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FADE IN:

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH A FEW MOUNTAINS

FREEZER and a bunch of ugly baddies are ready to go and kill everybody they meet. On another mountain, all the good guys, including VEGETA with a PINK SHIRT, are ready to battle dramatically 'til death.
 

Most of the AUDIENCE, thinking they’ve accidentally walked into a POWER RANGERS movie, leaves.
 
 

YAMUCHA collapses from laughter.
 
 

Someone joins the baddies.
 

Nevertheless, one of Freezer's GUARDS shoots stupidly and repetitivly at MIRAI-TRUNKS. This one dodges the bullets or stops them with a hand. Then, MIRAI-TRUNKS kills all the 15 guards by himself with his sword, even though we can't really see anything because of clips that last under a second each.

Cool music plays in the background.  It will not be on the soundtrack.  MIRAI-TRUNKS makes comical motions and gets into a typical martial arts pose. E.T. then makes a SMALL GUEST appearance.

Afterwards MIRAI-TRUNKS proceeds to kick the SHIT out of FREEZER.  He makes him explode and then gives him the finger and kicks him in the TESTICLES and decapitates him and shoves his head back up his own BUTT.  He violates numerous laws of physics and needs obvious special effects to do this. Vicariously through MIRAI-TRUNKS, the AUDIENCE feels very BAD ASS.  They immediately buy JEANS JACKETS and GREY TROUSERS and YELLOW BOOTS, and tint their HAIR IN PURPLE and see if they too can dodge BULLETS.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS shoots him, shoves a spike through him, decapitates him, kicks him in the crotch, drowns him, burns him, blows him into pieces, bashes him with a chair, bashes him with a table, bashes him with a BRUCE WILLIS, and pokes him in the eyes. He DIES.

When everything is over, MIRAI-TRUNKS brushes his hair with a hand.
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS turns to all GOKU's friends, watching from a distance.
 
 

FADE IN:
EXT.  ANOTHER DESERT WITH A FEW OTHER MOUNTAINS
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS creates a fridge out of nowhere filled with orange juice which won't become out-of-date before the next twenty years.
 

A CAPSULE arrives from the sky and crashes in the ground, forming a crater. Everybody gathers, waiting for GOKU to comes out.
 

A CAPSULE arrives from the sky and crashes in the ground, forming a crater. Everybody gathers, waiting for GOKU to comes out.

A NAKED chick comes out.
 

GOKU crashes his capsule in a crater. He comes out, stunned.
 
 

He follows MIRAI-TRUNKS into another desert with a few other mountains
 
 

They turn super saiya-jin with flashing yellow hair.
 
 

GOKU and MIRAI-TRUNKS proceed to fight, so that AKIRA TORIYAMA can do the Hong-Kong fight scenes he's dreamed of.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS throws his sword in the air and proceeds to explain the plot, which is very CREATIVE and INTERESTING, and very TEAR-CATCHING for all the people who imagine now this poor and cool-looking MIRAI-TRUNKS, fighting all his life against cruel MACHINES.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS leaves. Followed by a long, boring and corny 3 years period of time which the AUDIENCE is happy to see in fast mode, in which we learn that in their training to save the world, GOKU and PICCOLO also learnt how to drive
 

We also see how GOHAN got the autorization to fight alongside the rest of the Dragon Crew.
 

3 years later the almost complete DRAGON CREW is gathered on an island where the war is supposed to begin. VEGETA and MIRAI-TRUNKS are missing, and BULMA is there with a baby that all the AUDIENCE and GOKU recognize as TRUNKS. He has purple hair... He's gonna be a BAD ASS too....
 

Yajirobe's ship explode. Not that anybody cares, but that's how the cyborgs appears the first time. They proceed by hiding in the city. As they have no ki, the DRAGON CREW has problem to find them. One of the cyborgs impales YAMUCHA and steals his energy, while the other proceeds in destroying all the TALL, HARD, ERECT SKYSCRAPERS on the ISLAND.
 

GOKU interferes and fires at Cyborg19. The ki-blast bounces off of the cyborg and hits a nearby GAS STATION, which causes the GAS STATION and GAS TRUCK and GAS COMPANY and GAS STATION ATTENDENTS and CARS WITH GAS IN THEM and LAWNMOWERS to all BLOW UP.

