual.
Do you know, he was even daft enough to think there was anybody who read this Bag o'Bones junk that he wrote. Even the band members never read it, and if there's anybody still reading this far in . . . but there isn't, is there ? - So this is likely to be the last Bag O'Bones. - Yeah ! - What a really stupid old tosser he was. Thewlis was clearly "
The Other One" in the band. He had to die . . Good riddance.The Last PostScript :
"Why do I write about shit
What's the attraction in it
Is my mind constipated
Am I anally fixated
And why won't this cucumber fit ?"
. . . but you'll 'ave ter speyk oop . . .
Think on, you Young 'Uns !
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T
innitus Hurts. Excess Watts Leave Indelible Scars.* *
Clocking off now . . . The Phoenix Asteroids are taking me with them . . .
IS there anybody out there ?
If so, say a prayer for us, eh ?
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bee __________________________________________ _ _ _ p !
I'm gone.
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Thewlis (1997-2000)
R I P
still farting though, but . .
Sorry Timmy !
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Pps . . . You Know He Had To Die . . .
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