William It Was Really Nothing

The rain falls hard on a humdrum town

This town has dragged you down

Oh, the rain falls hard on a humdrum town

This town has dragged you down

Oh, no, and everybody's got to live their life

And God knows I've got to live mine

God knows I've got to live mine

William, William it was really nothing

It was your life ...

How can you stay with a fat girl who'll say :

"Oh ! Would you like to marry me ?

"And if you like you can buy the ring"

She doesn't care about anything

Would you like to marry me ?

And if you like you can buy the ring

I don't dream about anyone - except myself !

Oh, William, William it was really nothing

William, William

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What Difference Dies It Make

All men have secrets and here is mine

So let it be known

For we have been through hell and high tide

I think I can rely on you ...

And yet you start to recoil

Heavy words are so lightly thrown

But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you

So, what difference does it make ?

It makes none

But now you have gone

And you must be looking very old tonight

The devil will find work for idle hands to do

I stole and I lied, and why ?

Because you asked me to !

But now you make me feel so ashamed

Because I've only got two hands

Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

So, what difference does it make ?

Oh, what difference does it make ?

Oh, it makes none

But now you have gone

And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight

Oh, the devil will find work for idle hands to do

I stole, and then I lied

Just because you asked me to

But now you know the truth about me

You won't see me anymore

Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

But no more apologies

No more, no more apologies

Oh, I'm too tired

I'm so sick and tired

And I'm feeling very sick and ill today

But I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

Oh, my sacred one ...

Oh ...

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These Things Take Time

My eyes have seen the glory of the sacred wunderkind

You took me behind a dis-used railway line

And said "I know a place where we can go

Where we are not known"

And you gave me something that I won't forget too soon

But I can't believe you'd ever care

And this is why you will never care

These things take time

I know that I'm

The most inept

That ever stepped

I'm spellbound, but a woman divides

And the hills are alive with celibate cries

But you know where you came from, you know where

You're going and you know where you belong

You said I was ill, and you were not wrong

But I can't believe you'd ever care

And this is why you will never care

These things take time

I know that I'm

The most inept

That ever stepped

Oh, the alcoholic afternoons

When we sat in your room

They meant more to me

Than any, than any living thing on earth

They had more worth

Than any living thing on earth

On earth, on earth, oh ...

Vivid and in your prime

You will leave me behind

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This Charming Man

Punctured bicycle

On a hillside desolate

Will nature make a man of me yet ?

When in this charming car

This charming man

Why pamper life's complexity

When the leather runs smooth

On the passenger seat ?

I would go out tonight

But I haven't got a stitch to wear

This man said "it's gruesome

That someone so handsome should care"

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy

Who never knew his place

He said "return the ring"

He knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight

But I haven't got a stitch to wear

This man said "it's gruesome

That someone so handsome should care"

La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ...

Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man ...

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy

Who never knew his place

He said "return the ring"

He knows so much about these things

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How Soon is Now

I am the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth

How can you say

I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

I am the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Oh, of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth

How can you say

I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you'd like to go

You could meet somebody who really loves you

So you go, and you stand on your own

And you leave on your own

And you go home, and you cry

And you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"

Well, when exactly do you mean ?

See I've already waited too long

And all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth

How can you say

I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

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Handsome Devil

All the streets are crammed with things

Eager to be held

I know what hands are for

And I'd like to help myself

You ask me the time

But I sense something more

And I would like to give

What I think you're asking for

You handsome devil

Oh, you handsome devil

Let me get my hands

On your mammary glands

And let me get your head

On the conjugal bed

I say, I say, I say

I crack the whip

And you skip

But you deserve it

You deserve it, deserve it, deserve it

A boy in the bush

Is worth two in the hand

I think I can help you get through your exams

Oh, you handsome devil

Oh, let me get my hands

On your mammary glands

And let me get your head

On the conjugal bed

I say, I say, I say

I crack the whip

And you skip

But you deserve it

You deserve it, deserve it, deserve it

And when we're in your scholarly room

Who will swallow whom ?

