Tongue Tied
Theme Tune
Cat
Holly Kryten Dave Lister
Arnie Rimmer's Death Machine March - MeltDown
Sung by Rimmer's Waxwork army. Elvis and The Heroes
We are tough and we are mean!
Arnie Rimmer's death machine
All we do is kill and slay
Don't care if we get blown away!
Hey! Har! Hey, hie, hee!
Hey! Har! Hey, hie, hee!
Arnie Rimmer's death machioiay-oiay-oiay!
Androids - Kryten
Theme tune for popular andriod show 'Androids'.
Androids,
Everybody needs good Androids,
Androids have feelings too.
Copacobana - Terrorform
Used by Kryten when offline
Little Fishy - Better Than Life
The Cat's feeding song
I'm going to eat you little fishy,
I'm going to eat you little fishy,
I'm going to eat you little fishy,
'cos I like little fish.
Happy Deathday - Thanks For The Memory
Sung by Red Dwarf crew for Rimmer's Deathday celebrations on an asterioid (2 March).
Happy deathday to you
Happy deathday to you
Happy deathday, dear Rimmer
Happy deathday to you
He's Got Cash - TimeSlides
Written, produced and sung by Craig Charles. Used as Lister enters his mansion.
He's got a Swatch watch, and a filofax
So that he can correlate his facts
He's got cash
He's got money
He's got cash
He's got money
(instrumental)
He's got cash
He's got money
Hol Rock - Parallel Universe
Bored of space Holly revelutionises music, by creating a new decimal system, called Hol Rock, using decatives instead of octaves. He makes two new notes H and J. Instruments will have to get bigger to fit the new notes in. Triangles will now have to have 4 sides, and women will be banned from playing the cello.
do, re, mi, fa, so, la, wo, bo, ti
ti, bo, wo, la, so, fa, mi, re, do
The Indling Song - Confidence & Paranoia
Written by Dave Lister
Our love I tried to kindle
Like firelight it dwindles
Now I wonder when this wind'll
Ever stop
I've Been To Titan - The End
Drinking song, sung by Peterson, Selby, Chen & Lister.
I've been to Titan
I've been to Juno
I can name (number) things
That (challenge), you know
The contestants then proceed to give correct answers until they get stuck, and whoever gets stuck is 'punished'.
I've been to Titan
I've been to Juno
I can name eight things
That go in jars, you know
Pickles!
Jam!
Spaghetti!
Brains!
The format of the verse seems to be adaptable, dropping the "you know" from the last line to allow for longer challenges, and changing the place name in the second line to keep the rhyme. The 2nd verse is more a joke at Lister's expense.
I've been to Titan
Me!
I've been to Polanski
I can name ninety men
Who've slept with Kochanski
Me!
Me!
The London Jets Juniors!
The service droids!
My mother!
Love Song (dedicated to Navigation Officer Kristine Kochanski)
Kochanski, Kochanski,
Love Song II
Kristine,
Lunar City Seven - The End & Future Echoes
To Ganymede and Titan,
Lunar City Seven,
The Rimmer Munchkin Song - Blue
If you're in trouble he will save the day,
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
Master of the wit and the repartee,
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
Om - TimeSlides
Om
Other songs from Red Dwarf
Rasta Billy Skank - Balance Of Power
I got Rasta Billy Skank
Red Dwarf Shuffle - Backwards
(boom, tschi, boom-ba-boom, tschi)
I didn't come here lookin' for trouble
(boom, tschi, boom-ba-boom, tschi)
He's smart!
(boom, tschi, boom-ba-boom, tschi)
He's smart!
Robert Hardy reads Tess of the D'urbervilles - Queeg
Ooooooowwwwwwww!
A Romantic Verse
I love you 'cause you're not a git,
Someone To Watch Over Me - Thanks For The Memory
I'm a little lamb trapped in the wood
She's Out Of My Life - Marooned
She's out of my life
It's cold outside,
I want to lie,
When I saw you for the first time
My hands they started shakin'
Why do you make me tongue tied
I tried to say I love you
'Cause you make me tongue tied
I'm trying to say nungy-nangy
Zero-G Love Song
When it's done in Zero-G
Written by Dave Lister
D'you fancy
A danceski?
