|
|
Question &
Answer Joshes|
Q What’s green, squashy and spends a lot of time underwater? A An avacado with an aqualung Q What did Spock find when he went into the Enterprise’s loo? A The Captain’s log Q What’s pink, wrinkly and hangs out your underpants? A Your Granny Q How do you turn a duck into a sould singer? A Put it in a microwave and wait until its Bill Withers Q Why can’t Frankenstein have children? A ‘Cos his nuts are in his neck Q Did you hear about the three Irishmen sitting on the ground? A One fell off Q Why don’t worms have balls? A Because they can’t dance Q What’s pink and hard? A Miss Piggy with a flick-knife Q How do you circumcise a whale? A Send down four-skin-divers Q What goes in stiff and dry, comes out limp and wet, and gives pleasure to two people? A A teabag Q What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you? A Run like hell- he’s got the grenade in his mouth Q How does a squirrel keep its nuts dry? A It swims on it’s back Q What is the unity between bat and a button? A They can’t neither sing like the Swiss do (Er, it’s a Finnish joke.) Q What do you do with 365 used condoms? A Make them into a tyre and call it a good year Q What’s green, has six legs, 26 balls and would kill you if it fell on you from a tree? A A snooker table Q How do you sink an Irish submarine? A Knock on the door Q How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A Tell you tomorrow Q What do you call a fly with no legs? A A walk Q What do you call a sheep with no legs? A A cloud Q What’s pink and hard in the morning? A The Financial Time crossword Q How do frogs die? A They Kermit suicide Q What’s the difference between light and hard? A You can sleep with a light on Q What’s the definition of a drawing pin? A An excited Smartie Q What’s the difference between Kylie Minogue in a red light district and a bin liner in a red light district? A The bin liner will eventually get picked up Q Where do you keep your armies? A Up your sleevies Q Where do you keep your buccaneers? A (Cough) Q What do you have if you’ve got one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other? A Total control over the Jolly Green Giant Q What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other? A Eileen Q How do you make a dog drink? A Liquidise it Q What do you call a man with three pieces of wood stuck on his head? A Edward Woodward Q What do you call a man with four pieces of wood stuck on his head? A Haven’t a clue, but Edward Woodward would Q How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb? A Two. One to change it and the other not to change it. Q How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb? A Ten. One to change it and nine to sing about the old one. |
| Have you got a good joke? E-Mail it to me at university or home and I'll include it on my site (with a credit to you, of course) |