When we're in your scholarly room

Who will swallow whom ?

You handsome devil

Oh, let me get my hands

On your mammary glands

And let me get your head

On the conjugal bed

I say, I say, I say

There's more to life than books, you know

But not much more

Oh, there's more to life than books, you know

But not much more, not much more

Oh, you handsome devil

Ow !

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Hand In Glove

Hand in glove

The sun shines out of our behinds

No, it's not like any other love

This one is different - because it's us

Hand in glove

We can go wherever we please

And everything depends upon

How near you stand to me

And if the people stare

Then the people stare

Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care

Kiss My Shades

Hand in glove

The Good People laugh

Yes, we may be hidden by rags

But we've something they'll never have

Hand in glove

The sun shines out of our behinds

Yes, we may be hidden by rags

But we've something they'll never have

And if the people stare

Then the people stare

Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care

Kiss My Shades ... oh ...

So, hand in glove I stake my claim

I'll fight to the last breath

If they dare touch a hair on your head

I'll fight to the last breath

For the Good Life is out there somewhere

So stay on my arm, you little charmer

But I know my luck too well

Yes, I know my luck too well

And I'll probably never see you again

I'll probably never see you again

Oh ...

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Still Ill

I decree today that life

Is simply taking and not giving

England is mine - it owes me a living

But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

But we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore

No, we cannot cling to those dreams

Does the body rule the mind

Or does the mind rule the body ?

I dunno...

Under the iron bridge we kissed

And although I ended up with sore lips

It just wasn't like the old days anymore

No, it wasn't like those days

Am I still ill ?

Oh ...

Am I still ill ?

Oh ...

Does the body rule the mind

Or does the mind rule the body ?

I dunno...

Ask me why, and I'll die

Oh, ask me why, and I'll die

And if you must, go to work - tomorrow

Well, if I were you I really wouldn't bother

For there are brighter sides to life

And I should know, because I've seen them

But not very often ...

Under the iron bridge we kissed

And although I ended up with sore lips

It just wasn't like the old days anymore

No, it wasn't like those days

Am I still ill ?

Oh ...

Oh, am I still ill ?

Oh ...

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Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life

Why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life

Oh, why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day

Caligula would have blushed

"You've been in the house too long" she said

And I (naturally) fled

In my life

Why do I smile

At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

But heaven knows I'm miserable now

"You've been in the house too long" she said

And I (naturally) fled

In my life

Why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

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This Night Has Opened My Eyes

In a river the colour of lead

Immerse the baby's head

Wrap her up in the News Of The World

Dump her on a doorstep, girl

This night has opened my eyes

And I will never sleep again

You kicked and cried like a bullied child

A grown man of twenty-five

Oh, he said he'd cure your ills

But he didn't and he never will

Oh, save your life

Because you've only got one

The dream has gone

But the baby is real

Oh, you did a good thing

She could have been a poet

Or, she could have been a fool

Oh, you did a bad thing

And I'm not happy

And I'm not sad

A shoeless child on a swing

Reminds you of your own again

She took away your troubles

Oh, but then again

She left pain

So, please save your life

Because you've only got one

The dream has gone

But the baby is real

Oh, you did a good thing

She could have been a poet

Or, she could have been a fool

Oh, you did a bad thing

And I'm not happy

And I'm not sad

Oh ...

And I'm not happy

And I'm not sad

Oh ...

And I'm not happy

And I'm not sad

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You've Got Everything Now

As merry as the days were long

I was right and you were wrong

Back at the old grey school

I would win and you would lose

But you've got everything now

You've got everything now

And what a terrible mess I've made of my life

Oh, what a mess I've made of my life

No, I've never had a job

Because I've never wanted one

I've seen you smile

But I've never really heard you laugh

So who is rich and who is poor ?

I cannot say ... oh

You are your mother's only son

And you're a desperate one

Oh ...

But I don't want a lover

I just want to be seen ... oh ... in the back of your car

A friendship sadly lost ?

Well this is true ... and yet, it's false

Oh ...

