And Now it's Time For ... Daria's Local Entertainment Guide

Daria's Local Entertainment Guides


all by Daria O'Neill
105.1 The Buzz (formerly 94.7 KNRK)
transcribed by Mystical Chicken

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT Daria. I did not write these, I just transcribed them.

Posted with permission.

*Now!* With Rocky and Bullwinkle-esque titles! (for some anyway)

(all non-links will work sooner or later ... just keep checking back)

Kah-Nee-Tah Casino OR Never Bet a Twenty on a Five Dollar Machine
Make the Yuletide Gay OR Turn Off the Microphone, Dave, For the Love of God!
Portland Vs. Seattle OR God Dammit Everclear Is A Legitamate Rock Band
Evel Kneivel OR Never Try This at Home
Wishbone Wars
Polar Bear Initiation
"Forest Whitaker" Party
Buffalo Wings
Satan Lives in Rock and Roll
Cell Phones
Nicki vs. Matt
Popeye
Porn n' Pizza
You Know What I Hate?
Dog Dancing
Poor Sick Steve
Christmas Lights
Easter's Going to the Dogs
P is for Patch
Suckamuck
Christmas Decorations
Boxing Day
How the Seuss Killed the Movie Execs OR The Greatest Poem of All Time
The Immersion Cure OR Need a Bludgeoning Device? Try a Box of Bounce Dryer Sheets--INCOMPLETE (tape ran out!)
Beware the 6th Graders
Goth Kids [heart] Crunch Berries
Hiding Places
The Hippie Factor Part 1
The Hippie Factor Part 2
The Hippie Factor Part 3
Carob Sucks!
The French Connection (this has NOTHING to do with the movie of the same title)
The Ramones Fiasco
Steve the Speed Demon
Bug Off
Ultimate Bar Mitzvah OR Isn't That Burt Reynolds? (tape ran out in middle; missed about 20 secs.)
Big Jean on the Swim Team Part 1
Big Jean on the Swim Team Part 2
Who's Hotter, "Archie" or Scott Baio? Part 1
Who's Hotter, "Archie" or Scott Baio OR What the Hell is Up With All These Two Parters? (missed beginning)
I Think I'm Paranoid (not sure, but might have missed beginning)
Is Dalton a Druggie OR How the Hell Can You Even Be a Druggie With a Name Like "Dalton"?
Children of the Corn-Museum
Massage Thoughts OR I Am Never Going to Arizona. NEVER.
The Wonder Washer
Charlie Brown's High School Reunion
Rip-off Ripleys OR They All Spit You Out in the Gift Shop
"Friends" in High Places
Drunk Grandma
Count St. Jermaine OR Shouldn't There Also Be a Count St. Tito?
Daria the Jersey Girl
Goth Love
Belly Dancing Fiasco OR Yes, I Know I Already Used the Word Fiasco Once In the Titles. Sue Me.
The Grossest Thing You Ever Ate
Dan, Dave and William Tell
Marty's Comeuppance
Dog-Eat-Dog
The Teacher from Hell
Jackie the Uber-Cute Part 1
Jackie the Uber-Cute/Pirate Chicks Part 2
Fear of Flying OR God Dammit, I Only Get Six Pretzels In a Pouch?
Sleep Deprivation OR I Need Starbucks. Lots of Starbucks.
Star Trek Crushes
St. Patrick’s Day
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend
Donut Shop Crazies
Porn ... or Art?
St Patrick’s Day “Mass” Destruction (not the same as the previous St. Patrick’s Day guide)
Gone Fishin’
The Torture of the HMS Pinafore
The Hatfields and the McCoys
St. Jude’s Prayer and the Zoo
Snipe Hunting
Food is Not a Toy
Carl’s Crush
The Haunted Lighthouse
P.C. Spirit Week
Crazy Radar
What’s My Age Again?
Rolfing
How to Fake Your Own Death Pt. 1
How to Fake Your Own Death Pt 2 (missed about 10 seconds because the tape ran out and I had to quickly turn it over)
Easter
The Mark of the Beast
The Coincidence Guy
RPGA=Really Pathetic Geeky Adolescents
The Great American Kung-Fu Movie Rip-Off
Supernatural
Iron Chef
I Can’t Tolerate This
Party? What Party?
The Ultimate Dollhouse Pt 1
The Ultimate Dollhouse/Twinkies! Pt 2
Holy Sock Monkey on a Stick
A Royal Asshole
For the Dogs
This is So Gay
The Unpleasantness of Living with Nana and Peepaw
Summer Camp
The Worst Poet in the World
Prank Calls 101
John Looks like Corey Hart Pt 1
John Looks like Corey Hart Pt 2 (tape ran out YET AGAIN so I missed 5-10 seconds while turning it over)
What Will You Do When the Zombies Arrive?
Peepicide
Forbidden Hot Tub
Thumb Sucking
Naked Gay Dan
Wheelchairs are Fun
Journey Concert
Superfriends
Disneyland Jobs
Stuffed Animal Homicide
Mr Suckass the Psycho Comedian Pt 1
Mr Suckass the Psycho Comedian/Moses the Attack Dog Pt 2
Unreasonable Jackie
May Day
Drink Personalities Pt 1
Drink Personalities/Wine Pt 2 (aka Funniest Guide EVAR)
Oz the Greek God
Amazing Ackerman
Faking the TV Show
Spinal Tap
Damien’s Road Trip
Frito-Lay the Little Perv
Ice Cream Man
That’s Your Boyfriend
Summer Camp and Snails
Portland Crazies
X-Men
I’m Going to the Thingo, and I’m Bringing a Something
Counting Crows
Square Dancing
Scavenger Hunt
The Joy of Sex Education
Driving Music Wars
French Dancing
How (Not) to Get Rid of a Zit
Lifeguard on Duty Pt 1
Lifeguard on Duty Pt 2