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(Parody of "Living In America" by James Brown)
Lyrics:
Help me out
Dig
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss
Living with a hernia, ow
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old, ow
Too much bad pain
Good God, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now
Say it
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow
Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia, yow
Got to have an operation
Ow, I live with a hernia
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia
Wait a minute
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
There's incomplete (incomplete)
Epigastric (epigastric)
Bladder, huh (bladder)
Strangulated (strangulated
Lumbar hernia (lumbat hernia)
Richter's hernia (Richter's hernia)
Obstructed (obstructed)
Inguinal and Direct
Living with a hernia
Rupture
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
Yeah, I feel bad |
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Lyrics:
Found a job in a great big office
And I really love this place
I got my, my very own Scotch tape dispenser
And I got a private parking space, ha
And I, I got a coffee mug with my name right on it
In big bold letters so everyone knows it's mine
Don't even touch it, 'cause, 'cause it doesn't belong to you
I'm watching you, so don't get funny
I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Watch out, well, it's dog eat dog, here we go
I love to watch my boss get angry
So I can count the veins in his neck, ha
Every day is like a picnic
Every Friday, get a check
Well, do I smell jelly donuts? This is my lucky day
I'll have some coffee with a carcinogenic sweetener
Hold on a minute, just one more jelly donut
They'll never miss it, no, they'll never miss it
I, I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out, well, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Watch out, hey, well, it's dog eat dog
Sometimes I can't believe this is all really happening
Sometimes I can't believe that I'm really sitting here
Sometimes I tell myself, this is not my beautiful stapler
Sometimes I tell myself, this is not my beautiful chair
No-duddi-o d-du-du-oh-ya, ha, ha
Nobody's sure what I do here
And, ah, that's just fine with me
Five o'clock is here much too soon now
'Cause I just never wanna leave
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals
Maybe I could get on, on David Letterman
I think I made a big mistake
Where's my liquid paper, where's my liquid paper
I, I'm climbing up, way up the corporate ladder now
Watch out, well, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Better be careful now, it's dog eat dog
Watch me work, hey, hey, stand back now
Look out, mama, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels real good
Hey, dog eat dog, here we go (doggy doggy dog dog, it's dog eat dog)
I said pang-ang, dog eat dog (woof woof, hey hey, dog eat dog)
I said, (sound), dog eat dog (here we go, ha, dog eat dog)
La la ha he, dog eat dog, la la ha he, dog eat dog (dog barking)(dog eat dog, dog eat dog) |
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(Parody of "Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer)
Lyrics:
Potato skins, potato cakes
Hash browns, and instant flakes
Baked or boiled or french fried
There's no kind you haven't tried
You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can't deny they've got appeal
Whoah
You like them whether they are plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough
You know, you're gonna have to face it
You're addicted to spuds
Your greasy hands, your salty lips
Looks like you found the chips
Your belly aches, your teeth grind
Some tator tots would blow your mind
And you don't mind if they're not cooked
You need your fix, I guess you're hooked
And late at night you always dream
Of bacon bits and sour cream
Whoah, you like them even if they're lumpy or tough, oh yeah
Whee, It's pretty obvoius to me you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it
You're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Ooh yeah
I'm givin' up, it'sjust no use
Another case of spud abuse
What can I say, what can I do
Potato bug has got me too, Wahoo
I used to hate them, now they're all that I eat, oh yeah
Whee, I've often seen then whipped, but they just can't be beat
Now I'm gonna have to face it
I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds |
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Lyrics:
Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's one of those days, it's just one of those days
I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days, it's just one of those days
I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those day, it's just one of those days
Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days, gonna be one of those days
The nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days, ever have one of those days
The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone
It's just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days
The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, should've known
It's just one of those days, it's just one of those days
A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater-tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days
Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days
Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days
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(Parody of "12 songs")
Lyrics:
You could have a big dipper
Going up and down all around the bends
You can have a bumper car bumping
This amusement never ends
I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don't you call my name
Ah, oh let me be your sledgehammer
This can be your testimony, yeah
Yeah
There's a girl that's been on my mind
All the time, Su-sussudio
Oh oh
Now she don't even know my name
But I think she likes me just the same
Su-sussudio, whoa oh
And my girl wants to
Party all the time, party all the time, party all the time
My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time
She parties all the time
Say you, say me
Say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me
Say it together
Naturally
We're going riding on the freeway of love (wind's against our back)
We're going riding on the freeway of love (in a pink Cadillac)
That's why you need
That's why
That's what you need
That's what you need
Ya ya ya, do the Harlem polka
(Everybody now)
Ya ya ya, do the Harlem polka
She's got it, yeah baby, she's got it
Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire
What's your desire
