The Male Rule Book
The Male Rule Book!!!
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Lads - hello and welcome to what is the definitive Male Rule Book. Follow this list of rules and you can't go far wrong.

If you have any additions then please feel free to send me suggestions.

1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed
and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master b) After wrecking your boss' car
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend
out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.
10. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach. And it's delivered by a supermodel. And it's free.
11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts
12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked
13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
15. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
explain the scoring system.
16. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a
girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and
threw it into a ceiling fan.
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
18. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.
20. Thou shall not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5
litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16
valves, and a turbo.
21. Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime,
green, orange, or sky blue.
22. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 2.
End of story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©spudgunn84.co.uk™ 2003 - This was copied from an e-mail sent to me and I can't be held repsonsible for anything - at all - ever!!!