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Tara turned over in bed and gently placed her arm around the still sleeping body beside her. As her eyes opened, she blinked a couple of times at the shaft of sunlight that thrust its way through a chink in the curtains, splaying out across the dark carpet on her floor. She breathed in, sighing out the air as she snuggled closer to the body's warmth, catching that irrepressible scent that meant safety and comfort. Her eyes flickered shut for a second as the thrill leapt through her body. Willow. Beside her. With her. A smile lingered around the corners of her lips as she nuzzled the red hair spread across the pillow. Willow. Just the mere thought of her name sent a chill down Tara's spine, embracing her whole heart in porcelain hands, holding it gently and squeezing ever so slightly.
The redhead in question stirred slightly, mumbling something before she lifted her head. Tara leant up on one elbow and waited whilst Willow, squinting, turned to face her. A smile that clenched at Tara's insides covered Willow's face.
"Hey." the redhead said softly.
"Hey." Tara replied, feeling her fingers against Willow's soft stomach.
"How long have you been awake?" Willow asked.
"Oh...just a couple of minutes. I...uh....I kinda like watching you sleep." Tara whispered.
Willow grinned wider, a shy fleeting expression flicking through her face. "Was I drooling?"
Tara giggled. "No, but I think I was." She leant forward and placed a kiss on Willow's lips. Willow's arms snaked around her neck and held her close. A low murmur escaped her lips.
"Anyway...." Tara leant back. "I should get up. Otherwise..." she raised her eyebrows at Willow. They both knew that being in close proximity to each other usually led to one thing. Their passion for the other hadn't waned at all, even though it had been some weeks now since they had declared their open love for one another. If anything, it had intensified.
"Okay, spoilsport." Willow leant back on the pillow and tried to stifle a yawn. "What time is it?"
"Uh..." Tara glanced across at the clock on the other side of the room, "After ten."
"Ten?" Willow echoed, "I was meant to meet Buffy half an hour ago." She sat up suddenly, panicked. "She'll freak."
"Buffy? Freak? Oh surely not." Tara's voice held a hint of cynicism.
Willow narrowed her eyes and looked across at her. "Hey, you know what she's like. She's still getting used to us." She referred to Buffy's non-acceptance acceptance of the two of them being a couple. Although Buffy hadn't said anything other than positive comments, it was clear that she was still adjusting to the idea of her best friend having a relationship with another woman.
"I know." Tara rubbed her hand up and down Willow's arm. "She's great, really. But..."
"But it takes time. I mean, I'm still getting used to us. You know.....being us." Willow urged her. "It's okay for you - you've done this before."
"Not with you I haven't." Tara answered her quickly. "This is kinda different for me too you know. I mean, falling in love with a woman is one thing....but falling in love with a witch...." her lips curved upwards in a wry smile.
Willow grinned and kissed her softly, lingering over the full lips in front of her as if she was tasting a sweet strawberry. Tara leaned into her, her hand kneading the flesh under it with meaning.
"Uh...."
"Alright, alright." Tara leant back and grinned. "You'd better go now before I never let you go anywhere ever again."
"That sounds lovely..." Willow sighed, closing her eyes for a second. Then a determined look crossed her face and she sat up. "I'll come straight back, promise."
"Maybe we can try that spell again later?" Tara watched as Willow slipped out of the bed and began pulling her clothes on. She never tired of looking at Willow's slender form, so graceful yet at the same time awkward. She remembered the first time she had seen Willow naked, her pale skin gleaming in the moonlight streaming in through the window. That night....that glorious night when Willow had handed her the candle and told her that she loved her. It had seemed to last forever. They had explored each other with a nervous fervency she had rarely felt before. No one touched her like Willow. Physically and emotionally.
Willow turned, pulling on her green jumper, mussing up her hair. "Sure. You think it'll work this time?"
Tara shrugged. "No harm in trying." She ran a hand through her hair and leant back on the pillows. "Though I can't help feeling like we're missing something... " she shook her head, "Don't know what....it's like we're at some block, or a stage we can't get through."
"I was thinking the exact same thing!" Willow grinned. It wasn't the first time their minds had worked on exactly the same level. It still pleasured her. So few people had got inside her head and understood how it worked. Looking at Tara now, she saw that she too, had got inside Tara's head. It made her feel so special, knowing the real Tara. And whilst her friends only saw a nervous, gawky, shy witch, Willow passed through all that and understood the sensual, loving, intelligent woman behind it. Powerful, was how she'd described it to Buffy. And it was, more powerful than anything she'd ever experienced before. Wonderful too. Pretty darn wonderful.
As Willow put her watch around her wrist, she glanced at the time. A pang of guilt ran through her body. She supposed that, since Tara, she had maybe been neglecting Buffy somewhat. But Buffy had Riley, she told herself. Though how that took the place of a best friend she wasn't sure.
"I'd better go." she told Tara, moving over to the bed to kiss her girlfriend goodbye.
"I'll see you later?" Tara asked, wishing that Willow wouldn't ever leave her side, not for a minute.
"You bet." Willow grinned, and then was gone.
Tara stretched out in her bed, closing her eyes. So much had happened in the months that she'd been at UCS. So much for her to take in, assimilate, process. When she thought about how her life had been before Willow, it had been like she had been living half a life. The relationship had crept up on her without her knowing. That night when they had done the spell to contact the nether realms, both of them had acknowledged that something had happened. Something neither of them had expected. Tara had always known that she had feelings for Willow, but they had been caught up and twisted around in the spell casting. It was as though the magick had brought the two of them together. That perfect moment when the spell worked, and Willow had thrown herself back on the cushions behind her.....Tara shivered up at the memory.
Afterwards, Willow had held her tightly and told her that it had been the most intense experience she'd ever had. Feeling Willow's arms around her, Tara had agreed. They had shared their first kiss that night, finally acknowledging the mutual attraction that had been growing between them. To finally feel Willow's lips on hers after endless nights of dreaming what it would be like, Tara smiled, it had been so perfect. The perfect ending to a magical night. They had been perfectly attuned to each other's needs, each other's thoughts. And that feeling had stayed with them.
And now.....Tara hugged herself inwardly. Now they were matched in love as well. Though, thinking back on it, she'd probably been in love with Willow from the very first moment she'd seen her in the Wicca group. Willow had sat there like a shining beacon. A ray of light to pull Tara to her. It was just like her mom had always said, that two people who were meant to be together usually were, at some point and time.
Mom.
Tara sighed again. It had been so long since she had seen her mom. She wondered if she'd ever visit again. She used to love the way her mother held her, blessed her before she went to sleep. Sometimes she dreamt about her but... she grimaced, it was always laced with thoughts of them. The others. The ones who wanted to hurt her. And that was something she had pushed to the dusty confines of her mind. Not thinking about it was a habit she didn't want to break.
Yes you do a voice murmured deep inside her head.
Tara's eyes flicked open and her face pulled itself down at the edges.
You do think about it don't you Tara? the voice, no longer a murmur, was stronger now, forging its way to the front of her consciousness.
She shook her head, trying to not hear the words falling into her mind. Go away, she thought. Go away!
Won't ever go away the voice reminded her. Always with you, dearest Tara
No! she screamed silently, holding a hand to her forehead, feeling the pain accompany the voice like a knife-edge. You promised!
Only promised to be with you forever the voice had a mocking tone, You used to like it
Used to, Tara answered. Past tense. Over.
Oh Tara... the voice cajoled, You've so much to learn. We'll never leave you. Not now your powers are so plentiful.....we're always be there at the back of things. Present. And very, very tense...
A laugh filled her head, growing in intensity until she cried out aloud and clutched her hands to either side of her head, rocking back and forth in the bed in pain.
As Willow breathlessly entered the espresso pump she looked around, hoping against hope that Buffy had waited. They had agreed to spend some alone time together (however much that seemed like a contradiction to them both). It was all the more important now to have Buffy close. More than it had ever been. Tara entering her life had meant that times were changing for Willow. She had become the person she had always wanted to be - the person she felt she was meant to be. Everything was so right now, and having approval from Buffy was integral to that. She wanted Buffy to share in her joy, not feel excluded by it.
As her glance swept the room, she spotted the blonde slayer sitting alone at a table in the corner. She was reading a newspaper. Willow half grinned - Buffy must be bored indeed to be reading news. She usually avoided the written word like she did conversations with vamps.
"Hey Buffy." she arrived at the table and sat down.
Buffy looked up and swiftly shoved the newspaper under the table. The irritated expression on her face was instantly replaced by a smile. "Will....God, thought you were going to stand me up."
"Yeah well...I sorta overslept." Willow almost blushed at the memory of just why she'd had a late night. "Tara and I - we..."
Buffy held up a hand. "Easy on the details there Will. No need To over explain." she folded her arms and looked at the dishevelled witch in front of her. Willow was looking lost a lot these days, unless she had Tara with her. It seemed like the two of them just fitted. And Buffy couldn't argue with that (much as she felt she ought to). But she was happy if Willow was happy. She guessed. She just wished she could shake the nagging unsettled feeling deep in her stomach every time she saw Tara.
"So, how's things?" Willow leant forward on the table.
"Oh...you know," Buffy shrugged, "Kinda slow on the slaying front. Kinda not on the Riley front."
"I guess this is where you talk about the big smoochies huh?" Willow grinned.
"Not so much big....more like never ending." Buffy giggled. "He's great Will. I can't believe I've finally found me a normal guy."
"Sure," Willow leaned back in her chair, pushing the hair out of her eyes, "If you count GI Joe who fights demons as normal." She caught the look in Buffy's eyes and added quickly, "I mean, used to. And hey, he's not a vamp. So good I guess."
"You guess right." Buffy nodded. "It's nice to actually go out with a guy that likes daylight."
"Always an advantage." Willow agreed.