Written by Dave Lister
With eyes of green,
Love you to the bottom
Of my spleen
Performed by Dave Lister (Guitar & Vocals)
Yes sir, I've been around,
But there ain't no place
in the whole of space,
Like the good ol' toddlin'town....
You're my idea of heaven.
Out of ten, you score eleven,
You good ol' artificial terra-formed
settlement...
Song about Arnold Rimmer. Part of 'The Rimmer Experience'.
He's brave and he's fearless come what may,
Without him the mission would go astray...
Without him life would be much grimmer,
He's handsome, trim, and no-one's slimmer,
He will never need a Zimmer.
More reliable than a garden strimmer,
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.
His command of Space Directives is uncanny,
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me...
He's also a fantastic swimmer,
And if you play your cards right,
then he just might come 'round for dinner.
No rhymes left now apart from quimmer
We hope they fade us out before we get to schlimmer
Fade out you stupid plimmer
Written by Dave Lister
Performed by Smeg & The Heads
Om
Om
Om
Om
Om
Om
Om
Om
One of Lister's favourites, Rasta Billy Skank's song carries a Government Health Warning: "Danger this music can make you irritable and irrational and has been linked with disorders of the nervous system and bowels." Reading it should be fine though...
So bold, I can't stand still
I got Rasta Billy Skank...
Performed by Lister and Cat after working out Nodnol was in Bulgaria. (They're wrong of course, but who cares?)
I just came to do the Red Dwarf shuffle!
A twisted tape version favoured by the Cat.
Yeah!
Yooaaaaaaouh!
Woooooooh!
Yeeaaaaaaahh-eah-wa!
Waaoooooooh!
Yeah!
Ooooooooooh, woooh, woooh!
Ooooooowwwwwwww!
Yeeooooowwwwwww!
Yeah! Oooooww!
Wooooooh! Wah! Lahv! Wah!
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
Yeah! Yeah!
Dow! Jump, back!
Daaaaaaaa!
Ooooh! Aaaahh! Yes! Chya!
Ooooh! Aaaahh!
Written by Rimmer - dedicated to Rachel. In the style of Byron & Shelley.
You love me for my puncture kit.
If Rimmer ever meet the right girl, this would be their song.
Maybe I could, really be good
With someone to watch over me
Performed by Dave Lister and was the first song he learnt to play
She's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life
Theme Tune
Original by Jenna Russell.
Versions include those sung by Elvis Presley (Clayton Mark); played on the Hammond organ for Amateur Hammond Organ Recital Night, by the Skutters; and 2 orchestral versions - Gunmen Of The Apocalypse and Stoke Me A Clipper.
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone,
More or less
Let me fly,
Far away from here
Fun, fun, fun
In the sun, sun, sun
Shipwrecked and comatosed
Drinking fresh mango juice
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes
Fun, fun, fun
In the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun
In the sun, sun, sun
Tongue Tied - Parallel Universe
Performed by Cat, Lister & Rimmer
(first time)
My knees began to quiver
(quiver)
And I got a funny feeling
(feeling)
In my kidneys and my liver
(digestive system baby)
(shakin')
My heart began a-thumpin'
(boom boom boom)
My breakfast left my body
(huey huey huey)
Now darling tell me something
(tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me
(near me)
Tied tongue
(tied tongue)
Tied tongue
(tied tongue)
Whenever you're in town
I saw you 'cross the dance floor
(dancin')
I thought of birds and bees
(reproductive system baby)
And when I tried to speak to ya
(talk talk)
My tongue unraveled to my knees
(flippety-flippety-flop)
(love you)
But it came out kind of wrong, girl
(wrong girl)
It sounded like "Nunubididoo"
(tongue tied)
Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl
(tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me
(near me)
Be-dobby-durgle
(dobby-durgle)
Tongue tied
(tongue tied)
Whenever you're around
Oh I'm beggin' on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
Understand me when I say
Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day
(nangy-nungy)
Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly
(clearly)
Be-dobby-durgle
(dobby-durgle)
Durgle-dobby
(durgle-dobby)
Whenever you're around
(around)
Whenever you're around
(around)
Written by Dave Lister
Sex is fun for you and me
But what can be a tragedy
Is visiting the lavatory
