The Official N00b Webpage

 

Real Ultimate Power

 

Hi, this site is all about n00bs, REAL N00BS.  This site is awesome.    My name is [noob]Newb and I can't stop thinking about n00bs.  These guys are dumb; and by dumb, I mean totally retarded.

 

Facts:

 

1.    N00bs are mammals.

2.    N00bs suck ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the n00b is to flip out and kill himself.

 

 

Weapons and gear:

 

  

Caps Lock key                   Ritalin (or lack thereof)   

 

 

 

 

Testimonial:

 

N00bs can kill themselves anytime they want!  N00bs suck ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so new and reckless that they die ALL the time.  I heard that there was this n00b who was playing Starcraft.  And when some Zergling walked by, the n00b destroyed his own base out of fear.  My friend Bob said that he saw a n00b totally type in all caps just because he forgot to take his Ritalin.

 

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you don't believe that n00bs have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will go kamikaze in an all-out attempt to slay their allies!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

 

N00bs are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  N00bs are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start using the internet next year.  I love n00bs with all of my body (excluding my pee pee).    

 

 

Q and A:.

 

 

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about n00bs?

A: N00bs are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they think they "T0TALLY 0WN J00", but on the other hand, n00bs just plain suck.

 

Q: I heard that n00bs are always gay or flaming homos.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, n00bs can be gay OR totally awesome. 

 

Q: What do n00bs do when they're not dying or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent physically beating up their computers for not working, but sometimes they run down the street yelling "I WON I WON!!1".  (Ask Bob if you don't believe me.)

 

 

This is a picture of my best friend Bob showing off.

He's a lot newer than me and hasn't turned off his Caps Lock key in three years,

which is bragable.

 

 

 

 

This has been a parody of REAL ULTIMATE POWER
Check out more Real Ultimate Power parodies at the Official REAL ULTIMATE POWER Parody Directory.