"Besides, I kinda think Riley's fighting days are over. Unless he helps me with....." she giggled at what was obviously a private joke, "training...So how are things going with Tara?" Buffy asked. She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible, but somehow her tone was too high, too strained, belying the nervousness she felt even thinking about Willow with another woman.
"Tara? You really wanna hear about her?" Willow almost enjoyed the way that Buffy squirmed in her seat.
"Sure!" the forced brightness in Buffy's voice faded as she looked down at her folded arms. She reached up and pushed her hair back, then shrugged, her eyes meeting the shining green orbs in front of her. "Look Will," she began, her voice hesitant, "I really like Tara. She's great. And if she makes you happy then..." she shrugged, "What can I say?"
"It's what you haven't said that's the problem." Willow answered. "Buffy, I didn't make this happen. It just did. I don't know what it is..." she pursed her lips thoughtfully, "We make each other happy. I guess it's as simple as that. I...." she paused, "I love her."
The silence between the two women was seemingly endless. Buffy frowned, scratched her forehead, then shrugged again. "OK."
Now it was Willow's turn to frown. "OK?"
"Sure. OK."
"And....that's it?"
Buffy reached across and took Willow's hand, holding onto it gently. "Look Will, I'm not as close minded as you seem to think. Hey, Xander's hooked up with an ex-demon for God's sake....and me....well, you know all about me and Angel. Love doesn't make sense a lot of the time. But if you and Tara are...." she frowned, "Anyway, if you two are together then I guess you're together. So....OK." She squeezed Willow's hand.
Willow squeezed back. "You're the best Buffy. You really are."
Buffy leant back in her chair. "Damn straight I am." She Caught herself, "Oh...I didn't mean...you know...straight when I said straight I meant....." she grinned as she saw Willow laughing at her.
Tara sat in front of the long mirror in her room, frowning slightly as she shifted into a more comfortable position, her legs folded beneath her. She glanced down at the crystals, arranged on the floor in front of her and clasping her hands together, placed them gently in her lap. Closing her eyes, she began to chant, long forgotten words of an ancient spell.
Without her knowledge, as her words reached the air, a gust of wind blew gently around the strands of her hair, lifting them up then letting them fall downwards against her shoulders. A faint mist began to appear in the mirror, swirling around, entwining up towards the top of the frame then falling again to the bottom. It was almost transparent at first, then became thicker, the whiteness turning to substance as the depths lengthened.
Tara finished chanting and opened her eyes. The blue circles widened as she gazed at the mist. It had a life of its own. She had opened the portal, and now a figure was emerging through it. A woman. A female who took form from the mist and appeared as solid, a reflection in the mirror. Long, dark hair, whipped around the pale face that took shape and structure. The mist sank into a billowing black cloak that surrounded the body.
Eyes as dark as midnight looked from the mirror into Tara. They reached right into her soul and took from it what was necessary for expression. Tara felt the depletion in her own energies as the form in the mirror lifted its hands to its face and swept them across the skin that lay there. Life. At last, life.
"Tara."
Was the voice real? Or just imagined? It seemed as though the voice had echoed throughout the room, whilst at the same time had spoken only in Tara's head. She winced with the pain that the noise caused, but forced herself to continue looking at the figure in the mirror.
"Tara?" Now a question.
"It's me. I'm here." Tara answered. Again, unsure whether her own lips had spoken or whether her voice had merely thought the words in her mind.
"Tara." the voice sounded self-satisfied and complete. The face in the mirror, a beautiful, ethereal face, smiled down at the blonde girl in front of it.
"Hi mom." Tara said.
"You sure about this Will?" Buffy asked as the two women walked across campus towards Tara's dorm.
Willow waved her hand around nonchalantly. "Sure. No problem. Tara likes you Buffy."
"Oh." Buffy said, almost worried. Sensing the look Willow flashed her, she nodded. "I mean, oh. As in good. As in, hey, we're all friends here...."
Willow squeezed her arm. "She's just as nervous about this as you are. I mean, going out with the Scooby gang....it's not easy for anyone. Look at it from her point of view. We're the Scooby gang. Kinda intimidating at the best of times." She shook her head, "Besides, if anyone should be nervous about this, it should be me!"
Buffy grinned. "Yeah okay. Slayer meets witch. No problem. But Will, Slayer meets girlfriend witch.....I mean, it's all so....." she shook her head.
"Gay?" Willow giggled. "Tell me about it. I'm still waiting for Tara to spring her collection of Melissa Etheridge on me. Won't be long before we're both wearing rainbows and marching on Washington...."
"Will...."
Willow laughed out loud. "Kiddin' okay?" she walked up the steps to the front door of Tara's dorm.
Buffy was a couple of steps behind her and was momentarily stopped by the image. She looked up at the redhead. "You'd better be." She said to herself.
"Tara, you've grown up so much." the figure in the mirror spoke, although the words seemed like echoes to Tara's waiting ears.
"I have. Mom.....it's....it's good to see you." Tara could hardly make her lips push the words out.
"You conjured me?"
"I....I've been working on this for a long time." Tara's eyes were transfixed on the swirling figure in front of her. "I had to see you Mom. I just had to."
"Contacting the spirit world on your own isn't always safe." the figure admonished. "It could be dangerous for a witch alone."
"But I'm not....I'm not alone." Tara interjected quickly. "I've had help Mom....."
"A coven?"
Tara frowned, shaking her head slightly. "No. No coven." Her thoughts turned to Willow and a smile crept across her full lips, shining into her eyes, flushing her cheeks.
"Aaah, a love interest?" the figure sensed her inner feelings, felt them too, participated in the girl's energy so perfectly.
"Mom...." Tara looked down at her hands clasped together in her lap.
"My Tara. Always so shy but always so beautiful. Do you remember how I used to tell you that?"
"Yeah. You did." Tara's voice held a tinge of sadness. Memories, so long ago she'd thought they were lost. Her mother, holding her on her lap, telling her how beautiful and precious she was. And special. Very, very special. What powers she had...
"So someone's seen your beauty? Seen your light?"
"I th-think so." Tara looked up at the figure, cast in brightness, in front of her. "Yeah Mom. Someone has." She added, her voice stronger, more assertive.
"And you wanted to tell me?"
"No....I mean yes....but Mom," a frown crinkled Tara's smooth brow, "It's about the other thing......about the past. I think it's caught up with me."
The figure flickered in the mirror at the same time that Tara felt a weakness spread through her chest. A constriction that squeezed at her inside, pushing upwards into her brain. She gasped aloud and almost fell backwards. She was losing contact. Immediately and suddenly.
"Mom?" she whispered, daring to keep her eyes on the mirror in front of her.
"Tara.....remember the past. It's a part of you..." the voice was growing faint, as was the image in the mirror.
"Mom...don't....go...." Tara was aware of a knocking in the distance, behind her. Someone at the door? She couldn't think about that now. Not now. Her mind grasped at the image, her hand outstretched as everything faded to black.
Buffy pulled the drapes in Tara's room as Willow leant over the blonde girl, laid back on the bed. She heard Willow's urgent whispers as she stroked Tara's hair, held a cold flannel to her brow. Turning, Buffy frowned as she replayed the preceding minutes again in her head.
They had been standing outside Tara's room, knocking on the door, when they had heard a cry from inside. Forcing her way into the room, Buffy had first seen Tara lying back on the floor, surrounded by candles, her body jerking, covered in sweat. She had thought....no, she told herself, it couldn't have been, but...she could have sworn that she had seen something in the mirror. Just a glimpse of a something.....or someone...? It was as fleeting as a movement in the corner of her gaze before it was....well, just a mirror again.
"Buffy, I think she's waking up." Willow's voice woke her from her reverie, and she went to kneel by the side of the bed.
Tara's blue eyes flickered open and she moaned. Willow reached for her hand and held it gently. The blue met green, and glowed in recognition. "Willow..." Tara began.
"Shhh." the other witch answered, "Just rest. Then talk."
Tara nodded gently and closed her eyes. Her fingers wrapped themselves around Willow's and held on as if for dear life.
Willow looked up at Buffy. Her face was cast in a concerned, and rather frightened expression. "Buffy....I don't know what's going on." she said plaintively.
"Is she sick?" Buffy asked, knowing that this kind of behaviour usually meant not illness, but something rather more threatening.
"I -I don't think so. She was fine this morning. I mean, she wanted to try a spell this afternoon and I said I'd be back with her.....I don't know what's going on." Willow said again, like it was her only answer.
"What's with the candles?" Buffy gestured to the still burning circle on the floor in front of the mirror.
"We usually use them for spells...." Willow began, then gasped. "Buffy...a spell couldn't have done this could it?"
"You'd know more than me Will." Buffy answered, her gaze sweeping the room, coming back to the mirror. Something about that huge piece of reflective glass freaked her out. What was that she had seen?
Tara stirred again, opening her eyes. She raised her head off the pillow and sighed deeply, pushing at her brow. She looked at the two girls standing in front of her, as if seeing them for the first time. Confusion flitted across her face, before she took it all in; Buffy, the mirror, the candles....and in front of her, Willow.
"Willow?"
"Tara...." Willow leant forward and hugged her. "What's been going on? What's happened?" her voice carried tears, "I was so worried....we came in and you were just lying there..."
Tara's eyes met Buffy's over the top of Willow's shoulder, for a split second, accusing, challenging. She slid her arms around the redhead and patted her gently, soothing away her fears.
"Nothing." she said, her eyes locked with Buffy's. "Nothing's happened. Nothing at all."
It had been several days since the incident with Tara, and Buffy was still none the wiser. Whether Tara didn't want to talk to her about it, or didn't want to talk to anyone about it, neither she nor Willow had been able to find out exactly what had happened. Tara had told a stilting story about preparing for the spell she and Willow were going to try out, then fainting. She blamed it on lack of breakfast. And wouldn't say any more. Both Buffy and Willow had known she was lying, but had left it at that. Buffy hadn't forgotten the look in Tara's eyes as she had stared at her over Willow's shoulder. That hardened look she had seen before...people trying to cover up a guilty secret.