Nasty, nasty boys, don't mean a thing
Oh you nasty boys
Nasty, nasty boys, don't ever change
Oh you nasty boys
I like this part
Ooh, rock me Amadeus
Ooh, rock me Amadeus
Ooh, rock me Amadeus
Ooh
Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can't do without
Come on, I'm talking to you
Come on
Please, papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I've made up my mind
I'm keeping my baby
I'm gonna keep my baby
I'm gonna keep my baby |
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(Parody of "Who's Johnny" by El DeBarge)
Lyrics:
There he goes, he drives me crazy
When he says "Here's Johnny"
That's his job, it's so amazing
All he says is "Here's Johnny"
I never miss a moment when he's on the tube
His being there has made my life worth living
The chills run down my spine
Each time he says that line
"Here's Johnny" He says, and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says and second fiddle is his game
Ed McMahon's his name, all right
Woah, oh yeah
Dressed so fine, he's such a cool dude
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"
Watch him selling beer and dog food
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"
I got a letter from him just the other day
He said "You may already be a winner"
A trooper to the end
A Clydesdale's best friend
"Here's Johnny" he says and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says and that's the way he gets his pay
What a living
Oh "Here's Johnny, Here's Johnny" Woah no
"Here's Johnny, Here's Johnny" No no, no no no no I don't believe it
"Here's Johnny" he says and everytime it's just the same
Ed McMahon's his name
(Special guy) A very special guy, all right
(He's on) He's on every night
(Every night) Can't change the channel
When he's sitting on the panel
"Here's Johnny"
There he goes, he gives me goose bumps
When he says "Hey-Oh, Hey-Hey-Oh"
"Here's Johnny" he says and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says, that seems to be his claim to fame
Ed McMahon's his name
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)
"Here's"
"Here's Johnny" |
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Lyrics:
I don't care if you wreck my car or shave off all my hair
You can go and run your vacuum during my favorite show
And I'll let you call up folks in Europe you don't even know
Anything you want, babe, if it makes you happy
But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spend my money, you can waste my time
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes
Don't wear those shoes
It's all right, you can play your Twisted Sister every night
I suppose you can lick the middles out of my Oreos
Or start laughing when you're drinking milk so it comes out your nose
And you know that I'd do anything to please you
But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spit in my face if you're so inclined
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes
(Oh no, oh no)
Oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no
Please don't wear those (shoes)
Use my razor to shave your legs or eat crackers in bed
Stomp the poodle till it's flat
You could even shove a six inch railroad spike through my head
I could learn to live with that
But now I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can whip me, beat me, rob me blind
Baby I don't mind, but please don't wear those
I said oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
You can scratch up my records, you can drink my booze
But baby, please don't wear those shoes
You can make me an offer I can't refuse
But darling, please don't wear those shoes
You can play your bongos while I'm trying to snooze
But honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can expose yourself on the six o'clock news
But please, please don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said oh no, oh no, oh no |
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(Parody of "Ruthless People" by Mick Jagger)
Lyrics:
They only show you their gums when they smile
Ain't got a tooth in their heads now, how vile
Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce
They never have to buy toothpicks or dental floss
Hey, stand up
Toothless people, their breath is lethal, wanna tell you
Hey, come on, stand up, get on your feet
Toothless people, old and feeble, what I say
No more of those pearly whites will they possess
Their oral hygiene is frightful, a mess
Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease
At least they don't have to worry 'bout cavities
Hey, stand up, take out your teeth
Toothless people, old and feeble, oh yes
You can brush 'em, you can floss 'em
They're something you just can't ignore
If you lose 'em, you're in trouble
'Cause the tooth fairy won't come no more
You need something to show your dentist
The next time he makes you say "Ah"
You don't wanna have to wind up
Eating all of your food through a straw
(Like toothless people, toothless people)
You'd better brush your teeth now (hey)
Toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless people
Hey, stand up, toothless people |
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Lyrics:
Oh, I couldn't live a single day without you
Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, honey, you're the greatest
Well, at any rate, I guess you're pretty good
Now, it seems to me I'm relatively lucky
I know I probably couldn't ask for too much more
I honestly can say you're an above average lady
You're almost just what I've been looking for
You're sort of everything I ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of
Well, not really, but you're good enough for now
You're pretty close to what I've always hoped for
That's why my love for you is fairly strong
And I swear I'm never gonna leave you, darlin'
At least 'til something better comes along
'Cause you're sort of everything I ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of
Well, not really, but you're good enough for now
No, not really, but you're good enough for now |
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Lyrics:
It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
While the air raid sirens blare
It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test
Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny
Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud
(siren)
You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill
Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see the all new
Mutations on New Year's Day
It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe
It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
(siren) |
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