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Quotes

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I do my best to provide adequate context, and expect you to be responsible and take them only in context. Blah blah blah, blah blah, please don't sue me, blah blah. Just remember, these quotes were said in jest with no malicious intent, so please don't blow this stuff out of proportion. (Especially CCDS administration - perhaps some people know what I mean when I mention the administration blowing stuff out of proportion.)

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Totals - last update 18 october 2002
7 Mr. Anders (1 new)
71 Mr. Black
14 Mrs. Butler
2 Mrs. Carey
145 Mr. Dahl
76 Mrs. Dunn
45 Mr. Fossett (14 new)
3 Mme. Hecker
3 Mme. Kairet
66 Mr. Patterson (6 new)
97 Mr. Plummer (6 new)
8 Mr. Tuckman
2 Mrs. Zimmerman

50 Students and everyone else (11 new)


ANDERS

"It's subliminal math." (shows Michael Morarity's calculator - whenever a calculation is done, it outputs "I AM GAY")
(the next day)
"Four hours later, I gave his calculator to someone to give to him. Then I saw Michael walking down the hallway, looking kind of bummed, and I said 'Hey, Michael, I found your calculator. I gave it to Brittany Woods.' He said 'Aw, man, I love you,' and I said 'Whoa... uh ... I gotta go.' I don't think he ever got it." -Mr. Anders

"'Bicentennial'... does that mean everyone in Ohio is half gay and half straight?" -Mr. Anders

Jason: "What the F--- are you doing!?"
Mr. Anders: "Now, now, Jason. Don't end a sentence with a preposition."

"How did these things get associated with Easter? Chocloate bunnies... Jesus on a cross. I just don't get it." -Mr. Anders

(Mark e-mails Mr. Anders from right outside his classroom)
Mark: "So, can I do two more extra credit?"
Mr. Anders: "Yes, I replied. No, not on e-mail. I just came outside and said 'Yes, you can.' It's called speech."

"That's a good Russian name. 'Igrabyourrook Offtheboard.'" -Mr. Anders

Mr. Anders: "Don't worry. I'm a good driver. I've only gotten 7 tickets, been in 4 accidents and had my license suspended once. And I've never hit an actual human being."
Dan Bernstein: "Yes you have!"
Mr. Anders: "I've never injured an actual human being."

[ top ]

BUTLER

7 stupid chem video quotes

"I'm always amazed at how you guys can so brazenly say something so totally fabricated. You can say it with total confidence!" -Mrs. Butler

(on multiple guess strategy)
"If it's too hard, just skip it! And I'm a little uncomfortable saying that, because I don't want an engineer like that. I don't want a doctor like that." -Mrs. Butler

Jason: "You weren't kidding when you said you had to search really hard to take off a point."
Mrs. Butler: "Yeah... well, I felt a little guilty, but then you got the bonus, so..."

(draws stuff on board)
"Well, I think that's pretty good for a fake, made-up molecule." -Mrs. Butler

"It doesn't go flip-flop-flip-flop, it's just a smear of electrons." -Mrs. Butler

"So beryllium is one of the exceptions to the octet rule. ..... Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up first." -Mrs. Butler

"Let's say I'm feeling particularly sadistic this fine Monday." -Mrs. Butler

"Actually, they say it's better to do it when your toddler is still sleeping a fair amount, instead of when they're maybe 1 or 2 years old and you have to keep an eye on them constantly so they don't stick their fingers in sockets." -Mrs. Butler
(multiple people: "I've done that!!")

"I wish I had a scale of all the Mole Day projects from the past 18 years so I could see [how bad] that one was." -Mrs. Butler

"I think in 18 years, I've never seen a mole dance. We've had mole cheers, mole video tapes, but never a mole dance." -Mrs. Butler

"We don't talk to our colleagues, sit around the lunch table and say 'Ooh, I'm giving a test Thursday, what about you?'" -Mrs. Butler

(the context for this one is too long to write down)
"I'm not sure how he explained to his parents that the toilet exploded." -Mrs. Butler

(Robert's lid pops off)
"Oh no! Put on your safety goggles! We're dealing with tennis ball cans! They're dangerous!" -Mrs. Butler

[ top ]

CAREY (Mrs.)

"[Mrs. Butler] called me last night in the middle of Joe Millionaire, and I said 'Let me explain somethin' to you, PAULA.'" -Mrs. Carey

"So if I spell something wrong on the board, just shut up. Spell it right in your notes." -Mrs. Carey

[ top ]

HECKER

"I don't trust you guys. I left all my past final exams in the room with you. If you all get perfect on the exam ..." -Mme. Hecker

"Why can't you speak English like everybody else?" -Mme. Hecker, quoting from "Le Chanson Deguelasse" (pardon the spelling)

Mme. Hecker: "Les cornemuses ... ce sont des ... um ... 'windpipes' ... 'windbags' ... no ..."
Jason: "Bagpipes?"
Mme. Hecker: "Yeah. Ha, 'windbags'!"

[ top ]

KAIRET

(sorry in advance for grammatical errors I may have introduced in transcribing this)
"Je n'aime pas la Suisse... c'est un pays qui m'ennuie. Tout est propre! Et il n'y a pas d'artistes suisses! Qu'est-ce qu'ils ont inventé? Le chocolat!? Non! Je préfère le chocolat belgique..."
I don't like Switzerland... it's a country that annoys me. Everything is so proper! There are no Swiss artists ... what have the Swiss invented anyway? Chocolate!? No, I prefer Belgian chocolate...
-Mme. Kairet

(after another advisory complaint)
"It's not the cream of the crop, it's the crap of the crop!" -Mme. Kairet

(complaining about her advisory's cafeteria clean-up)
"We're finding a lot of ... I love to announce this word... CRAP." -Mme. Kairet

[ top ]

TUCKMAN

"There ARE beds. So it's not really camping but it is because it's in the woods." -Mr. Tuckman

"Yes, there are spiders! If there are no spiders in your tent, we will import them." -Mr. Tuckman

"I don't care if there are 68 or 67. I don't care if you're on this trip. I'M gonna be there. IT'S ALL ABOUT ME! ME!" -Mr. Tuckman

"How many of you woke up this morning, maybe your windows are open, and said 'Man, it's cold.' Imagine that without four walls around you." -Mr. Tuckman

"You're in your sleeping bag, and you zip it down and then the decision comes: 'How badly do I have to go?' THAT'S how cold it is!" -Mr. Tuckman

"How far are the toilets?"
Mr. Tuckman: "That depends on what you define as a toilet."

"There's SO much to get high on, without having to get high on anything." -Mr. Tuckman

"You do not shower. That's what the river is for." -Mr. Tuckman

[ top ]

ZIMMERMAN

"Do you prefer cosine over sine?"
Mrs. Zimmerman: "Yes, I'm a cosine racist."

"I always carry my calculator with me. You never know when you'll need to calculate your mortgage."
(40 seconds later)
"OK, graph this equation. I'd do it but I forgot my calculator."

[ top ]

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