Strategies of Attack I: Foundations by Xandria
"Hey, you want to come with?"
"No. Joxer and I have other things to do." Xander, about to say something else, yelped in surprise as Strife grabbed him and they disappeared. They reappeared in a marketplace, behind a food stall.
"Hey Xan, when Unc says go, ya do it right away. Otherwise he might change his mind and decide to give you another job. Me, I need a break. I'm not only training you and the Mighty One, but I still have to get my other duties done too."
"I'm sorry it's…"
"Hey, don't be sorry 'Cuz. It's been fun."
"I just realized, how come you're teaching Joxer a different way?" Strife smirked at him and they began to walk around the market, looking at various stalls.
"It's more fun that way. And I wouldn't dare anyway."
"What?"
"Jox may not know it yet, but he belongs to Unc. I may be crazy, but not enough to get between him and his property.
"Hey! He's not property! Wait a minute, if you think that means I'm available for you to…"
"I'm just having a little fun here, no harm done."
"I thought you were interested in Feather Boy any way."
"What? Cupie? You gotta be kidding me!" Strife stopped and turned to glare at his cousin.
"Oh wait, do I hear a little denial?" Xander smirked at him. The God of Mischief glared at him.
"No, it's not denial! So what if he's got a really hot bod! And smile! And those Wings!"
"I can see it, ya know? Feather boy and Zipper boy, meant to be! Hey, gods can get pregnant can't they? Wouldn't you like to have his baby? Or have him bear yours?" Strife halted for a minute and he smiled, his eyes glazing over.
"Yeah, that would be…Wait a minute! I don't have a crush on Cupie!" He yelled, drawing attention from everybody around them.
"Okay."
"And I am not…What?!"
"I said okay. Ya don't have a crush on Feather Boy. Sure. I believe you."
"Aargh!" Strife screamed and jumped on Xander. He smirked and flipped the angry god over his shoulder, into a food stall. Strife stood up, crushed tomatoes oozing down his body as he stalked towards the laughing boy. He leapt again and Xander rolled under him as they punched and kicked each other. People leapt out of the way and some one began taking bets on the outcome as they crashed into people and stalls.
Xander and Strife were having a really good time fighting each other, as neither one could really get hurt. Then a pair of hands reached down and pulled them apart.
"Hey, what did you do that for?!" Xander glared at the woman.
"Hi Xena, how's tricks?" Strife said brightly. The Warrior Princess glared at the two as she held them, dangling slightly above the ground.
"What do you think you two were doing?!" they looked around at the devastation, the wrecked stalls, the shattered people. Strife giggled and disappeared, leaving Xander to face them by himself. He looked at Xena and weakly tried to smile.
"Oops."
"Oops?! Is that all you can say? Between you, you two utterly destroyed the marketplace!"
"Sorry?" Xander said as he wriggled in Xena's grasp.
"Look at all this damage. I know Strife won't, but can you even come up with the money to pay for this?!"
"I don't have any." Xander said sullenly.
"You're wearing silk and leather, and you don't have any money? And what about this jewelry?"
"Look, put me down so I can think straight will you? These clothes were given to me by my father, like the jewelry. I'm sorry this happened, I got carried away. I'm perfectly willing to help clear up the mess, though."
Gabrielle caught up to them and glared at Xander.
"Just what do you think you were doing there?"
"What is this, an echo? I already told Leather girl there I'll help clear up!"
"You can't just go around wrecking markets at will!"
"I didn't set out to wreck this one! I just got a little carried away fighting Strife, is all."
"Strife! Where is he?"
"He left. I'm gonna get him good when I catch up to the weasel, too!"
Strife reappeared.
"Weasel?!"
"Yeah, you just weaseled out of putting up with Leather Girl and Blondie here!"
"Xena! Gabrielle!" the god of mischief smiled widely at the two irate women.
"Strife, you can't just go around destroying marketplaces…" Xander interrupted Gabrielle.
"Wait a minute! This is Gabrielle? And Xena?! You're fine ones to talk, aren't you!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Me and Strife, we caused a little property damage, no biggie. You, between the two of you, have managed to destroy a man. It may not be a biggie to you, but it is to anyone who cares about him!" Strife stared at him and waved his hand, fixing all the damage.
"Leave it alone, Xan. They can't hear ya."
"But look at what they've done to poor Jox. It's just like my friends were doing to me back in Sunnydale."
"I know. But they think they know best and won't hear anything else. Xena maybe but Blondie…"
"Wait a minute! You know where Joxer is?
"I do. But I'm not telling you where he is. He's happy, and he's beginning to recover from your so-called friendship!"
"Recover?!"
"Where's Joxer?" Xena demanded.
"What do you want with Joxer?" Xander said suspiciously.
"Where is he?!" she demanded again.
"I don't see why I should say anything to you!"
"Xander. That's Xena."
"Yeah. And?" Strife got a big grin on his face.
"Ya forgot already? No, let me introduce everybody. Xander, the little blond is Gabrielle, an Amazon Queen,the woman who is currently threatening us is Xena, Warrior Princess. I'm Strife, God of Mischief. Xena, the boy you are trying to hurt at the moment is Xander, your brother." Xena stepped back in shock.