Sitting at her books in study hall, Buffy wasn't even reading the text in front of her. Instead, her mind kept on returning to Tara. What was she hiding? And if she was hiding something.....why? She and Willow had the witch stuff down, that was for sure, and Tara had powers Willow could only dream about. Wasn't that kinda dangerous? she asked herself. Wasn't that all kinda threatening?
She shook her head. No way. Tara was one of the good guys wasn't she? All those times she had helped out the Scooby gang without being asked. Because she wanted to. Because she was a good witch. A good witch. Like Willow.
Only.....Tara wasn't like Willow was she? And what did they really know about her anyway? She had just appeared on the scene, conveniently enough to help with the Faith thing.... before that with the Gentleman, and Lowell House.... Buffy pursed her lips. Yeah, it all seemed real convenient. Like Tara had known she was going to be there. Like she had prepared for all that. And just turned up, on time.
"Penny for them." a low voice whispered at her ear, jerking her out of her daydream. A pair of strong hands squeezed her shoulders as Riley sat down next to her. A quizzical smile was on his face as he observed her troubled expression.
"Huh?" she frowned at him.
He pointed to her books. "Isn't the idea of study hall to....well, you know, study?" his smile spread across his broad face.
"Oh. Yeah." she sighed and sat back in her chair. "Sort of got sidetracked there."
"What's up?" he leant forward.
"Not sure." she said thoughtfully, biting her lip. "Riley, if I wanted to find something out about a student here, where would I go?"
"Is this something the student would know about.....or something the student wouldn't want you to know?"
"Um....the second thing. I guess." she answered slowly.
"You could try student records. Though they'll probably only tell you what you already know." he shrugged, "Buffy, what's going on?"
She frowned, her gaze drifting off towards the place that Tara had previously occupied. "I'm not sure." she answered. "I'm really not sure."
"And the next thing I know, poof! everything goes dark!" Willow finished her story and waited for the appropriate laugh from Tara. When silence was met with silence, Willow leant forward over the table in the student dining hall. She frowned, trying to fathom out the distant look in the azure blue gaze fixed on a spot way, way over her shoulder. She reached across and covered Tara's pale hand with her own. "Hey, dreamy...." she smiled.
Tara started and looked at Willow, for a second her eyes didn't even seem to recognise the redhead. Then warmth returned to the cold, cold blue and she attempted a smile, that barely reached her lips, never mind her eyes.
"Sorry. Was I...?"
"About a million miles away." Willow finished for her. "S'okay, I don't mind if you've spoiled possibly one of the best stories I've ever told." She checked herself, "Possibly one of the only stories I've ever told. To another human that is." A wry smile spread over her lips.
"Willow....I'm sorry." Tara said again, squeezing the other girl's hand. "I was listening, honest, but I just...."
Willow leant back in her chair and held up her hands. "You just kinda tripped out. I know. I was there. Talking to the wall of Tara."
Tara rubbed a hand over her forehead wearily. Her eyes seemed to glisten for a second and she took a breath as though to start a sentence, then thought better of it. Instead, she took a sip of her drink and looked across at the other witch. The warmth in Willow's eyes seemed to touch her somehow and she felt herself returning to the present. To the place where they were together, always, as one. It reminded her of why she loved Willow. That cosy aura the redhead seemed to carry with her all the time enveloped Tara, made her feel safe, protected. She basked in it for a second, drinking it in.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, her eyebrows raised to furrow a line down the centre of her brow. That look, Tara had seen it so often before. Willow's worried look. That special little frown she reserved for a `this is troubling me' situation.
"Uh....yeah..." Tara lied, unsuccessfully. She could never lie to Willow. They knew each other too well by now. The path of least resistance was to say nothing. That way she wasn't lying badly.
She wasn't really lying at all...
"Okay. You don't want to talk about it, or you don't want to talk to me about it." Willow's lips pressed together in a firm line, as she attempted to disguise her obvious disappointment at Tara's secrecy. "Either way, that's not good."
"Willow...it's not that I don't want to talk to you about it..." Tara began.
"Well, good." Willow's resolute `firm face' was fixed, "Because you can tell me anything. Anything at all. I wouldn't be much of a girlfriend if you couldn't confide in me now would I?"
Tara opened her mouth but found that nothing came out. Had Willow just said the word she thought she'd said? Girlfriend? As easily as that? Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like it was always going to be the most natural thing in the world. The two of them. Girlfriends...she rolled the word around in her mind and realised that a smile was beaming its way across her whole face. Hell, it felt like her whole body was smiling.
"What?" Willow's brow curled itself into that confused expression again.
"You said girlfriend." Tara leant across the table, her voice low and gravelly. "You called yourself my girlfriend."
"I did?" Willow shrugged. "Hmm." Her eyes met Tara's and the spark infused the both of them at the same time. Her own voice lowered to meet the sensuous timbre of the blonde witch's, "Well, maybe that's because I am. And you're mine. I guess....." her fingers snaked across the table to intertwine with Tara's, "I guess that's how close I feel to you. Want to be....I mean...if you let me, that is." The pressure of her fingers on the ones beneath her increased. "You can trust me you know. Like I trust you."
Tara sighed, never taking her eyes away from the green haze in front of her. "Oh, I know. I know that. Don't think I don't trust you. I do."
"But?"
"But....." she shook her head and shrugged, "I don't know! When I figure out what's going on, you'll be the first to know."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Aaah, the two lovebirds no less." a familiar voice interrupted the intimate moment as Xander dropped casually into a chair at their table. The two girls dropped hands instantly and sank back into their own seats. Xander looked between them, a foolish grin plastered across his face.
"Hey, girls, don't break it up on my account." he folded his arms and sat back.
"Xander, that's precisely why we would break it up." Willow admonished him, a grin of reprove on her mouth.
"Pity. Guess I'll just have to rely on the secret cameras placed at strategic points around both your......okay, okay," he held up his hands as two sets of steely eyes turned on him. "Buffy asked me to find you. She wants a meeting at Giles' tonight."
"Scooby meetings?" Willow groaned, "But I thought we were allowed time off after all that Adam stuff."
"It seems not. `Sides, I could do with a bit of action. Kinda got used to the old livin' on the Hellmouth day to day wrestling with demons life."
"And I thought wrestling with demons was what you and Anya laughingly called a love life." Willow remarked, giggling as she watched Tara stifle a laugh.
"And on that note," Xander rose, "I don't need to sit here to be abused. That's why I go out with Anya. See you later."
"You wanna come? To the....uh....Scooby meeting?" Willow asked Tara.
Tara remembered how Buffy had seen right through her that day. She almost shivered at the memory. Maybe now wasn't the right time to be meeting up with Buffy to discuss supernatural goings on. Especially not when she wasn't sure about exactly what supernatural goings on were disturbing her so much.
"Uh....do you mind if I don't?" she asked the redhead.
Willow tried (again) not to look hurt, knowing that she was failing miserably. It seemed like Tara wanted some distance at the moment. Distance from her? Distance from the relationship? Whatever it was, it was beginning to hurt.
"Okay." she answered in a very small voice. "Shall I come to yours later...I mean, after the meeting?" she hoped against hope that Tara would say yes. But the look that passed through Tara's eyes indicated that Willow wouldn't be welcome. "Or maybe I'll just leave it until tomorrow." she added, at least giving herself some dignity.
"I think I'm going to get an early night." Tara consolidated Willow's remark. Not saying no exactly, but just hinting that the two of them wouldn't be together tonight. "Got an early class tomorrow." Now Tara was trying to give Willow some dignity.
For the first time between the two, an awkward silence descended. Tara was wishing she had the guts to at least tell Willow about the spell and her mother, but she couldn't trust herself not to blurt out everything else, about her past. And that belonged hidden away until she could deal with it herself. Or at least ignore it successfully.
Willow didn't dare look at Tara. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure it showed beneath her flimsy sweater. Was this sudden distance all because she called Tara her girlfriend? She had always been sure, up until this moment, that that was exactly what Tara wanted. And now feelings were all out in the open, and a label had finally been used, it was like Tara just wanted to run away. From her. From Willow. From the two of them.
Tara's room was dark. She hadn't bothered to put on any lights, preferring instead to hide herself away from everything. Even Willow. For the first time since she had met the other witch, Tara was afraid to be with her. Afraid that Willow would finally realise everything about her. And that would be...
A catastrophe
She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the voice away. Not now....she whispered silently, please not now...
Yes, now. We need to decide what we're going to do
No. She said definitively, no. I don't want this. I don't want to be a part of this anymore.
It's too late for that my darling the voice was almost patronisingly kind, It's your destiny. Always has been. You know that.
But I don't want it anymore! A single tear rolled down her cheek as she huddled in her chair. She wrapped her arms around her legs and dropped her head down on to her knees. It's not fair...she whispered.
It's your fate. Your fate. And ours too the voice reminded her, growing harsh, as it always had done in the past. There's nothing stopping you now. You're so close to the Slayer...just as we'd planned. You've done so well. It's futile to stop now, now we're so close to everything we wanted
Everything you wanted, Tara thought, not what I wanted. You always used me, just used my powers. I didn't want to be a part of it, but you used me...
She opened her eyes to see the group sitting around her. They were staring at her as if she were an exhibit in a museum. Their eyes were judgemental, appreciative, almost admiring. Twelve pairs of eyes, all of them fixed on her, waiting for her to speak.
