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In some old magazine or newspaper, I recollect a story, told as
truth, of a man—let us call him Wakefield—who absented himself
for a long time, from his wife. The fact, thus abstractedly is
not very uncommon, nor—without a proper distinction of
circumstances—to be condemned either as naughty or nonsensical.
Howbeit, this, though far from the most aggravated, is perhaps
the strangest instance, on record, of marital delinquency; and,
moreover, as remarkable a freak as may be found in the whole list
of human oddities. The wedded couple lived in London. The man,
under pretence of going a journey, took lodgings in the next
street to his own house, and there, unheard of by his wife or
friends, and without the shadow of a reason for such
self-banishment, dwelt upwards of twenty years. During that
period, he beheld his home every day, and frequently the forlorn
Mrs. Wakefield. And after so great a gap in his matrimonial
felicity—when his death was reckoned certain, his estate settled,
his name dismissed from memory, and his wife, long, long ago,
resigned to her autumnal widowhood—he entered the door one
evening, quietly, as from a day's absence, and became a loving
spouse till death.
This outline is all that I remember. But the incident, though of
the purest originality, unexampled, and probably never to be
repeated, is one, I think, which appeals to the general
sympathies of mankind. We know, each for himself, that none of
us would perpetrate such a folly, yet feel as if some other
might. To my own contemplations, at least, it has often
recurred, always exciting wonder, but with a sense that the story must be
true, and a conception of its hero's character. Whenever any
subject so forcibly affects the mind, time is well spent in
thinking of it. If the reader choose, let him do his own
meditation; or if he prefer to ramble with me through the twenty
years of Wakefield's vagary, I bid him welcome; trusting that
there will be a pervading spirit and a moral, even should we fail
to find them, done up neatly, and condensed into the final
sentence. Thought has always its efficacy, and every striking
incident its moral.
What sort of a man was Wakefield? We are free to shape out our
own idea, and call it by his name. He was now in the meridian of
life; his matrimonial affections, never violent, were sobered
into a calm, habitual sentiment; of all husbands, he was likely
to be the most constant, because a certain sluggishness would
keep his heart at rest, wherever it might be placed. He was
intellectual, but not actively so; his mind occupied itself in
long and lazy musings, that tended to no purpose, or had not
vigor to attain it; his thoughts were seldom so energetic as to
seize hold of words. Imagination, in the proper meaning of the
term, made no part of Wakefield's gifts. With a cold, but not
depraved nor wandering heart, and a mind never feverish with
riotous thoughts, nor perplexed with originality, who could have
anticipated, that our friend would entitle himself to a foremost
place among the doers of eccentric deeds? Had his acquaintances
been asked, who was the man in London, the surest to perform
nothing to-day which should be remembered on the morrow, they
would have thought of Wakefield. Only the wife of his bosom
might have hesitated. She, without having analyzed his
character, was partly aware of a quiet selfishness, that had
rusted into his inactive mind—of a peculiar sort of vanity, the
most uneasy attribute about him—of a disposition to craft, which
had seldom produced more positive effects than the keeping of
petty secrets, hardly worth revealing—and, lastly, of what she
called a little strangeness, sometimes, in the good man. This
latter quality is indefinable, and perhaps non-existent.
Let us now imagine Wakefield bidding adieu to his wife. It is
the dusk of an October evening. His equipment is a drab
greatcoat, a hat covered with an oilcloth, top boots, an
umbrella in one hand and a small portmanteau in the other. He
has informed Mrs.
Wakefield that he is to take the night-coach
into the country. She would fain inquire the length of his
journey, its object, and the probable time of his return; but,
indulgent to his harmless love of mystery, interrogates him only
by a look. He tells her not to expect him positively by the
return coach, nor to be alarmed should he tarry three or four
days; but, at all events, to look for him at supper on Friday
evening. Wakefield himself, be it considered, has no suspicion
of what is before him. He holds out his hand; she gives her own,
and meets his parting kiss, in the matter-of-course way of a ten
years' matrimony; and forth goes the middle-aged Mr. Wakefield,
almost resolved to perplex his good lady by a whole week's
absence. After the door has closed behind him, she perceives it
thrust partly open, and a vision of her husband's face, through
the aperture, smiling on her, and gone in a moment. For the
time, this little incident is dismissed without a thought. But,
long afterwards, when she has been more years a widow than a
wife, that smile recurs, and flickers across all her
reminiscences of Wakefield's visage. In her many musings, she
surrounds the original smile with a multitude of fantasies, which
make it strange and awful; as, for instance, if she imagines him
in a coffin, that parting look is frozen on his pale features;
or, if she dreams of him in Heaven, still his blessed spirit
wears a quiet and crafty smile. Yet, for its sake, when all
others have given him up for dead, she sometimes doubts whether
she is a widow.