Goku proposes a fight far from the city. Oddly, the cyborgs accept. They leave.
 

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH A FEW MOUNTAINS
 

Goku starts getting his heart disease and is beaten down by the cyborgs. He is saved by Vegeta who kills one of the cyborgs rather easily.
 

Crossed-look from VEGETA. CARY dies.
 
 

EXT. A FEW HUNDRED METERS ABOVE THE RAVAGED ISLAND

MIRAI-TRUNKS is levitating. He wears grey pant, yellow boots, and a blue jeans jacket. He will still be very BAD ASS.
GIRL DBZ FANS scream with high-pitched voice.
GIRL-DBZ-FANS' BOYFRIENDS grumble
 
 

He flies right into the fight, because he is HEROIC and really loves humans and wants to save them.  He is AWESOME.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS arrives, pissed off.
 
 

He bends on the side and the sword magically returns in the sleeve.
 
 

The score suddenly gets louder.
 
 

BULMA's ship explode. MIRAI-TRUNKS saves her and the baby he is at this time, because he's a damn good and charming hero.
 
 

VEGETA beats MIRAI-TRUNKS before flying to get the cyborgs.
 
 

The DRAGON CREW chase GUERO-CYBORG20 until his secret laboratory, where he releases the CYBORGS 17 and 18.
 
 

CYBORG17 decapitates CYBORG20 and crushes his head.
 

The two cyborgs 17 and 18 eventually activate the CYBORG16
 
 

CYBORG16 is not scary, but more in the GreenPeace way. He likes flowers and bees and birds and Britney Spears.
 

EXT. SOME OTHER DESERT WITH SOME OTHER MOUNTAINS
 
 

VEGETA and CYBORG18 fight. CYBORG18 kicks his ass.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS jumps from the cliff to rescue his father.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS decapitates the SPECIAL EFFECTS TEAM and ROBIN SHOU.
 
 

The DRAGON CREW is being beaten by the cyborgs who finally let them live and go away, chasing after GOKU. MIRAI-TRUNKS has broken his seven trillion dollars sword, but he's still wearing his grey pant, his yellow boots, his jeans jacket, and he still has his purple hair, so he's still very BAD ASS.
 
 

He leaves.
 
 

EXT. SOME CITY
 
 

CYBORG17 explodes the shop.
 
 
 

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH SOME MOUNTAINS

VEGETA is having a bad day.

This is exacerbated by the fact that he is supposed to be the strongest warrior in the universe.
 

Repeat this scene twenty-nine times.
 

INT. HOUSE

CHICHI is giving medecing to GOKU. Repeat this scene after every mention of Vegeta's supposed to be the strongest warrior in the universe.

MIRAI-TRUNKS and KRILIN come and pick up GOKU and co in their plane.
 
 

INT. ANOTHER SHOP
 
 

CYBORG17 explodes the shop.
 

CYBORG18 whips out her remarkably undammaged Nokia cellular phone and fires her agent.
 
 

INT. PLANE

Everybody listens intently as MIRAI-TRUNKS describes the future.  This lasts about 19 minutes before Mirai-Trunks and Gohan leave the plane to get some wreck of a time-machine in the wood with Bulma.
 

EXT. WOOD
 
 

They discover afterwards a giant cockroach shell. The girls in the audience shriek.
 
 

EXT. A CITY

CELL, an insect-lizzard cyborg kills a shitload of people.
 
 

PICCOLO arrives in the city.
 

PICCOLO proceeds to NEATLY VOMIT.
 

CELL, the insect-lizzard monster with a syringe-tail, comes by and sucks all the blood from THE GUY
 

CELL appears in front of PICCOLO.
 

CELL, obvioulsy never saw James Bond movies, and thus, ignores that a baddy must keep secret his origins and plans
 

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH SOME MOUNTAINS

VEGETA sneezes
 

EXT. CITY
 

Most of the audience members run out screaming.
 

Meanwhile, Mirai-Trunks and Krilin arrive.
 