As she clenched her hands together on her lap, Tara found it difficult to meet anyone's eyes. She didn't like these people, never had. But her parents had insisted that she meet with them, be a part of these regular get togethers they organised. And as the years had progressed, from her eleventh birthday, Tara had become a part of the group. Although she was unwilling from the outset, it was clear that her powers were going to go to waste if they weren't used. At least, that's what her mother told her.
Tara glanced across the room to where her mother sat. A smile played around the corners of the full lips that had so often kissed her goodnight. As blue eyes pierced blue, Tara knew that her mother loved her. So often these days, Tara and her mother communicated without words. The spells they cast in the old attic at the top of the ancient house whirled around them in a roaring silence as their minds met in perfect synchronicity. That strength empowered Tara. It was those moments that rushed through her mind now, as she sat in the centre of a circle of witches.
"Well?" a hand on her shoulder startled her. She looked upwards to see the broad face of her father looking down at her. With his movie star good looks and her mother's beauty they made a striking couple. But her father frightened her. He was an intense man who towered above her, and his height intimidated her into shyness. At these gatherings, he was always showing her off, always presenting her to his weird friends, expecting her to perform parlour tricks just to show them how much she was learning. It made Tara scared of her own powers, and scared of his interest in them.
"Tara, come on." he smiled, although his eyes were a cold, dull brown. His teeth seemed somehow gritted together. So often he had sat her down and told her that shy people never got anywhere. He repeated over and over again that nervousness wasn't the sign of a true witch, that awkwardness didn't sit well with the craft. Time and time again he lectured her on being outward, confident, self-assured. Everything she just...wasn't.
"Daddy...." she began in a tiny voice that trembled somewhere out of her fourteen year old body.
"Tara, Mrs Lake was asking you how long you'd been practising." he said in a low rumble that held something of a threat behind it.
"Daddy..."
"So tell her." he demanded, his fingers tightening their grip on her shoulder.
"Uh...." Tara turned her eyes to the woman in question. Mrs Lake had been a friend of the family for as long as she could remember. She had no idea how old the woman was, probably ancient, Tara told herself. Definitely over forty. And she sat there, gazing at Tara with eyes that seemed to bore into the heart of her. It made her palms sweat and she found that her tongue was tied.
"Don't be shy dear." Mrs Lake urged her.
"Um....I d-d-did my f-f-first sp-sp-spell when I w-w-was s-s-seven." she eventually forced out, her eyes dropping down to her lap, where her fingers were twisting together.
"Seven? Really?" Mrs Lake nodded, and several of the other witches nodded with her. "So young." she looked up at Tara's father. He patted Tara's shoulder proudly and walked to the edge of the circle where he stood with folded arms, inspecting her now along with all the others.
"She's quite the little Wiccan is Tara." he said, a smile across his handsome face. "Has an insatiable appetite for the craft. That's why I -" he stopped for a second and corrected himself, "*We* thought she'd be perfect for the ceremony."
His statement was greeted with nods from many in the circle. Tara's mother stood up and walked to stand beside him. "Although," she held his arm plaintively, "she is still so young. She's not ready yet." Her voice held a note of alarm that rang through Tara's young body and heightened the fear that nibbled inside her.
"But the training starts now." Mrs Lake added. Her eyes returned to Tara and she smiled, a slow, long, unpleasant smile. "Just so she's ready when the time comes."
Giles poured tea into the china cups that nobody was going to use and sat back in his chair. He looked at the three young people sitting in front of him on the couch and pursed his lips, rubbing a hand over his tired brow. Buffy had called this meeting, and he still wasn't quite sure why. With Adam defeated and relative normality resumed, he had thought that perhaps, at least, for some time, there would be some peace in Sunnydale.
And now Buffy was sitting opposite him, flanked by Willow and Xander, a worried look on her face. She had wanted to talk about her dreams, so often prophetic. They all remembered how disturbing the dreams about the first Slayer had been. The name Tara had come up more than once. Giles made a mental note that the witch in question wasn't present.
"I asked her to come," Willow said, "But she told me she was tired." She turned to look at her friend, "Buffy, you don't think Tara's like....." her face worked itself into an expression of confusion and fear, "....in trouble do you?"
"Will, I don't know." Buffy shrugged, "All I know is that for the last three nights I've had dreams about Tara."
"Me too." Xander said without thinking. As three sets of eyes turned on him he coughed and shook his head, trying not to blush.
"And I kinda think it's all connected to me in some way. But I just don't know how." Buffy continued, "If I could talk to her..."
"No." Willow said firmly. "If anyone's going to talk to Tara it's going to be me."
"Will, maybe you shouldn't, what with you being...uh..."
"Her girlfriend?" Willow pursed her lips. "I know you guys might not be used to it yet but..." she shook her head, "that's just the way it is. Besides, coming on all Slayerish maybe isn't the best idea. You know what Tara's like about violence." Willow felt a need to defend Tara, though she wasn't even sure if she was being attacked.
"I just want to talk to her Will, not hit her!" Buffy felt a similar need to defend herself. She had known from the outset that this meeting was going to be like walking on eggshells.
"Buffy....ah....do you think that Tara's perhaps dangerous in some way?" Giles spoke for the first time, leaning forward to sip at his tea.
"No! I mean...no...uh...I don't know." Buffy's voice was confused. "Maybe." she shrugged.
"I can't believe you would even think that! Tara's not dangerous!" Willow stood up, glaring down at them. "She's helped us out on more than one occasion....Buffy you wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for her, we'd still be making the friends thing with Faith if she hadn't -"
"Will, I know, I know." Buffy tried to placate her friend, but could see it was no use.
"And just because you have some weird dream about her you're all ready to weigh in with the fists and the fighting. Well that's wrong. Tara's not bad.....I mean, did you ever think that maybe you're having dreams about her because you just can't deal with the whole thing?" Willow was shouting now, her fists balled by her sides, clenching and unclenching in anger as she leant over Buffy.
"Willow, do try and calm down." Giles interjected.
"Yeah, come on Will. This is Buffy, you know, best friend? She usually aces on the dreams thing." Xander added.
"I don't have a problem with you and her Will." Buffy said, almost frightened at the passion of her friend, "I just have a problem with her in my dreams every night."
"No." Willow shook her head, "This isn't fair. You're not being fair." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at each one in turn. They couldn't answer her. And she didn't know what else to say. She'd never had to make a choice between friends and heart before, and was dreading it now, although it seemed inevitable. "I have to go. I can't listen to this." she spat, before turning and rushing out of the door.
Buffy leapt to her feet to go after her, but Willow's retreating footsteps and the slamming door stopped her in defeat. She sank back down onto the couch and covered her face with her hand. "How to lose a friend in three sentences." she groaned. "Giles, what am I going to do?"
"Well, that all rather depends on the nature of these dreams. What exactly is it about them that disturbs you? Tara seems rather innocuous in comparison to previous foes."
"What?" Xander frowned, "What did he say?"
Giles sighed and tutted underneath his breath. "What is Tara doing in your dreams Buffy?"
Buffy leant forward, resting her arms on her knees. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, seeing the images clearly before her. Images that had woken her in a cold sweat, fear creeping up and down her skin. Opening her eyes, she met Giles' gaze. "She's trying to kill me." she answered.
End of Part 1
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Part 2
Willow had run halfway across campus before she realised where she was. It was quiet and dark, and she stopped for a second, leaning against a tree. Her eyes were sore from crying, and her breath was coming in short, ragged pants. Whirling around her head were the words, the accusations, the judgments. How could the people she trusted with her life turn against her now, just as she had found happiness again?
Rubbing at her eyes, Willow's thoughts turned to Tara. Maybe Tara had known about Buffy's intentions - that was why she decided not to go to the meeting tonight. As she leant against the tree, regaining her composure, Willow realised that she didn't really know that much about Tara. She was always so reluctant to talk about her childhood, unless it involved hobbies or holidays. Nothing really important had ever come out. Only that she came from a family of witches. Bt it hadn't ever mattered before. Not until now. Willow felt a deep nagging sensation begin down in her gut, climbing its way up her spine to the back of her neck. What if Buffy was right? What if....? No. She shook her head. Tara was good. She loved her. They loved each other.
A shiver woke her from her thoughts. She realised that she must have been standing out there in the night cold for at least ten minutes. Long enough for a stalking vampire to attack her....or worse. She shivered again, glancing across at the building in front of her across the pathway. Without knowing it, she had run to Tara's hall. Straightening up, Willow made her way towards the steps. That `no time like the present' thing sure made sense right now.
Tara was still sitting in the same position as she had been several hours ago. Her arms, curled around her legs, were feeling numb now, and she was cold. But she had to stay so still, just in case the voice came back. Just in case it knew she was still awake and wanted to taunt her some more. She dared not even breathe too heavily in case it came back to torture her. That voice from her past rekindled feelings that she had tried so hard to leave behind. It brought everything back to her in shocking clarity.
A knock at the door startled her. She waited for a moment, thinking that she was hearing things again, that her mind was truly not her own and was playing tricks on her. Then the knock came again, soft, yet insistent. Recognition flooded through her. There was only one person who would visit her at this time. Almost unwillingly, she crossed the room and opened the door.
"Hi." Willow said uncertainly, shifting her weight nervously from one foot to the other. "I know you wanted an early night but...." she shrugged, "I guess I just wanted to see you."
"That's really nice Willow.....but I kinda...." Tara began, but to her surprise, a grief and pain like she'd not felt since Oz came back welled up inside her. Rather than let Willow see her cry, she managed to blurt out, "I can't talk right now. Please. I'm sorry." She shut the door and stood back from it, her breathing heavy and restricted with the tears clamming up her throat.
Another knock at the door reached her ears. This time it was accompanied by her name, spoken softly, questioningly. She shook her head. Willow shouldn't be involved in this. Not her Willow. The knock came again. Tara stood transfixed, not knowing what to do. The door opened and Willow entered, closing the door behind her.
