"Ages Of Man...aka...dillywhacking Time"

At seventeen his eyes would follow
closely every female form
many a happy hour he spent
keyhole spying on the girls dorm
his jeans seemed to bulge
exactly when they shouldn`t
he tried to keep sex off his mind,
but found he simply couldn`t

At that age if someone offered him a choice
of menu this would be a winner
give him sex for his breakfast,
sex for his lunch and sex for f**fing dinner!!
but his capacity in those days
for pulling even easy girls was lacking
so most of his time was spent in his room
giving his dilly some whacking

At twenty five, more confident,
with some experience (under his belt)
he very wisely decided on his new philosophy,
yes, it was time he felt,
To do what all intelligent sensitive men do...
screw as many girls in his life
as he could before he finally settled down
with a sweet virgin for a wife.

At thirty he found her,
well not quite what he thought he`d find
no virgin, but what the hell
she could shag and cook so he didn`t mind
Up the aisle he took her
put the ring on her finger swore the sacred vow
(while she was smiling to herself and thinking...
right I`ve got the b*****d now!!)

Oh how well it started dinner always on the table,
sex three times a night
man!! he thought..this marriage thing is really great,
really outta sight
Twasnt long though before the four kids
and umpteen headaches came about
and although they stopped her having sex
they didn`t stop her scream and shout.

At forty five, he decided not to stand for it
and got a woman on the side
but the Mrs found out and made his life hell,
it really wasn`t worth the ride
So here he sits at fifty nine
but still feeling like he`s in his younger prime
but instead of having sex, he`s gone full circle,
its back to dilly wacking time!!

©2003 LCB