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SCAREDY CAT, SCAREDY CAT...
...what you think youre looking at?
Nothing,
Im looking at nothing.
I am scared to watch the news on television,
I am afraid to read the daily papers,
I no longer listen to the radio,
I sit in my 200 year old cottage
surrounded by familiar things;
Photographs of my children
and grand-children
With my books
and medicine for my ills.
With clean water in the taps
and heat from the fire
and a warm bed.
Safe and smug and hiding
and denying and frightened.
This house of mine
has never known war.
It has never known poverty.
It has never been afraid,
and I draw a little comfort
from those things.
I try desperately not to think
of other women and their children,
for then I must think about them,
and that I cannot do.
From my cocoon of warmth and safety
I pretend that all the war and pain
is nothing to do with me.
I didnt start it.
I cannot help.
I dont care.
But,
I do care,
and that is why I am afraid.
Because I dont know how to care
I can write like this
but it wont change anything.
I have no money to send.
I have no weapons for their fight.
I have no way of sending food.
I have no way to care.
Because,
I am afraid of what might happen.
Who should I write letters of support to,
who will read them?
If I could send money, who do I send it to?
How do I know which side is right or wrong?
Should I care more for children in Iraq
than I do for children in Iran?
More for Christian children
than Muslim children?
More for Catholic children
than Protestant children?
I dont know which children to care for.
And if I care for them all
wont that cancel out
one against the other?
Does that make it okay to do nothing,
nothing at all?
Except to sit in my house in silence,
Desperately not listening to the cries,
and the screams, and the suffering.
And thinking that, maybe,
tomorrow I will do something,
if I can overcome my fear.
Stop being a scaredy cat.
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