But, our business is with the husband. We must hurry after him, along the street, ere he lose his individuality, and melt into
the great mass of London life. It would be vain searching for
him there. Let us follow close at his heels, therefore, until,
after several superfluous turns and doublings, we find him
comfortably established by the fireside of a small apartment,
previously bespoken. He is in the next street to his own, and at
his journey's end. He can scarcely trust his good fortune, in
having got thither unperceived—recollecting that, at one time, he
was delayed by the throng, in the very focus of a lighted
lantern; and, again, there were footsteps, that seemed to tread
behind his own, distinct from the multitudinous tramp around him;
and, anon, he heard a voice shouting afar, and fancied that it
called his name. Doubtless, a dozen busybodies had been
watching him, and told his wife the whole affair. Poor
Wakefield! Little knowest thou thine own insignificance in this
great world! No mortal eye but mine has traced thee. Go quietly
to thy bed, foolish man; and, on the morrow, if thou wilt be
wise, get thee home to good Mrs. Wakefield, and tell her the
truth. Remove not thyself, even for a little week, from thy
place in her chaste bosom. Were she, for a single moment, to
deem thee dead, or lost, or lastingly divided from her, thou
wouldst be woefully conscious of a change in thy true wife,
forever after. It is perilous to make a chasm in human
affections; not that they gape so long and wide—but so quickly
close again!
Almost repenting of his frolic, or whatever it may be termed,
Wakefield lies down betimes, and starting from his first nap,
spreads forth his arms into the wide and solitary waste of the
unaccustomed bed. "No"—thinks he, gathering the bed-clothes
about him—"I will not sleep alone another night."
In the morning, he rises earlier than usual, and sets himself to
consider what he really means to do. Such are his loose and
rambling modes of thought, that he has taken this very singular
step, with the consciousness of a purpose, indeed, but without
being able to define it sufficiently for his own contemplation. The
vagueness of the project, and the convulsive effort with which he
plunges into the execution of it, are equally characteristic of a
feeble-minded man. Wakefield sifts his ideas, however, as
minutely as he may, and finds himself curious to know the
progress of matters at home—how his exemplary wife will endure
her widowhood, of a week; and, briefly, how the little sphere of
creatures and circumstances, in which he was a central object,
will be affected by his removal. A morbid vanity, therefore,
lies nearest the bottom of the affair. But, how is he to attain
his ends? Not, certainly, by keeping close in this comfortable
lodging, where, though he slept and awoke in the next street to
his home, he is as effectually abroad, as if the stage-coach had
been whirling him away all night. Yet, should he reappear, the
whole project is knocked in the head. His poor brains being
hopelessly puzzled with this dilemma, he at length ventures out,
partly resolving to cross the head of the street, and send one
hasty glance towards his forsaken domicile. Habit—for he is a
man of habits—takes him by the hand, and guides him, wholly
unaware, to his own door, where, just at the critical moment, he
is aroused by the scraping of his foot upon the step. Wakefield!
whither are you going?
At that instant, his fate was turning on the pivot. Little
dreaming of the doom to which his first backward step devotes
him, he hurries away, breathless with agitation hitherto unfelt,
and hardly dares turn his head, at the distant corner. Can it
be, that nobody caught sight of him? Will not the whole
household—the decent Mrs. Wakefield, the smart maid-servant, and
the dirty little footboy—raise a hue-and-cry, through London
streets, in pursuit of their fugitive lord and master? Wonderful
escape! He gathers courage to pause and look homeward, but is
perplexed with a sense of change about the familiar edifice, such
as affects us all, when, after a separation of months or years,
we again see some hill or lake, or work of art, with which we
were friends, of old. In ordinary cases, this indescribable
impression is caused by the comparison and contrast between our
imperfect reminiscences and the reality. In Wakefield, the magic
of a single night has wrought a similar transformation, because,
in that brief period, a great moral change has been effected.