"Tara, what's going on?" she asked, not seeing the other girl's pain in the darkness. "What are you doing all alone here in the dark? Why don't you want to see me?"
"I....c-can't...." Tara gulped, taking a step backwards.
Willow took a step forwards, her hands reaching out for Tara's. "Have I done something wrong?" her voice trembled, "Tara, your hands are so cold." she rubbed them between her own, feeling the fingers against her palms like ice. In the dim light, she squinted forward, trying to see the expression on the other girl's face. "Tara please talk to me." she pleaded, moving closer. It was as she was inches from the other girl that she saw the pain in the blue eyes she had come to read so well. It shocked her, saddened her, and passed through her also.
"God Tara, what's wrong?" she gasped, "Is this because....." she took a deep breath, "Is this because I called you my girlfriend...because I just said that without thinking and I didn't want to upset you....Tara....please don't turn away from me....I need you so much...." she paused for a second, her fingers trailing down Tara's cheek and coming away wet with tears. "I love you Tara."
The blonde witch almost threw herself into Willow's arms, pressing her shaking body against the redhead. Willow's hands snaked around Tara's back, holding her close, breathing in the scent of her clean hair. She felt tears against her neck, washing into her.
"I l-love you too Willow." Tara sobbed. "Please help me. Please. You're the only one who can."
Some hours later, the two lay in each other’s arms, nestling softly in a warm spacious bed. Willow was still murmuring comforts into Tara's ear as her arms protected the other girl from whatever was troubling her. She stroked the ash blonde hair, marvelling at the silken softness running through her fingers. Tara had cried for a long time. She'd never done that before. Not with Willow. In some way, it seemed as though they had become even closer. Now, lying in bed, Tara seemed much more calm and relaxed.
"Better now?" Willow whispered.
Tara nodded dumbly, her fingers trailing a pathway up and down Willow's back. She had found a kind of peace with this woman that she thought she would never experience. It made her feel loved, assured. Willow made her feel the way that she had always wanted to. The thought of being without her scared her so much that it made her gasp out loud now.
"What?" Willow leant up on one arm and looked down at the deep blue eyes that she wanted to fall into every time she saw them.
Tara's face was fixed in an expression of sadness. "I love you Willow." she said softly. "I love you so much I don't know what I'd do without you."
Willow leant down and gently pressed her own lips against the full, delicious ones that she adored. "You won't have to find out. I'm not going anywhere. Promise."
"I just worry...." Tara began, but Willow hushed her by kissing her again.
"I'm not going anywhere. Why would I want to go away from you? You make me feel so safe." the redhead said when she lifted her head. "Don't be sad."
"I'm not." Tara said, "I just n-need you to....to....help me."
"Help you?" Willow frowned. "How?"
"I'll explain....but not tonight." Tara answered, her voice almost melodious and dreamy, "I'll tell you everything. I want to Willow.....I want to tell you everything about me."
"Oooh, sounds ominous." Willow half-smiled, "You're not some demon or something are you? I mean, you're not going to tear out my insides whilst I'm asleep or something.....coz that would be really...." she pursed her lips, "kinda inconvenient."
"Willow...." Tara trailed a finger down the other girl's cheek.
"I know, I know, I'm babbling." Willow grinned, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "I just want to help you."
"I know." Tara said, leaning up and kissing her. "I love you Willow. I really do. You have to trust that."
Willow leant down and squeezed the blonde witch. "Sometimes I want to get inside you and hug you from there."
"You do." Tara smiled, "Everytime you look at me. You do."
"So you don't mind the whole girlfriend thing?" Willow teased, her body pressing close against Tara's.
"I love it." Tara murmured, pushing back Willow's hair from her face. "I love belonging to you. I told you I was yours. And I am. Forever."
"And I'm yours." Willow sighed, kissing Tara's neck, her lips nibbling down to her shoulder blade. Tara sighed, her fingers pressing against Willow's back. She felt her body waken, become alive with that electric current only Willow sent through her. It always amazed her how they touched each other, inside and out.
"Is this okay? I mean...now, tonight?" Willow asked.
"Yes. I need this. I need you." Tara answered, pulling Willow's head down to hers, kissing her deeply, pushing her tongue into the other girl's mouth. A groan came from Willow's throat as she responded. In mutual acquiescence, they moved instinctively against one another. Tara's mouth left Willow's and moved down her neck, licking at the hollow at the base of her throat. Hearing the moan beneath her lips, Tara felt a shiver urge her on. She leant up over Willow and smiled down at her, seeing the darkened eyes widen as her hand crept lower down the redhead's body.
Willow pushed Tara back onto the pillows and rolled on top of her. A smile turned the corners of her mouth as she felt the blonde witch push her hips up against her. She leant down and took Tara's breast in her mouth, flicking the tip of her tongue against the rose coloured nipple that ached for her touch. It tasted sweet like strawberries, and Willow couldn't help licking and sucking as she savoured the flavour in her mouth. Tara pushed her head back on the pillows, arching her back and gasping aloud, her hands reaching for Willow to pull her closer.
Willow knelt between Tara's legs and continued her trail of kisses downward. She moved over to Tara's other breast, her fingers pinching gently at the nipple that was wet with her saliva. As she teased the second nipple, she heard Tara moan unintelligible words as her breathing grew harsh and fast. Touching another woman in this way would have been unthinkable several months ago, Willow suddenly thought. And she would have missed out on the beauty of another woman's skin, her touch, the way she grew excited, the way a flush rose on her chest, inching its way towards the base of her neck. She loved exciting Tara, revelled in the moments when they teased and thrilled one another, knowing that only the other's touch could make them feel this way, seeing each other in their mind's eye, watching the passion rise and ebb its way towards them in their hearts and bodies.
Tara's hands now snaked up Willow's arms, placed either side of her waist. Her fingers rested for a moment on the redhead's shoulders, then wandered almost absent-mindedly down over her chest, down onto her breasts. Willow knew that her own nipples were erect with excitement, so that when Tara covered them with her hands, she could feel them pushing against the warm palms that enveloped them. For a second, a dizzy thrill rushed its way up and down her spine, and she ceased her touching of Tara's nipples to lean back and look down at the pools of deep blue gazing at her.
As a smile crept across Tara's mouth, Willow grinned back, loving the sensuous caress of those eyes. There were times during the day, when she'd often catch Tara staring at her, with that same look. It always made her shiver slightly underneath her clothes; it made her feel naked and alive, just as she did now. It was a new connection between them, their secret, their own way of communicating, an acknowledgement of how they made each other feel. Willow loved the special glow it brought to her, the memories it flashed through her head.
In those seconds when their eyes met, it seemed to Willow that everything they had ever experienced together was contained in that sensuous gaze from Tara. It was like Tara carried everything with her in her eyes, passing it over to Willow in a look, a backward glance.
Tara now sat up, still brushing her palms over Willow's nipples, and the two faced each other on a level. That smile still lay on Tara's lips, her full lips that were slightly parted and moist. Willow couldn't take her eyes off the other girl's mouth, so inviting, so inspiring. She loved that mouth, loved what it did to her, what it said to her, how it loved her.
She remembered their first kiss, that night when they had contacted the nether realms. It was a kiss that belonged in the euphoria of the spell, but both had known that it had its roots in a deeper passion. That night had broken many barriers for both of them, in that it had opened the gates to their love for one another. Willow shivered, remembering how Tara had held her and brought her back safely. Like she always would. She trusted her implicitly before and after that spell, thanking the Goddess that magick had brought them together, spiritually, mentally, physically.
"I love you Willow." Tara whispered, her hands moving to brush the hair from Willow's face, laying her palm against the redhead's cheek. "I've loved you from the first moment I saw you. I knew we were meant to be together."
Willow leant forward and kissed the lips that received her with tenderness. "I didn't know I could be so happy." She murmured against Tara's mouth. "I didn't know you could make me so happy." Leaning back, she ran a single finger down Tara's cheek. "You are so beautiful..."
They leant together for another kiss, the electricity passing between them. An onlooker might possibly say that both witches glowed with the current they generated, that a bright light lit their skin from the inside. The two wrapped their arms around each other and held one another close, so close it was as though they wanted to merge into one another and become one.
Willow sucked Tara's tongue into her mouth, savouring it, tasting it with her own. She lowered Tara back onto the bed and lay on top her her, parting the other girl's legs with her own. With her right hand, she trailed her fingers up from Tara's knee to her inner thigh, wandering them towards the nestle of blonde curls that were already dewy wet. When she finally touched Tara, both girls gasped at the sensation. Tara's eyes flew open and gazed into Willow's as she lifted her head back and felt her mouth open at the sweet moistness covering her fingers. Willow lifted one leg and straddled Tara's thigh, pressing her own wetness onto the tense muscles that felt so good between her legs.
A thin sheen of sweat beaded its way across Tara's stomach as she pushed her own fingers between Willow and her leg, reaching upward and inward with probing tips, caressing gently against the swollen passion there. She looked up at Willow; her eyes were closed and she was gently biting her bottom lip as she moved slowly in a rhythm that was matched by the movement of her own hand. Tara's own eyes lazily dropped shut, and she was met with flashes of electric blue and red as the sensations crept up and down her body, emanating from deep within her.
The only sound in the room was of their breathing, quickening with the pace of their lovemaking. Tara's right hand reached up and lay beside her head on the pillow, as Willow's covered it and intertwined their fingers. Their hands squeezed together as they approached the white light that beckoned and shone from their naked bodies in the darkness of the room. As it enveloped the two, their eyes opened and gazes met in a moment of purity, as the light exploded and covered them both. Willow's back arched and she pressed herself down hard onto Tara's fingers, just as the other girl bucked and moaned underneath Willow's own touch.
