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(Parody of "Bad" by Micheal Jackson) Lyrics: Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My zippers bust, my buckles break I'm too much man for you to take The pavement cracks when I fall down I've got more chins than Chinatown Well, I've never used a phone booth And I've never seen my toes When I'm goin' to the movies I take up seven rows Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout Just now tell me once again who's fat When I walk out to get my mail It measures on the Richter scale Down at the beach I'm a lucky man I'm the only one who gets a tan If I have one more pie a la mode I'm gonna need my own zip code When you're only having seconds I'm having twenty-thirds When I go to get my shoes shined I gotta take their word Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds Lemme tell you once again who's fat If you see me comin' your way Better give me plenty space If I tell you that I'm hungry Then won't you feed my face Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house I really sit around the house You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know, you know, you know, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) And you know all by myself I'm a crowd Lemme tell you once again You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, you know, hoo (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud Just tell me once again who's fat |
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Lyrics: Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet Next comes the part that I won't ever forget Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spies They give me some velcro, and an order of fries Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise I fall down a hole and that's when I realize I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night All right! Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door And I'm back in the very same place I was before Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night And I can't bust out and I can't break free And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me And I can't go home and I can't get loose And I try to escape but it's just no use And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in And I can't go back and I can't get through But Vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you Come on Vanna, come on! Ow, buhhh Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again That's right, I even wake up screaming now and then See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address I'm half an hour late for my algebra test Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White Stuck in a closet with Vanna White N-n-n-night after night after night night night Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya) I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya) I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White |
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(Parody of "I've Got My Mind Set On You" by George Harrison) Lyrics: This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long Couldn't think of any lyrics No I never wrote the lyrics So I'll just sing any old lyrics That come to mind, child You really need words Whole lotta rhyming words You gotta rhyme so many words, mm-mm To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it To do it, to do it right, child This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long I know that you're probably sore 'Cause I didn't write any more I just didn't get to complete it So that's why I gotta repeat it This song is just six words long (six words long) This song is just six words long (six words long) Oh I make a lotta money They pay me a ton of money They're payin' me plenty of money To sing this song, child I gotta fill time Three minutes worth of time Oh, how will I fill so much time, mm-mm I'll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo A solo, a solo here This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song's got nothin' to say But I'm recording it anyway I know if I put my mind to it I know I could find a good rhyme here Oh, you gotta have-a music You need really catchy music This song has got plenty of music But just six words, child And so I'll sing' em over And over and over and over And over and over and over, mm-mm And over and over and over And over and over and over again Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long This song is just six words long It's just six words long |
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Lyrics: You make me wanna slam my head against the wall You make me do the limbo You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall You make me watch the Gong Show There's really something kinda strange about you, baby, but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts You make me wanna phone home You make me wanna write a dozen book reports Then pack myself in styrofoam Sometimes you make me want to build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park Then take my hamster to the beach You make me wanna do my laundry in the dark And use a recommended bleach When I'm with you I don't know whether I should study neurosurgery or go to see the Care Bears movie You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me That's what you do to me That's what you do to me That's what you do to me You make me wanna break the laws of time and space You make me wanna eat pork You make me wanna staple bagels to my face Then remove 'em with a pitchfork You know there's something quite unusual about you but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do-do-do-do-do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do to me |
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(Parody of "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tommy James) Lyrics: Isn't it strange Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror What would people say If only they knew that I was Part of some geneticist's plan (plan-plan-plan) Born to be a carbon copy man (man-man-man) There in a petri dish late one night They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say I think I'm a clone now There's always two of me just a-hangin' around I think I'm a clone now 'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down Look at the way We go out walking close together I guess you could say I'm really beside myself I still remember how it began (gan-gan-gan) They produced a carbon copy man (man-man-man) Born in a science lab late one night Without a mother or a father, just a test tube and a womb with a view I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) There's always two of me just a-hangin' around I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) And I can stay at home while I'm out of town I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every pair of genes is a hand-me-down Signing autographs for my fans Come and meet the carbon copy man Livin' in stereo, it's all right Well I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza so I say I think I'm a clone now Another one of me's always hangin' around I think I'm a clone now 'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) I've been on Oprah Winfrey - I'm world renowned I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) And every pair of genes is a hand-me-down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) That's my genetic twin always hangin' around I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) |
