The moment their lips left each others, they found themselves mirrored in a pair of eyes, widened by emotion and darkened by the thrills coursing through their bodies.
"Um..." Tara began, then stopped. She hung her head, stepping away from Willow. She took a deep breath, raised her eyes to meet Willow's gaze, and tried again. "Um..." It came out exactly the same, frustratingly muted by her own inhibitions. She would have kicked herself if she could have regained basic motor functions.
"Tara," Willow decided to be the one doing the talking. Babbling. Well, making noise anyway. The silence was deafening, and the air between them was practically fizzing with energy. "Look, Tara, don't take this the wrong way...but..." How could she possibly find words to describe how utterly wonderful she was feeling? Words that wouldn't make her sound like she had been thinking about nothing else but this for weeks?
Tara held up a hand (motor functions back to normal, she thankfully noted). It was visibly shaking. "You don't need to say a thing." She managed a whole sentence without choking. "I understand. Honest. I do." She didn't - and probably never would. The redheaded beauty who had invaded her heart had pushed her way into her mind as well; had pervaded every sense. So much so that Tara was in a constant waking/sleeping state of pure Willow-ness. And her heart was beating so hard she was sure Willow could see it pounding in her chest.
"What? Understand what?" Willow took a step closer. She could feel the magick pushing at her, surrounding her, enveloping her. It was the most fantastic feeling she had ever experienced. With Oz, it had always been a physical thrill, a mental thrill...never a spiritual one. Not like this.
Tara hung her head again. The usual stance. If she looked Willow in the eye she was sure that her feeble heart would explode. Stupid, she told herself, stupid for ever thinking someone like her would love you. Stupid for ever believing someone like her would see you as you really are.
"I'm sorry I kissed you." she mumbled, almost to herself. "I'm sorry I ever did that. I just wanted to be near you Willow. I needed to be near you. Can't help it...sorry...."
Willow took another step closer. "Are you?" her voice was incredulous. "Sorry you kissed me? Cuz it didn't feel like you were sorry you kissed me. I mean, I'm not sorry you kissed me. I thought we were friends....no, more than that. I told myself that before, but thought you just wanted..." she stopped herself, realizing how ridiculous she must sound, babbling away whilst Tara looked like a kicked puppy.
Again, the silence roared.
Willow put her hand on Tara's shoulder and was amazed to feel the girl flinch, as though she had been punched.
"Tara, it's okay." she said softly, wishing that she could brush away the hurt as easily as brushing back the ash-blonde hair from her face.
"No. It's not." Tara answered. She raised her head and her eyes were wet with tears. "It's not." she repeated.
Willow put her arms around the shivering body and held her close. The light engulfed them, writhing its way around their bodies, so tightly held together by Willow's embrace. In that closeness, in that moment, their hearts beat in time. They both felt it, and gasped as the thrill raced around their minds, throwing pictures of them together into the imagination.
The red haired Wiccan closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the woman she had come to love....hold on, she froze. What did she just say? Love? No-one mentioned the 'L' word.... Willow held her breath for a single moment before the truth reasserted itself into her heart. Yeah. Love. Why not? A smile spread across her lips before she kissed the neck against her cheek. To touch the satin- smooth skin there excited her. A low moan from Tara told her that it was reciprocal.
She felt Tara's arms slide almost shyly around her, and hands move up her back, caressing softly, nervously, but with a sensual lazy touch that quickened the pulse. They drew their heads back and looked deep into each other's eyes. Still no smile from Tara.
"How can you say this is not okay?" Willow smiled, scanning the pure face in front of her with a calming gaze.
"Because it's...." Tara was unable to finish her sentences again, "Well...it's...um....I mean...." now she smiled and shrugged. "It's just that...."
"Just that what?" Willow teased slightly, her fingers massaging the base of Tara's neck. The blonde witch sighed and fluttered her eyes closed for a moment, before snapping them open again.
"I don't want to be without you." she said simply.
"You won't Tara. I'm not going anywhere." Willow replied.
"I didn't want to spoil things."
Willow threw her head back and laughed. "And you think kissing me would spoil things? Do you know how silly that sounds?"
Tara blushed furiously and opened her mouth several times before something finally came out. "I - I - sort of....didn't think you would....well....um....like it." she shrugged.
"I didn't like it." Willow said, her voice lowering to a whisper. She watched Tara's eyes widen, whilst her face fell. "I loved it." she added.
Leaning forward and pressing her lips against Willow's, Tara felt so much love that she thought surely her body must be singing aloud. She cherished the feeling of the silken kiss, the warm sensation it spread throughout her starved body, and the complete oneness it brought to her.
"I love you Willow." she murmured into the other girl's mouth.
Willow sighed from deep within her throat. It was almost like being on a merry-go-round, so dizzy with happiness and joy. She leaned into Tara. "I love you too." she replied.
The End
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