 

Followed by a debate about time-paradoxes. 90% of the audience is now completely LOST.
 
 

PICCOLO, KRILIN and MIRAI-TRUNKS look around
 

CELL runs away and disappears.

VEGETA arrives, pissed off. PICCOLO explains to the others the origin of Cell.
 

They leave, leaving VEGETA whining.
 

INT. TURTLE HOUSE

CHICHI gives a medicine to GOKU.
 
 

INT. GERO'S SUB-LABORATORY

There are many computers here, they are all HUMMING. They are obviously very powerful as they don't have screens, just a few flashing lights. Despite this, they would be GOOD for QUAKE ARENA.
 

They explode the tank with the embryo-Cell
 
 

EXT. A ROAD... NEAR MOUNTAINS IN A DESERT
 

CYBORG16 sees a salad leave in what's remaining of a ham-cheese-salad sandwich, on the side of the road.
 

They leave, as well as a part of the AUDIENCE, stunned by such a logic.
 
 

INT. TURTLE'S HOUSE

GOKU wakes up.
 
 

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH SOME MOUNTAINS
 

VEGETA is standing on some rock, scowling. MIRAI-TRUNKS is sitting on some other rock, also scowling. They do stricly nothing else. GOKU arrives
 

INT. TURTLE'S HOUSE
 

EXT. SOME DESERT WITH SOME MOUNTAINS
 

EXT. IN THE SJY ABOVE SOME CITY

KRILIN, YAMUCHA, and TEN-SHIN HAN are trying to catch CELL by flying towards each city where they hear about an attack of his.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLAOTING PALACE
 
 

INT. ROOM OF SPIRIT AND TIME
 

EXT. TURTLE HOUSE
 
 

The camera explodes, gyrating wildly about.  They have cool kind of hong-kong fight for 20 minutes. AKIRA TORIYAMA is happy.
 

CELL absorbs CYBORG17 and is now very bad-ass.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE
 

EXT. SOME ISLAND
 

The AUDIENCE all goes to the lobby to buy M&Ms. When they get back they find they have missed NOTHING AT ALL. PICCOLO and TEN-SHIN HAN are getting their asses beaten by CELL in a dramatic and classical fight-scene.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE
 
 

EXT. SOME ISLAND
 

He opens a DR. PEPPER bottle, making sure the LOGO is facing the AUDIENCE, who then stampede to the lobby to buy lots of DR. PEPPER to wash down their M&Ms. When they return they find that the cyborgs gave up the DrPepper option to remain hidden on one of the island, and that GOKU has been rescuing TEN-SHIN HAN and PICCOLO and teleported them back to KAMI's PALACE.

Meanwhile, CELL destroys the islands one by one to find out where the cyborgs are hiding.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE
 

EXT. OCEAN ABOVE SOME ISLAND

CELL keeps on destroying the island one by one to find out where the cyborgs are hiding.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE
 

Suddenly someone from the SPECIAL EFFECTS TEAM spills espresso onto their ONYX WORKSTATION, and Gohan's LIPS grow soft and sticky as they slowly seal shut, melding into each other until all trace of his  mouth is gone.
 

EXT. OCEAN ABOVE SOME ISLAND

CELL keeps on destroying the islands one by one to find out where the cyborgs are hiding.
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE. NEAR THE ROOM OF SPIRIT AND TIME DOOR.
 

Suddenly, the Room Of Spirit And Time door opens, and MIRAI-TRUNKS comes out in a long sequence of JOHN WOO's slow motion. He has long hair, and ripped trouser and ripped tee-shirt, revealing bare-skin at many places. [see video of that sequence]
 

While Goku explains the plot, or what's looking like, Bulma brings new fighting suits for Mirai-Trunks and Vegeta.
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS and VEGETA are standing in their NEW, STRETCH and SEXY blue kombat suit.
 

EXT. EXT. OCEAN ABOVE ONE ISLAND
 

They fight.
 

CELL leaves. MIRAI-TRUNKS appears right before him!
 

Nevertheless, half of the AUDIENCE run outside to get ASPRINS... in case of... When they come back, they realize that CELL and MIRAI-TRUNKS are still talking, and that KRILIN discovered the cyborgs but says nothing.
 