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(Parody of "La Bamba" by Los Lobos) Lyrics: La-la-la-la-lasagna You want-a some-a lasagna magnifico Or a-maybe spaghetti Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go Mama mia bambino Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you 'Samatta you, 'samatta you You should-a taste my lasagna Ay, you no like-a lasagna That's okay too How about-a calzone Some-a nice minestrone, ats good for you Have-a some marinara Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like I know-a you like, I know-a you like La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna Would you like some-a zucchini Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard to beat Have-a more fettuccini Ay, you getting too skinny, you gotta to eat Ay, mange, mange (gargling) Ay, you-a pass the lasagna A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy pig Have-a more ravioli You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a big Like you cousin Luigi Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan Capisce paisan, capisce paisan La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna Hey Hey (laughing) |
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Lyrics: Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap I knew she had to be the girl for me And to think I probably never would have found her If I hadn't bought that telescope Oh, Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me I just can't understand it Why won't you return my phone calls Are you still mad I gave a Mohawk to your cat If you'd just say the word I'm certain that our love would last forever and ever Or are you too dumb to realize that Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me How can you ignore me when you know that I can't live without you I have to go through your garbage just to learn more about you Melanie, ooh Oh sweet Me-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me You weren't impressed when I tattooed your name across my forehead You wouldn't listen when I promised to be true I couldn't stand it so I jumped out from the sixteenth story window Right above you Now I may be dead but I still love you Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet, sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie Why won't you go out with me |
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(Parody of "Mony Mony" by Billy Idol) Lyrics: (cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) (Yeah) 'Cause she took my house (alimony), my car (alimony) My shoes (alimony) and my toothbrush too (alimony) Too bad (alimony), so sad (alimony) Ah-she got (alimony), got the gift of grab (alimony) I'm in debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt) Lawyer's callin' me on the telephony Tryin' to squeeze some blood from a stonee-stony Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah Then she took me for everything, yeah everything She could get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get) (Get) Well I'm out of cash (alimony), no dough (alimony) I'm broke (alimony), it's no joke (alimony) The check's in the mail (alimony), get off (alimony) My back (alimony), cut me some slack (alimony) I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) (Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Oh you do (Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Is it due (Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Or you'll sue (Ooh, I want my alimo-mo-mony) Alimony (yeah), mony (yeah) Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) Wow (cash register "ching") (Alimony, alimony, alimony) I said (alimony) Come on, come on, come on Alimony, alimony, alimony Bleed me dry (alimony) I said no (no), oh no (no) No (no), no (no), no (no), no (no), no (no) |
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Lyrics: My life, it used to be incomplete Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet My life it won't be the same again Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis means the world to me Although he may not be worth much dough He means much more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh Check out those sideburns, there's nothing greater You can tell that he's no velvet Elvis imitator Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis Oh, now you can't you see My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis means the world to me In my own private Graceland In my own little shrine to the king I don't want nothin' else No, I don't need anything Don't need no lava lamp Don't need no soap on a rope No pictures of Mexican kids with those really big eyes Or dogs playing poker When I'm at home watching my TV I know the king is always looking down on me He looks so handsome, he stands so tall So glad he's big enough to cover up that hole in the wall (Velvet Elvis) He's so fuzzy (Velvet Elvis) He's so great (Velvet Elvis) Never ages (Velvet Elvis) Never puts on weight (Velvet Elvis) Look at those rhinestones (Velvet Elvis) He's just so fine (Velvet Elvis) You can look but don't touch now (Velvet Elvis) 'Cause he's mine all mine |
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Lyrics: Yeah Well, Well, Milton Bradley's got a def one It's a Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister) Yeah, all the girls and homeboys Playin' Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister!) Spin the spinner and call the shot Twister ties you up in a knot That's Twister Yeah, Twister Check it Right foot blue (Right foot blue) Left hand red (Left hand red) Left, Right, Yellow, Blue, Green Yeah, Twister Now, everybody's chillin' With the Twister (Twister) Wherever things are illin' You'll find Twister (Twister, Twister!) That's Twister Yeah, Twister Yeah buddy You gotta get it Yeah Twister From MB |
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Lyrics: Oh some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie And I'd spend all day long in the basement Torturing rats with a hack-saw And pulling the wings off of flies Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days I can still remember good old Mr. Fender Who ran the corner grocery store Oh, he'd strolled down the aisle with a big friendly smile And he'd say "Howdy" when you walked in the door Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice I don't know why I set fire to his place Oh I'll never forget the day I bashed in his head Well you should've seen the look on his face Let me tell ya now Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Do you remember sweet Michelle She was my high school romance She was fun to talk to and nice to smell So I took her to the homecoming dance Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair And I left her in the desert all alone Well sometimes in my dreams I can still hear the screams Oh I wonder if she ever made it home I tell ya Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Let me tell ya buddy Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days I Love The Good Old Days |
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