But this is a secret from himself. Before leaving the spot, he
catches a far and momentary glimpse of his wife, passing athwart
the front window, with her face turned towards the head of the
street. The crafty nincompoop takes to his heels, scared with
the idea, that, among a thousand such atoms of mortality, her eye
must have detected him. Right glad is his heart, though his
brain be somewhat dizzy, when he finds himself by the coal-fire
of his lodgings.
So much for the commencement of this long whim-wham. After the
initial conception, and the stirring up of the man's sluggish
temperament to put it in practice, the whole matter evolves
itself in a natural train. We may suppose him, as the result of
deep deliberation, buying a new wig, of reddish hair, and
selecting sundry garments, in a fashion unlike his customary suit
of brown, from a Jew's old-clothes bag. It is accomplished.
Wakefield is another man. The new system being now established,
a retrograde movement to the old would be almost as difficult as
the step that placed him in his unparalleled position.
Furthermore, he is rendered obstinate by a sulkiness,
occasionally incident to his temper, and brought on, at present,
by the inadequate sensation which he conceives to have been
produced in the bosom of Mrs. Wakefield. He will not go back
until she be frightened half to death. Well, twice or thrice has
she passed before his sight, each time with a heavier step, a
paler cheek, and more anxious brow; and, in the third week of his
non-appearance, he detects a portent of evil entering the house,
in the guise of an apothecary. Next day, the knocker is muffled.
Towards night-fall, comes the chariot of a physician, and
deposits its big-wigged and solemn burthen at Wakefield's door,
whence, after a quarter of an hour's visit, he emerges, perchance
the herald of a funeral. Dear woman! Will she die? By this
time, Wakefield is excited to something like energy of feeling,
but still lingers away from his wife's bedside, pleading with his
conscience, that she must not be disturbed at such a juncture.
If aught else restrains him, he does not know it. In the course
of a few weeks, she gradually recovers; the crisis is over; her
heart is sad, perhaps, but quiet; and, let him return soon or
late, it will never be feverish for him again. Such ideas
glimmer through the mist of Wakefield's mind, and render him
indistinctly conscious, that an almost impassable gulf divides
his hired apartment from his former home. "It is but in the next
street!" he sometimes says. Fool! it is in another world.
Hitherto, he has put off his return from one particular day to
another; henceforward, he leaves the precise time undetermined.
Not to-morrow—probably next week—pretty soon. Poor man! The
dead have nearly as much chance of re-visiting their earthly
homes, as the self-banished Wakefield.
Would that I had a folio to write, instead of an article of a
dozen pages! Then might I exemplify how an influence, beyond our
control, lays its strong hand on every deed which we do, and
weaves its consequences into an iron tissue of necessity.
Wakefield is spell-bound. We must leave him, for ten years or so,
to haunt around his house, without once crossing the threshold,
and to be faithful to his wife, with all the affection of which
his heart is capable, while he is slowly fading out of hers.
Long since, it must be remarked, he has lost the perception of
singularity in his conduct.
Now for a scene! Amid the throng of a London street, we
distinguish a man, now waxing elderly, with few characteristics
to attract careless observers, yet bearing, in his whole aspect,
the hand-writing of no common fate, for such as have the skill to
read it. He is meagre; his low and narrow forehead is deeply
wrinkled; his eyes, small and lustreless, sometimes wander
apprehensively about him, but oftener seem to look inward. He
bends his head, but moves with an indescribable obliquity of
gait, as if unwilling to display his full front to the world.
Watch him, long enough to see what we have described, and you
will allow, that circumstances—which often produce remarkable men
from nature's ordinary handiwork—have produced one such here.
Next, leaving him to sidle along the foot-walk, cast your eyes in
the opposite direction, where a portly female, considerably in
the wane of life, with a prayer-book in her hand, is proceeding
to yonder church. She has the placid mien of settled widowhood.
Her regrets have either died away, or have become so essential to
her heart, that they would be poorly exchanged for joy. Just as
the lean man and well conditioned woman are passing, a slight
obstruction occurs, and brings these two figures directly in
contact. Their hands touch; the pressure of the crowd forces her
bosom against his shoulder; they stand, face to face, staring
into each other's eyes. After a ten years' separation, thus
Wakefield meets his wife!