Willow dropped down to lie beside Tara, waiting, like the other girl, for her breathing to return to normal and her heart to stop pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to break out of her chest. Their hands still clasped the other, just to feel the physical connection, just to feel the warmth of human contact. As Willow lay her head on the pillow beside Tara's she saw the other girl turn and look at her.
"I really needed that." Tara panted. "Really.....just wanted to...."
"Oh me too....." Willow breathed, "Me....too....God I love you....love making love with you....." a smile breathed its way over her mouth.
Tara reached down and pulled the duvet over them, as they both felt the cold hit their hot and perspiring bodies. She reached her arm around the redhead and pulled her close, nestling her face into the titian hair that was now damp and mussed up. She breathed the scent of Willow in, loving that special smell of her after they had made love, an earthy mixture of passion and fragrance. As sleep claimed her thoughts and her body, she felt her fears drift away into dreams and nothingness. She was safe now. Safe with Willow.
Tara was awake. She needed very little sleep these days. In fact, she was often afraid to go to sleep. She always had an unnerving feeling that when she was asleep people came into her room and watched her. It was like she knew, even though she was dreaming, that figures were around her bed. It creeped her out. And she had got into a routine of making sure that the house was empty before she finally closed her eyes. Sure, her mother always blessed her when she tucked her up, but Tara knew that other presences were drifting around her house all the time. Mainly when her father had company. That was what he called it. She didn't know what name to give it. All she knew was that he insisted she join the group and talk to all those old ladies about the craft.
She sighed and turned over onto her side, leaning her head on her elbow. Her gaze drifted slowly around her bedroom; the room she had had since she was born. The pictures adorning the walls were all images of landscapes and animals. She sometimes felt she'd outgrown pictures of cats, but couldn't quite bring herself to take them down. She'd love a pet, but her father frowned on such frivolities, told her that in time, she would appreciate all nature's animals, learn to use them for her powers. So she kept a virtual menagerie on her walls, all placed strategically around the wooden altar in the corner of her room. Maybe it was just as well she never had friends over from school, she was sure the altar would only confirm their fears that she was too different.
Sighing again she closed her eyes for a second, trying not to think about school. Being clever was one thing - that made her different, but being a trainee witch hardly helped with the social skills. Whilst all the other girls her age were talking about boys and makeup, all she wanted to talk about was drawing down the moon and Wiccan spirit names.
The craft excited her in ways that boys never did. Boys just didn't seem to interest her. Once, when she'd mentioned it haltingly to her mother, her mother had told her that she had `lots of time for that sort of thing' and that it wasn't important because someone as beautiful as her would draw the right person into her life in the end. In the end. Tara grimaced. Surely in the end had to have a beginning somewhere.....but it seemed like going on a date was never going to happen.
The boys she knew at school were rough and uncouth; they always seemed to be laughing at her behind her back. Sometimes in front of it too. And she was far too shy to be like the other girls anyways.....another grimace crossed her face. When Todd Rivers had partnered her in Physics, she had blushed every time he asked her to pass the Bunsen burner, and had practically died when he suggested meeting in the library to finish off the project together. How could someone like that possibly be interesting to boys? She'd seen how they reacted to girls like Marti Lomas, who laughed prettily and played with her chestnut hair in a flirtatious yet endearing way. Marti Lomas was the prettiest girl Tara had ever seen, and sometimes she sat and gazed at her in homeroom just because of her wide, brown eyes and full red lips.
Oh to be Marti Lomas at prom time, Tara thought longingly. Probably she had a date already picked out, some handsome guy who yearned for her healthy skin and musical voice. But Marti ran with the popular pack - hell, she literally headed it. And she'd never had the time to get to know Tara, even though they had worked together on the end of year production last year. Well....worked together....sort of.....Marti had had a leading role whilst Tara had applied her considerable artistic skills to the set.
The days when Marti had been rehearsing had been Tara's favourite, because, although Marti had no academic aspirations whatsoever (which Tara didn't fully understand - who wouldn't want to be clever?), she was a great actress. Her voice was rich and musical, and when she read her lines, Tara had found herself listening in rapt admiration. Yeah, and almost got caught out when Marti had demanded to know what she was staring at. Tara had blushed, she remembered, her cheeks growing hot at the painful memory, and had stuttered out some feeble excuse before turning to lash paint onto the hardboard set, wishing she had the nerve to just pay the girl a compliment. She'd come home that night and fell upon her spell books, looking for a glamour spell to highlight her dull hair and reddened cheeks.
The craft was wonderful. Ever since she could remember her mother had taught her about how to work spells, use herbs and invoke spirits. The two of them together were powerful. Her mother had told her that one day, when she was older, she would find that kind of power with another witch. Working with other witches when you truly communed with them was a special gift, her mother had said. Finding your spiritual mate was like a marriage, she had said, Tara's upturned face solemn as she listened, taking it all in. Her mother had told her that when she connected with someone on a mental and spiritual level, she would be able to achieve powerful magick of such depth, it would open her to another world completely. But it would take another witch of power, another witch of intelligence and thought.
Shivering slightly, Tara pulled the covers up around her. That word, witch, had always made her think of green-skinned, warty crones dressed in black, whizzing around the countryside on broomsticks. What her mother had taught her had made all that seem as insignificant as the boys as school. Witches weren't about turning people into frogs and other fairytale nonsense......they were about communing with the powers of nature, being open to receive the spirits of the world, and the nether world.
The more Tara learned about the craft, the more she realised that she was seeing the world around her with different eyes. Every day she sensed more about how the world worked, how nature combined with energies to suffuse her with more power. And her powers were strong. So her mother told her; so her father realised. She was lucky, he had said, she was the strongest yet of her mother's line. Whatever that meant, she sniffed, sighing again. Her father scared her sometimes with his intensity about the craft. Perhaps it was because he didn't have any powers; maybe that was why he was so interested in hers. Her mother had once jokingly said that he had married her partly for love of her, and partly for love of witchcraft.
But he invited strange people to the house. They came in groups, and sat chanting in the evening. When she was much younger, he had never allowed her in, until her eleventh birthday when she was introduced. Now, at fourteen, Tara was expected to participate. Made to. They often attempted to make her the anchor of their conjuring, but she was always reticent to take part. She didn't know many of them, and liked even fewer. When she told her mother this, she had merely nodded and agreed. But done nothing about it. It was like her mother did what her father wanted. Like she was under a spell of his or something. Maybe that was what love was like, where you'd do anything for someone.
Tara pulled a face. Love. That was something she just didn't want. No one ever showed any interest in her at school. They called her a freak because of her parents and the meetings at her house, and mostly ignored her. She didn't care though, because she always had her spells and reading at home. Most of her free time was spent in the dusty attic where her mother kept all her tools, or in front of her own altar. She glanced across at it now, a distant shape on the other side of her huge room. The candlesticks she had placed there stood tall, guarding the centre of the magical circle drawn around it. She often sat in front of it, candlelight playing over her face as she meditated, filling her head with wishes that could come true. And that was enough for now.
A sound broke into her thoughts. She frowned and craned her neck towards the chink of light coming through the space where her bedroom door wasn't quite closed. Someone was out there. She shivered involuntarily, hoping that they weren't going to come into her room. No.....it was a conversation she could hear. Fragments of speech came to her. She closed her eyes and concentrated, willing the sound to become clearer. Sometimes it worked with the kids at school, she didn't see why it wouldn't work now.
The sound came to her more strongly. Two voices. One...her father's, deep and rumbling, his tone urgent and confidential. The other voice.....who was that?.... then Tara realised, with a chill, that it was Mrs Lake. Spooky old Mrs Lake. If anyone was the stereotypical witch, it was her. She tried to stop thinking and listened instead.
"Ginny....don't go in there now. Let the child sleep." her father was saying.
"Robert, I just wanted a peek. She's an unusual child. So young, yet so powerful." the woman answered.
"Which is why she needs to get as much strength as she can. She needs to gather her powers, nurture them, feed them so that she can achieve her potential." Tara felt his voice move as he stood in front of her door, the chink of light almost blocked out by his huge body.
"It's so exciting Robert. Do you know how long I've been waiting for the right child to come along?"
"I do. As long as we all have. The group seem to like her as much as you do."
"Like her?" a sound like a snort of laughter punctuated the woman's speech, "It's not a case of liking her Robert. As a child she's too quiet, introverted and shy. But as a witch....." again the sound of a triumphant laugh, "...as a witch she can do things we've only dreamt about."
"Oh yes." her father's voice was matter of fact. "Things we've only dreamt about. All becoming real. But in time. Now let's join the others downstairs, we'll try that ritual once more before we break up."
Their voices faded as they made their way downstairs. Tara blinked once, and realised that she had been gripping the bedclothes so tightly that they were pulled taut over her body. She attempted to lie back in her bed, but her body was tensed and rigid. Still hearing their voices in her head she pushed against her eyes with her fists. Stop listening, she told herself, stop listening to them. But, try as she might, she still heard their conversation long after she had gone to sleep.
Tara walked up the steps and entered the main corridor of Sunnydale Metropolitan, hating the dank cold that always seemed to linger around the entrance. She sensed the darkness inside the school, even if no one else did. But she guessed that was just her witch-sense awakening her natural feelings of apprehension that tickled the back of her neck every time she came to school.
Her parents had wanted to send her to Sunnydale High School, but with it being all the way across town, and with them living out of the way, it didn't seem like a good idea. For some reason, her mother and father were strictly against her being out at night, and all that travelling would have meant coming home in the dark during winter. They had never explained why they were so adamant that she go to the nearest school, and why she wasn't allowed out at night on her own, even when she had tried to tell them that she could look after herself. They had exchanged a strange knowing look and simply told her that Sunnydale Metropolitan was a good school. She'd be happy there.