CELL sees then Cyborgs18 and 16 and flies to them to absorb Cyborg18. MIRAI-TRUNKS attacks CELL to prevent him from absorbing CYBORG18. VEGETA attacks MIRAI-TRUNKS to prevent him from preventing CELL from absorbing CYBORG18. BULMA shows the HOLY PINK SHIRT to prevent Vegeta from preventing MIRAI-TRUNKS from preventing CELL from absorbing CYBORG18
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS and VEGETA keep on fighting and insulting each other, because the script was lost that day.

After about ten minutes of that,
 

While Krilin, Vegeta and Mirai-Trunks have their heads turned, Cell absorbs Cyborg18
 

CELL looks around himself, very confused.
 

CELL kneels down, until he is at eye level with VEGETA

CELL and VEGETA have a Hong-Kong style fight scene.  Both of them kick each others asses for about 20 minutes.  VEGETA blows away CELL's arm and shoulder.
 

Suddenly, CELL's ARM regenerates extremely fast, making the last 20 minutes entirely pointless, but cool-looking nonetheless. CELL proceeds in kicking VEGETA like hell.
 

VEGETA faints.
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS shows large muscles. Part of the audience puke. KRILIN takes VEGETA away one an island (and puke secretly). A large fight between CELL and MIRAI-TRUNKS ensues in slow motion. Twelve birds are killed. Various mountains are destroyed. CELL and MIRAI-TRUNKS beat the crap out of each other for a while, until MIRAI-TRUNKS WINS! CELL is stuck inside a rock.
 
 
 

He leaves, with the rock.

In another scene we really don't care about, GOKU begins to train GOHAN on how to fight so that AKIRA TORIYAMA can do again the Hong-Kong fight scenes he's dreamed of.

KRILIN and VEGETA arrive and MIRAI-TRUNKS explains them CELL's plans.
 
 

INT. CAPSULE CORPORATION's living room. On TV, CELL appears and announced officially the tournament
 

EXT. KAMI'S FLOATING PALACE

GOKU and GOHAN comes out of the Room of spirit and time
 

EXT. SOME DESERT AMONG SOME MOUNTAINS WHERE CELL BUILT THE TOURNAMENT PLACE.

The army of Earth arrives to destroy CELL with missiles and pokemon cards
 

Predictably, all the MILITARIES get killed by the giant blast CELL shot at them.

In the confusion which follows, GOKU whips off his tunique and saves a bus full of children from South Park who see dead people because they've spent too much time swinging through the Perfect Storm with Georges Clooney.
 
 

EXT. CELL'S TOURNAMENT PLACE... IN A DESERT AMOUNG MOUNTAINS
 

This is the TOURNAMENT DAY

GOKU is beating CELL, but stops the fight and declares forfeit, calling his son GOHAN as the next fighter. Before the kombat starts, GOKU gives a magical senzu to CELL to heal him.
 

Many DBZ and ANTI-DBZ fans leave.
 
 

CELL starts fighting against GOHAN
 

GOHAN grows mad and his hair becomes spiky on his head. GOHAN and CELL beat the crap out of each other for a while, until #18 is vomitted from CELL who regresses to his previous form. CYBORGS18 lands on the ground in a big SPLOOOOTCH!
 

GOKU telports Cell to another planet and they all explode.
 
 

MIRAI-TRUNKS ends up impaled by a laser shot by the organic cyborg from the future.
 

Having KILLED the most interesting and most popular character in the show, the story, or what’s left of it, moves on.
 

CELL proceeds in beating the hell out of VEGETA.
 

Meanwhile...
 

GOHAN and CELL throw a GIANT Ki-blast at each other, and, as they had lost the script again, they hold the Ki-Blast for a whole episod, and this is how the Toei Animation can win time.
 

Finally, VEGETA throws a mini-ki-blast at Cell to disturb him. Oddly, it works. GOKU sends his strength from the afterlife to his son, and GOHAN explodes Cell.
 

The rest of the conversation is drowned out as the few remaining Dragon Ball fans riot and burn the theater to the ground.
 

END