The throng eddies away, and carries them asunder. The sober
widow, resuming her former pace, proceeds to church, but pauses
in the portal, and throws a perplexed glance along the street.
She passes in, however, opening her prayer-book as she goes. And
the man? With so wild a face, that busy and selfish London
stands to gaze after him, he hurries to his lodgings, bolts the
door, and throws himself upon the bed. The latent feelings of
years break out; his feeble mind acquires a brief energy from
their strength; all the miserable strangeness of his life is
revealed to him at a glance; and he cries out,
passionately—"Wakefield! Wakefield! You are mad!"
Perhaps he was so. The singularity of his situation must have so
moulded him to itself, that, considered in regard to his
fellow-creatures and the business of life, he could not be said
to possess his right mind. He had contrived, or rather he had
happened, to dissever himself from the world—to vanish—to give up
his place and privileges with living men, without being admitted
among the dead. The life of a hermit is nowise parallel to his.
He was in the bustle of the city, as of old; but the crowd swept
by, and saw him not; he was, we may figuratively say, always
beside his wife, and at his hearth, yet must never feel the
warmth of the one, nor the affection of the other. It was
Wakefield's unprecedented fate, to retain his original share of
human sympathies, and to be still involved in human interests,
while he had lost his reciprocal influence on them. It would be
a most curious speculation, to trace out the effect of such
circumstances on his heart and intellect, separately, and in
unison. Yet, changed as he was, he would seldom be conscious of
it, but deem himself the same man as ever; glimpses of the truth,
indeed, would come, but only for the moment; and still he would
keep saying—"I shall soon go back!"—nor reflect, that he had been
saying so for twenty years.
I conceive, also, that these twenty years would appear, in the
retrospect, scarcely longer than the week to which Wakefield had
at first limited his absence. He would look on the affair as no
more than an interlude in the main business of his life. When,
after a little while more, he should deem it time to re-enter his
parlor, his wife would clap her hands for joy, on beholding the
middle-aged Mr. Wakefield. Alas, what a mistake! Would Time
but await the close of our favorite follies, we should be young
men, all of us, and till Doom's Day.
One evening, in the twentieth year since he vanished, Wakefield
is taking his customary walk towards the dwelling which he
still calls his own. It is a gusty night of autumn, with
frequent showers, that patter down upon the pavement, and are
gone, before a man can put up his umbrella. Pausing near the
house, Wakefield discerns, through the parlor windows of the
second floor, the red glow, and the glimmer and fitful flash, of
a comfortable fire. On the ceiling, appears a grotesque shadow
of good Mrs. Wakefield. The cap, the nose and chin, and the
broad waist, form an admirable caricature, which dances,
moreover, with the up-flickering and down-sinking blaze, almost
too merrily for the shade of an elderly widow. At this instant,
a shower chances to fall, and is driven, by the unmannerly gust,
full into Wakefield's face and bosom. He is quite penetrated
with its autumnal chill. Shall he stand, wet and shivering here,
when his own hearth has a good fire to warm him, and his own wife
will run to fetch the gray coat and small-clothes, which,
doubtless, she has kept carefully in the closet of their
bed-chamber? No! Wakefield is no such fool. He ascends the
steps—heavily!—for twenty years have stiffened his legs, since
he came down—but he knows it not. Stay, Wakefield! Would you go
to the sole home that is left you? Then step into your grave!
The door opens. As he passes in, we have a parting glimpse of
his visage, and recognize the crafty smile, which was the
precursor of the little joke, that he has ever since been playing
off at his wife's expense. How unmercifully has he quizzed the
poor woman! Well; a good night's rest to Wakefield!
This happy event—supposing it to be such—could only have occurred
at an unpremeditated moment. We will not follow our friend
across the threshold. He has left us much food for thought, a
portion of which shall lend its wisdom to a moral, and be shaped
into a figure. Amid the seeming confusion of our mysterious
world, individuals are so nicely adjusted to a system, and
systems to one another, and to a whole, that, by stepping aside
for a moment, a man exposes himself to a fearful risk of losing
his place forever. Like Wakefield, he may become, as it were,
the Outcast of the Universe.
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