But, Tara thought as she made her way to her locker, she wasn't happy. Not even remotely. Although it was still quite early, the corridor was already beginning to fill up with students. She didn't look at any of them as she reached her locker and fiddled with the combination. They were all strangers to her. In the years that she had been attending, she had never once had a friend home, or been invited to anyone else's home. Her mother had tried to encourage friends of a sort, by signing her up for drama group, but Tara had willingly taken a back seat and had only undertaken tasks that involved not talking to others, or working with others, or often being in the same room as others. As an only child, she had embraced solitude and made it her only friend. Besides, she had quickly discovered that to have pals at school, you had to be outgoing and popular. Like Marti Lomas.
Tara opened her locker and attempted to push her armful of books inside it, but it was already full of the books she had checked out of the library yesterday. Her efforts to pile them on top of each other failed miserably as she overbalanced and sent several large tomes crashing loudly to the floor in front of the lockers. A crimson flush covered her face as she flung herself down beside them, grabbing for a copy of Shakespeare's Complete Works that skidded into the middle of the corridor. She crawled towards it, painfully aware that, as the start of school drew nearer, more and more students were arriving to watch her humiliation.
Reaching the book, she knelt and picked it up, only to see a pair of expensive shoes stop in front of her. Following the feet to the ankles, and up the legs, all the way up the body, she saw Marti Lomas gazing down at her, a quizzical look plastered over her perfect face.
"Spend much time praying in the middle of the corridor?" she asked, her voice drifting down like rose petals to Tara's burning ears.
"I....uh.....m-m-my b-b-book...." she muttered in reply.
Marti crouched down and picked it up, looking at the cover. A small sound of delight escaped her pink lips. "Woah, Shakespeare." she exclaimed, "Complete works." Her eyes met Tara's for an instant before the blonde pulled her gaze away, afraid of staring again. "Read `em all yet?" she laughed.
"Um...n-n-no.....I was j-j-just looking for....it's for my English as- assignment." Tara gulped, amazed that she was able to get the sentence out at all.
"That's not due until next week. Guess I'll start thinking about it the night before." Marti giggled, handing the book over to Tara's trembling grasp.
The two girls stood up, Tara nervously hugging the volume to her chest, whilst Marti pushed at her hair, flicking it back over her shoulder in an easy motion that Tara, no matter how much she had practised in front of the mirror in her room, couldn't quite master.
"You're Tara right?"
Tara nodded dumbly. Was Marti Lomas actually trying to have a conversation with her?
"Thought so. You did the set for last year's production. It was great. You're a really talented artist." Marti said, a smile curving the corners of her heart-shaped mouth.
"Uh....th-thanks." Tara mumbled, unable to tear her gaze away from that smiling heart shape. Not smirking in ridicule, but actually smiling at her. Properly. She was sure that her mouth must be hanging open, but at this present moment didn't really care.
"You doing it again this year?"
A glow flooded through Tara. Yes....a conversation. Perhaps she could talk to people like Marti if she really tried. She smiled and shrugged, hopping from one foot to the other. "I don't know....m- maybe. Are you...?" she began, then stopped as a shadow fell over the two of them.
"Hey Marti, you promised to watch me practise before school." a familiar voice reached them, breaking Tara out of her reverie. She glanced to the side of Marti to see the tall, incredibly handsome figure of Ben Allen, Marti's sometime boyfriend. He had his bag slung over one shoulder, whilst his other arm now rested possessively around Marti's own shoulders. His gaze flicked up and down Tara, hardly disguising the confusion in his eyes. He just couldn't understand why his Marti should be talking to her.....it just wasn't done.
"Yeah well, my life doesn't revolve around you Ben...." Marti said, nestling against him, instantly switching into girlish mode. She rolled her eyes and nudged his well-built body. "Watching you run around a field isn't exactly my idea of fun."
"Oh....and what exactly is your idea of fun?" he moved a little closer to her. Tara felt herself recoil in disgust at his Neanderthal attempts at flirtation.
Marti giggled and pushed at him again, her eyelids fluttering. "Ben!" She glanced across at Tara, still standing in front of her, her head now low on her chest. "Uh...Ben, this is Tara. Tara, Ben. Tara helped out with the production last year."
Tara lifted her head to say hi but dropped it again when she saw the look in Ben's eyes. She knew what he said about her, she'd heard most of it one time in homeroom when he was extolling the virtues of pretty girls versus freaks. She knew which category she fell into.
"Uh huh." Ben shrugged. "Come on Marti, let's go." He pulled her away down the corridor without a second glance.
As they walked away, Tara turned back to her locker. She couldn't help watching the perfectly shaped figure sway down the corridor. That perfectly shaped figure who now glanced back over her shoulder and lifted a hand in goodbye. Just for a second, before she was back leaning into Ben's substantial form and giggling loudly at everything he said. Tara watched them until they turned the corner and disappeared. Marti Lomas had spoken to her. She had been nice. She had spoken to her and been nice. All at the same time. As she picked up the remaining books and rearranged them in her locker, Tara realised there was a smile on her face.
When Willow returned to the room she shared with Buffy, she found the other girl still sleeping. She closed the door with a gentle click and walked over to her bed, dropping down onto it with a sigh. She glanced across at Buffy, knowing that she wasn't angry with her anymore. She just wanted things to be right. Like they used to be. They never used to argue so much. But things had changed drastically since they'd come to college. The whole nature of the group had altered, with them all finding different avenues to follow. Sometimes she felt like the whole Scooby thing was falling apart, like it wasn't the tight working body it used to be. When they were all at high school it seemed so natural for them to stick together. Now she wasn't so sure.
Buffy rolled over in bed and opened her eyes. She squinted across at Willow, bringing her into focus. Leaning up on one elbow she smiled, a sad, apologetic smile.
"Hey. When did you get back?" she asked.
"Oh....just now." Willow answered. "I thought I'd better change before class."
A silence descended between the two. Not for the first time since coming to college, they found it hard to communicate with each other.
Buffy ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Look Will, we need to talk about this."
"I know."
"I like Tara. I really do." Buffy began.
"Though the `she's in my bad dreams' thing suggests otherwise...." Willow couldn't help saying. She caught the look in Buffy's eyes and held up her hands, "Well I'm sorry Buffy but she's my girlfriend! What did you expect?"
"A bit of patience maybe?" Buffy sat up in her bed and circled her knees with her arms. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but I will. All I'm asking is that you stay with me Will, I don't want to lose you."
"And I don't want to be lost!" Willow added quickly, sensing the tension and fear in Buffy's voice. "But Buffy, it doesn't seem fair. I mean, I just found Tara, and I don't want it all to fall to pieces so soon. It's really important that you try and understand us....what we are...."
"Which is why I want to get a hold of this. But I can't do it without you Will. You're my best friend and I need you. I need you to help me out with this thing. Please Will." Buffy felt tears rise in her throat as she looked across at the open face of her friend.
Willow got up from her bed and moved across to sit beside Buffy. She put her arms around the Slayer and held her close. Buffy put her arms around the slender form of the witch and hugged her back. In that moment, no apologies were necessary, each realised that the other would always be there, at the back of things, to support and love. Their sisterhood was implicit in that moment, a bond more than friendship. As they drew back from each other, Buffy's eyes were misty with tears. "I hate fighting with you." she said.
"Though in a literal sense that would involve me lying in a bleeding heap on the floor begging for your mercy.” Willow said, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth. She squeezed Buffy's hand and pushed her hair back from her face. "So what are we going to do?"
"I don't know." Buffy answered, her eyes crinkling with a frown. "I gotta try and work out these dreams. They're kinda....." she tried to choose her words as carefully as possible to avoid hurting Willow more than she had to, "....kinda strange. Will, I don't think Tara's told us everything. About her I mean."
Willow looked away around the room before bringing her gaze back to meet the clear eyes of her friend. "I know." she said simply. "Buffy, I think Tara's in trouble. And I think we need to help her."
"Has she said anything?"
"Only that she needs help." Willow's voice trembled slightly, "I don't know how....I mean, she needs to talk to me but something's stopping her. And I can't seem to...." she broke off, gulping at her words, "I don't know what's going on!" she leant against Buffy and began to sob softly, her body moving up and down with hurt.
"We'll make it okay." Buffy soothed, rubbing her back and holding her close. "I promise Will, we'll make it okay." Her words were comforting, but belied the unsettled feeling that flooded through her.
The day was sunny. Students sat around the campus, reading, playing, talking. It was busy with youthful vigour, matching the bright sunshine that flooded through the trees and dappled images across the grass. A day for fun, a day for enjoyment.
The mood on a certain blanket, however, was sombre and quiet. Tara and Willow sat opposite each other, both unsure of what to say. They had arranged to meet for lunch in the morning when Willow had left Tara's room. It had been strange when they woke up, after being so close the night before. When Willow had put her arms around Tara in bed, the blonde witch had pulled away, feigning urgency to get to an early class, although Willow had been sure that Tara's timetable indicated a free period. Her confusion had mounted when Tara hadn't even looked at her, had hardly spoken and had practically turned her back on her. It just wasn't like her. And when Willow had attempted to talk, Tara had simply asked her to meet for lunch, when she promised to explain everything.
And now they were together, their minds flailing desperately to meet in the vast expanse of confusion and worry. They hadn't looked at each other properly since sitting down, and Tara was gazing down at her hands, joined together in her lap, twisting the edges of her skirt as she sat cross-legged opposite Willow.
Willow glanced down at her watch. Although she wanted Tara to be the first one to talk, it was as though the other witch had retreated into herself again, just like when they first met. The old, shy Tara was back, and was hiding Willow's beautiful Tara again. Willow cleared her throat and reached across, laying her hand on Tara's knee.
"Tara, look....what's going on?" she tried to meet the other witch's eyes, but her head was hanging low on her chest. "Are you gonna talk to me?"