"Brother?"
"Yeah. Remember Ares, Big Bad God of War, your Dad? He's Xander's, too."
"Are you sure she's my relative through Dad, Strife? She acts more like a member of my adoptive family."
"No. She's your sister."
"Great. Another psycho in the family. I think I like your Mum better."
"Wait until you know her more. Even Gabby's better than my Mum."
"Wait a minute. How come I've never heard of you before?" Gabbrielle said suspiciously.
"Yeah? Well, I remember what I heard about you. You psychos lay off Jox! He still has nightmares because of you two!" Xander glared at them and began to walk away. Gabrielle ran forward and tried to twist his nose. Xander grabbed her wrist instead and glared at her.
"Let her go!" Xena demanded.
"When she apologizes. What, she thinks she can go around and just hurt people at random and get away with it?"
"I only want to know where Joxer is. He's our friend." Xander let go of her in disgust.
"Some friend! Who needs enemies with a friend like you! Hitting him, making fun of him, breaking his heart!"
"You go boy. Tell 'em all about it."
"No. Strife, get us out of here. I just wanna get away from these two." Xander glared at them both, not looking away when Xena glared back.
"Come on Xan, let's go." Strife put his arms around Xander and disappeared in a flash of purple and silver sparks.
"You've improved quite a bit, Joxer. Its time make this a little more interesting." Ares smiled at Joxer who nervously returned it.
"If you say so Ares."
"Very good." Ares attacked suddenly with his sword and Joxer held him back for a moment, until Ares did a sideways thrust and his sword went flying.
"Oh dear. Guess you pay the penalty for that."
"Penalty?"
"Didn't I say? Each point lost, you lose an item of clothing." Joxer swallowed and took off his vest. The God of War smiled again and handed him his sword.
"Come on Xan, cool down."
"You know, I thought Buffy was the most selfish, inconsiderate bitcah around. Gabrielle comes pretty close."
"And Xena?"
"Probably more inclined to give a fair hearing. I dunno, now I'm just so…"
"Look, I'll buy you a drink, you'll feel better." Arms still around Xander's shoulder, Strife took Xander into the nearest inn. A hooded man in the corner took one look at Strife and got up to run.
The God of Mischief giggled and shot a small fireball over the door, causing a vase to fall on the man's head. He fell down and Strife walked over to him.
"What did you do that for?"
"He ran from me. I gotta see who it is."
"Ya knocked him out for curiosity?" "Yeah. And?"
"Never mind. It's a God thing, right?" Strife giggled and lifted up the hood. Underneath was a tall handsome man with a beard and brown hair. He opened his eyes then and smiled weakly at Strife.
"Hi Strife. Kid."
"Autolycus? What ya hiding from me for? I got no problem with you."
"Oh wait, you don't know about…nothing Strife, nothing at all"
"Ooh, a secret, I love secrets." Strife said, sitting on Auto's waist and reaching his hands down. Xander stopped him.
"Strife, could we eat first?"
"Ya don't mind the questioning then?"
"Why should I?"
"Hey kid, what did I ever do to you?"
"Nothing. But I know Strife won't really hurt ya. Much."
"Don't count on it."
"Look, I want food and I want it now!' Xander glared at Strife and sat down at a table. Strife scowled but sat down too. Auto followed out of curiosity and sat with them.
"You're gonna let him talk to you like that?"
"What can I say? He's beautiful when he's angry." Xander glared at Strife as he burst out laughing.
Joxer had nothing left on but his leather pants, and was wet with perspiration when he called for a break.
"This isn't fair. I'm nowhere near good enough to fight you like this."
"Hey, all's fair in war and love. So, you don't want to play anymore?"
"No. I'm too tired."
"So you concede. Good." Ares stepped forward and swept Joxer up into his arms, kissing him. Joxer wrenched his head back and stared at him.
"What was that for?"
"I won the game. And the winner takes all, including the loser."
"Oh. Okay." Joxer lifted his head up and kissed Ares, moving his hands inside his vest to his back.
Ares smiled and transported them both to his bed, Joxer underneath as he nibbled on the mortal's flesh.
"Can it Strife!"
"Or what? What ya gonna do? Huh? Come on Xan, let's see what you've got!"
Xander yelled and produced a fireball, throwing it at Strife. It knocked him back across the room and he slumped down against the wall. Xander stared at Strife, then at his hand, before running to the God of Mischief.
"Strife! Strife! Are you okay? How did I do that?!" He bent over close to the god's face. Strife opened his eyes suddenly and grabbed Xander, pulling him down before kissing him. Xander struggled for a minute then sighed and put his arms around the god. They pulled back, gasping for air.
"Ya did it Xan!"
"Did what? And how did I do it? And do I want to admit to it?"
"Of course ya do! You're a god, Xan, a fully manifested one!"
"How?"
"Well, Unc wasn't sure if you'd been around the Chronus Crystal long enough, but you have! He wanted me to try and get ya going, see if ya would. It's easier to start it with extreme emotion, usually rage. So, you're a god."
"I'm a god?! Hey, that beats the witch and werewolf thing!" Xander bent forward and kissed Strife, hard.
To Be Continued in Joxer and Ares