But did I ever tell you, by the way ?

I never did like your face

But you've got everything now

You've got everything now

And what a terrible mess I've made of my life

Oh, what a mess I've made of my life

No, I've never had a job

Because I'm too shy

I've seen you smile

But I've never really heard you laugh

So who is rich and who is poor ?

I cannot say ... oh

Oh ...

You are your mother's only son

And you're a desperate one

Oh ...

But I don't want a lover

I just want to be tied ... oh ... to the back of your car

To the back of your car

Oh ...

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Accept Yourself

Every day you must say

So, how do I feel about my life ?

Anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

When will you accept yourself ?

I am sick and I am dull

And I am plain

How dearly I'd love to get carried away

Oh, but dreams have a knack of just not coming true

And time is against me now...oh

Oh, who and what to blame ?

Oh, anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

When will you accept yourself, for heaven's sake ?

Anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

Every day you must say

Oh, how do I feel about the past ?

Others conquered love - but I ran

I sat in my room and I drew up a plan

Oh, but plans can fall through (as so often they do)

And time is against me now...

And there's no-one left to blame

Oh, tell me when will you ...

When will you accept your life ?

(The one that you hate)

For anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

Every day you must say

Oh, how do I feel about my shoes ?

They make me awkward and plain

How dearly I would love to kick with the fray ...

But I once had a dream (and it never came true)

And time is against me now...

Time is against me now...

And there's no one but yourself to blame

Oh, anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

Anything is hard to find; for heaven's sake !

Anything is hard to find

When you will not open your eyes

When will you accept yourself ?

When ?

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Girl Afraid

Girl afraid

Where do his intentions lay ?

Or does he even have any ?

She says :

"He never really looks at me

I give him every opportunity

In the room downstairs

He sat and stared

In the room downstairs

He sat and stared

I'll never make that mistake again !"

I'll never make that mistake again

Boy afraid

Prudence never pays

And everything she wants costs money

"But she doesn't even LIKE me !

And I know because she said so

In the room downstairs

She sat and stared

In the room downstairs

She sat and stared

I'll never make that mistake again !"

Back To The Old House

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

There's too many

Bad memories

Too many memories

There ...

When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I've ever seen

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to

Are you still there ?

Or ... have you moved away ?

Or have you moved away ?

Oh ...

I would love to go

Back to the old house

But I never will

I never will ...

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Reel Around The Fountain

It's time the tale were told

Of how you took a child

And you made him old

It's time the tale were told

Of how you took a child

And you made him old

You made him old

Reel around the fountain

Slap me on the patio

I'll take it now

Oh ...

Fifteen minutes with you

Well, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people said that you were virtually dead

And they were so wrong

Fifteen minutes with you

Oh, well, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people said that you were easily led

And they were half-right

Oh, they ... oh, they were half-right, oh

It's time the tale were told

Of how you took a child

And you made him old

It's time that the tale were told

Of how you took a child

And you made him old

You made him old

Oh, reel around the fountain

Slap me on the patio

I'll take it now

Ah ... oh ...

Fifteen minutes with you

Oh, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people see no worth in you

Oh, but I do.

Fifteen minutes with you

Oh, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people see no worth in you

I do.

Oh, I ... oh, I do

Oh ...

I dreamt about you last night

And I fell out of bed twice

You can pin and mount me like a butterfly

But "take me to the haven of your bed"

Was something that you never said

Two lumps, please

You're the bee's knees

But so am I

Oh, meet me at the fountain

Shove me on the patio

I'll take it slowly

Oh ...

Fifteen minutes with you

Oh, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people see no worth in you

Oh, but I do.

Fifteen minutes with you

Oh, no, I wouldn't say no

Oh, people see no worth in you

I do.

Oh, I ... I do

Oh, I do

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Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want

Good times for a change

See, the luck I've had

Can make a good man

Turn bad

So please please please

Let me, let me, let me

Let me get what I want

This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time

See, the life I've had

Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life

Let me get what I want

Lord knows, it would be the first time