Tara took a deep breath and stared at Willow's hand on her knee. She raised her head and looked the redhead in the eye for a split second before looking far away around the campus, taking in all the other students. Happy students, she told herself. Carefree and....and....normal. How she wished she could be like them.
"Willow, there's some things you don't know about me." she began. "I'm not who you think I am...." she shook her head, "I don't even know if I'm who I think I am."
"What do you mean?" Willow urged, her voice heightened by apprehension.
"Uh....my parents.....they were...." Tara closed her eyes and pressed her lips together in an effort to order her words. She composed herself and opened her eyes, the clearest blue singing out of them. "My mom and dad were involved in a group.....a group of other witches...."
"A coven?" Willow was half-impressed and half-scared. Part of the reason she had never sought out a coven was because of the strength of the craft when powers were joined. She knew that only too well from her high school experiences with Amy Madison.
"Yeah....a c-coven." Tara nodded, her hair falling forward over her shoulders. "It was powerful stuff.....for me I mean. They - they wanted me to join it and make it complete.....you know, the thirteenth witch and all......s-so I did." She looked across at Willow, her face working itself into an almost apologetic and painful expression, "I didn't want to, I mean, I just wanted to practise my own stuff, but I was so young and needed....." she stopped and pressed her lips together again into a hard line, "I didn't have any friends at school. I didn't have anyone. Magicks was the only thing I could do where other people noticed me." she hung her head down in shame.
"So you joined a coven? Tara, that's not so bad." Willow comforted her, her voice soft and gentle like a caress. "I understand about the school thing...." her eyes recalled memories of what seemed like such a long time ago, "Before Buffy came to Sunnydale my best friends were my computer and Xander...." a sad smile crossed her lips, "Hardly the winner of most popular student."
"But I was completely alone!" Tara looked up at her, eyes red rimmed with unshed tears. "I had no-one. Apart from my parents and the others....." she shook her head, "They needed me to complete a ritual. A k-kind of binding spell. They told me it wouldn't work until they needed it to. Until the time was right. And I d-didn't r- really know what it was all about until a few months ago. I was doing some reading at home.....at my mom's house....and I discovered a scroll that told me all about it."
"So what did it say?" Willow realised that it seemed like the whole campus had floated away. She was completely involved in this discovery. And in Tara's soft voice, talking to her about things that were still so raw and personal. "Was it about the spell....what it would do?"
Tara nodded, biting her bottom lip before speaking. "Yeah. And me."
"About you?" Willow echoed, "There was a scroll about you?" She leant back and nodded in appreciation. "Cool." she breathed in admiration, before seeing the expression on Tara's face, "Uh....I mean, oh. As in...oh, that's uh.....bad. Isn't it?"
"I think so." Tara shrugged. "When I read it, it told me why the coven needed me."
"They needed you?" Willow asked, "Like a missing witch or something?"
"Only worse. Like the missing witch. To complete the spell, they needed a young, powerful witch. Someone who wouldn't get distracted as she got older. Someone who would practise to increase their powers. That was me." she finished, "It was all I did when I was at school."
"But...that's not so bad. I mean, spells can be broken. What did it say?" Willow was almost afraid to ask.
"That brings me to the part I've been dreading." Tara said in a tiny voice. She leant forward and took hold of Willow's hands, holding them between their bodies just as they did when they spoke magick. "Willow, I just want you to know that I love you. I didn't know I would, believe me, but I do. So very, very much."
"I know that." Willow smiled, "And I love you too. Tara, you know you can tell me anything. Don't be afraid."
"When I met you in the Wicca group.....uh.....it was meant to happen." Tara said slowly.
"The way I feel about you I think it was always meant to happen." Willow said, smiling. A smile that faded when she saw the blonde witch shaking her head.
"No....that's not what I meant." Tara said, "I mean, I was meant to be there to meet you. So we could become friends.....uh....or at least, try to become friends."
"You were there because of me?" Willow's voice was shaking slightly.
"To meet you. Work with you. Increase my powers. My mom once told me that working with another powerful witch would enhance my own powers....." Tara spoke quite firmly, "But Willow, she didn't tell me how much it would mean to me. I didn't know I was going to fall in love with you. You have to believe me."
"I do."
"And I was meant to work with you to meet Buffy."
Willow's face worked itself into a frown of pure confusion. "You wanted to meet Buffy?" She shook her head. "I don't understand. Why did you want to meet Buffy?"
"Because she's the Slayer." Tara stated. "Because the spell is about her."
The redhead felt a fear grip her insides, clenching at her heart. Everything she had taken for granted; Tara's unconditional love, now seemed to come attached with rules, commands, regulations.....all they had built between them seemed to be paper walls blowing away in the wind, rocking the foundations, tearing them from inside her. "What?" she whispered. "What......does the spell do?" she asked, even though she didn't want to hear the answer.
Tara pulled at Willow's hands, needing to feel some contact with the other girl. She could see that she was losing her, didn't want her to slip away. More than ever she needed Willow's strength now. "I didn't want to have any part of it." she said, her voice pleading with a fear she felt now so strongly, "I *don't* want to have any part of it. You have to believe me Willow. They....." she swallowed at the memory, "....they made me be the one. They made me...."
"What does the spell do?" Willow's voice was harder now, demanding an explanation.
"I-I-It draws down the power of the Slayer into the coven.....makes them strong....makes them more powerful...."
"And what does it do to Buffy?"
Tara shook her head, her eyes now filled with tears as she saw the hardness like a mask over Willow's face. The same mask that had covered the faces of all those other people in school. Not wanting to understand, not wishing to know her fully. Turning away.
"Tara. You have to tell me." Willow's voice brought her back to the present. The awful present. Painful, harsh and unforgiving.
When she did speak, her voice was no more than a whisper. "It kills her."
Giles paced the room of his apartment whilst Buffy sat on the couch in front of him, her face set like stone. Strewn around them were books, some open, some lying closed. He had been up all night researching the details Buffy could remember from her dreams. Taking the prophetic nightmares of the Slayer seriously was something he didn't view lightly. Buffy had rarely been wrong before, and this time it had quite unnerved her as well as himself. Dreaming so clearly about such a new member of the group spelt trouble. He was sure of that.
When she had arrived this morning, he had opened the door with a grim face. He had found what he had been looking for at 6 o'clock in the morning, and whilst that meant that he could sleep, he had been unable to close his eyes at the gravity of the situation.
Buffy hadn't ignored his dishevelled appearance, suggesting that he at least have a nap, but he had disagreed, preferring instead to explain his discovery fully so that she could get to work straight away. Although, having once told her, she had sunk down onto his couch, and sat there still, her face set in an expression he had seen before. Her determined face.
Finally he spoke, stopping his pacing long enough to face her, taking his glasses off and running a hand over his face.
"We should contact Willow, see if she can't help us with some kind of reversing spell or something."
Buffy looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "Giles, do you think that's wise? I mean, this isn't some demon type we're talking about here....this is someone she's incredibly close to."
"Someone she's close to who belongs to one of the most powerful covens I've ever come across." he added, watching her sigh in agreement and lean onto her legs, arms crossed. "These witches are to be taken extremely seriously. This isn't like anything you've faced before. Buffy," he sat down beside her, "They have been planning this spell since before Tara was born. Since before you were born. She's been reared to this....it's her destiny as being the Slayer is yours."
"So no go in the persuading her politely not to do it then?" she said cynically, watching as he replaced his glasses and glared at her. She shook her head, sighed, and sat back on the couch. "I guess the whole friends with us thing was just a way to get close to me."
"Well, it certainly looks that way." Giles agreed, "The text I translated indicated that she had to know something about you....the way you live....work.... Getting close to you through university and Willow seemed the most obvious way to do that."
"And what about Willow?" Buffy frowned, "Where does she fit in?"
Giles pulled a face of uncertainty, "That's the part I'm not quite sure about. There's certainly no mention of her in the text....I mean, no mention of another witch outside the coven. I suppose Tara was drawing strength from the spells she and Willow did together. Working with another witch is incredibly powerful."
"No, I mean, what about her and Willow....you know...being together?"
Giles stood up and began his pacing again. "It would appear that that relationship is purely incidental."
"Incidental?" Buffy echoed. "Come on Giles, you've seen those two together. I mean, we're talking big love here. Besides," she pointed at him, "What about all the times she's helped us out, the Faith thing?"
He shrugged and looked down at her. "Perhaps that was her way of becoming a friend to us all. Working her way into the group dynamic only gives her more inertia to break it up."
Buffy shook her head. "Giles, this just doesn't sound like her. Tara's not evil." she said the final word with distaste, "I've come up against some bad guys in my time and believe me, Tara's not like that."
"Evil or not," he stated, folding his arms, "She is the one to complete the spell. Now she's of the age to do it. Don't underestimate her Buffy, however much you like the girl, she's the missing link to unspeakable wrongdoing. I doubt that even *she* knows the full extent of her connections."
"Then maybe we can help her." Buffy stood up, her vigour renewed, "Maybe we should let her know exactly what's going on...." she stopped as she saw Giles shaking his head.
"Whether she knows the full extent of the spell or not, she's certain to be aware of what she must do. She cannot deny her fate Buffy, just as you can't. And my texts all indicate that the ritual must take place on the thirteenth. That's only two days away."
Buffy sat down again, her energies suddenly depleted. "So what do I do?" she asked wearily.
"You must prevent her from ever following the spell to its conclusion." Giles' voice was low and serious.
Buffy looked up at him, eyes wide. She had heard that tone in his voice before. She didn't like it then, and hated it now. "You mean.....kill her?" she asked incredulously.
Giles rubbed at his forehead with a hand, "Unless Willow and I can conjure up some kind of reversing spell....which looks highly doubtful..."
"Giles." Buffy said, looking him dead in the eye. "Do I have to kill her?"
He sighed and paused for a moment before answering. "Yes."
End of Part 2
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